Now it's obvious that no matter what I do, I get no respect here in BTW. Preacher, Massi, Birrdy, none of them respect me, and I'm getting fucking tired of it. Well, you guys will learn to respect me...heh heh, you'll learn to respect me all right. Listen to this boys, how bout I just take you all out, one by one. I'm talking about many of you, but mainly that rag-tag group of assmonkies, I belive they are known as DF/AOD. I'm going to make it my personal mission to take them out one, by one, by damn one, and you'll all be wishing, man, why did we have to piss off Joe Cool. Cause right now, you look at me and see what you want to see. I don't give a damn, I won't ever give a damn, about any of your comments. As of now, my actions are going to start speaking louder than my words. I'm not going to play by the rules anymore, I'm not going to listen to anyone. Nightstalker, this message is especially for you: You'd better protect your merchandise, because if you don't, you'll be losing money big time. I'm going right through your rules, you got that? You all can bring it on, cause you are all going down. And, as I have stated earlier, I would side with Hell's Fire just to do it.
Now, speaking of that piece of white trash, I do go onto Birrdy. Birrdy, The United States Champion. The belt I deserve, the belt I shouldn't have lost. But enough about that. You know very well about it. What you also should know, is that I'm pissed off big time, and you are the first to feel my wrath. I know what you must be thinking. You think that you're going to take advantage of this little losing streak I've been having, well, as you say about yourself, I'm very unpredictable and I can do any types of fighting styles. You said something like that. Oh, I noticed another thing you said, you said you could go extreme???? Boy, let me tell you extreme. Extreme is when you walk into a match, not knowing if you are going to make it out alive, Extreme is when you are out there, and so much pain was just sent to your body you feel like your dying. But then, you realize that the pain feels good, then blood pouring from your skull, tastes good, and it begins to motivate you. That's when you stand up, and you say to yourself, I wanna do this to other people. Extreme is when you take the pain, then deliver that times ten to your opponent. That's what happened to me a long time ago, and I've been wanting to hurt people ever since. It kinda cooled down upon entering BTW, but guess what? You've given me more motivation, and now, I want you to make me bleed, break my body. But you won't break my spirit. And that would be the thing you would want to break, cause if you don't, you're going to bleed, your body, WILL BE BROKEN! Hell, I'm going to try and do it anyway, cause I want to see you bleed. Then you'll begin to wonder what the hell happened to me, and you'll realize that you were just hit with extreme. And you can that that to the bank. You come out with an agressive, but non-intimidating attitude, and I'll say, "No, please spare me Mr. Birrdy, I don't want to die laughing at your attempts to hurt me!" Guess what Birrdy. You can't hurt me. You know why? Let me show you why.
Proving that he may have went a bit off the deep end, but otherwise just snapped, Joe begins to cut his arm with a razor, and watches the blood drip off onto the floor. We hear him mutter something like,"Eat Your Heart Out Caine," and he looks back at the camera, laughing.
Heh Heh Heh, LOOK AT THIS MOTHER FUCKER! This is my blood, I did it to myself! I may need stiches on my arm, I don't care!!! It feels good! Nothing you can do is going to give me pain. Yea sure, this hurts, but it feels good! All at the same time! You know what this means for you? YOU'RE GONNNNA LOOOOSE! YOU'RE GONNNNA LOOOOSE! HAHAHAHHHA! You are not going to win!! I'm going to be champ, not you! HAHAHAHAHAHA! But according to your little message to me, you think that is not so. I don't know why, cause you know good and well that I will become a 2-time champion this Sunday. But I think I'm going to respond to the comments anyway, because I want to let you know my opinion of them. Hell, I could take a shit right now, point the camera at the toliet and then you would know what I think your promos are worth, but I'll just use the non-visual method. I think you are shit, Birrdy! HAHA, A big fat piece of shit! I mean, look who you beat for that title! CAGE! HAHAHAAHA. Anyway, I'm going to respond, but I would like to deliver a bit of irony to this situation. A month or so ago, I defeated a DF/AOD member to win the US title. This Sunday, I'm going to beat a DF/AOD member, for guess what????? THE US Title!
Anyway, On to the response! You are pissed about one little attack? HEll, take that times 100, that's what you get Sunday. You get me times 100, and the One Step Closer will even hurt more, cause I won't be rushing to hit it. All I was doing last Saturday, was leaving a message, and I can say that message was recieved. And by the way, I'm sorry to tell you, that if that little attack stunned you for a minute, then that means that I'll be able to pin you for a measily three seconds of that minute. Then you'll sit up and look around, and you'll realize you just lost! YOU WILL HAVE LOST, and you'll be like, "damn, Joe Cool has right all along. Why the hell did I not listen?" And I'll be like,"It's because you are Preacher's bitch!!! And he brainwashes you every time you two..um..get together!" That's the nicest way I can describe your um..."meetings". Other than, disgusting, nasty,gross, and very very morally wrong, that's basically the only way I can describe them. You talk about me trying to do three things with my attack, and being successful. I was going for D myself, which is ALL OF THE ABOVE! I got your attention, let you know that I wanted the US title, then decided to piss you off in the process. Of course, I have no fear of the very minor reprecussions that could occur because of it, such as you bitching to Nightstalker that you want the match cancelled, then crying because he says it's still on, you have to lose your belt. Don't feel bad, I'm sure Sam Caine will let you try to get a SOB title reign again.
Birrdy, I will say this, you have officially given me a headache. You were trying to tell jokes! At least three to four times as a matter of fact! Let me tell you, that is not possible for you. You cannot be funny, but I will admit, the US army could use you to clear out a battlefield, so none of their troops can get shot, and you could annoy the other country! Then we could invade and win! Then again, they might have to run away as well! And another thing, do you think you are Shaolin, or something? You're sitting their talking about, "Only true champions, fight without belts." I know I'm a true champion, I just like having the extra money that comes when you represent as a champion! I mean, extra money is good! But anyway, you sit there, and you are really acting like Shao now, you go talking about "The True Qualities of a Champion". Well, let's see what you had to say. Toughness. I believe we already covered this when I cut deep into my arm a few minutes ago with a razor. Who, just who is tougher bitch? That would be me. I talk tougher, I fight tougher, I listen to tougher music(not that it matters), I look tougher, I AM TOUGHER! Now, anyway, did you happen to watch the same Iron Man match I competed in? Oh well. Massicrist almost ended my life? Where the hell was that in the match? All he did was pin me for a three count, not paralyse me, almost kill me, or anything. So THERE! But, be advised, I am going to try to paralyse, if not kill, you, hahahahahahaha, bet you just pissed your pants on that one! HAHAHA!
Joe then recieves a knock on the wall from the room next to him telling him to keep it down. He yells out FUCK YOU, and picks up his camera and leaves. He makes his way to the outside, where he chooses to go to an alley to finish. We see a pot smoker sitting near him. This is where a small bit of comic relief picks up.
Hey, man, do you want a hit, I got lots more....cough cough...this stuff is good...cough cough.
Hey, I heard that guy in the next few allys from here is selling some better stuff, why don't you go check?
Marvin is holding out on me??? I'm going to kick his ass dammit!
Um..yea, you go do that.
The pothead stands up and begins to shuffle around. He falls into some trash cans, then gets back up and walks away, still out of it.
Now with all distractions aside, I can go one responding and stuff. The next one I believe was talent. If I didn't have talent, I would be as successful as I am. I've won every title, except for the TV Title and the World, but why in the hell would I want a TV title reign? Oh wait, you said I have, and I quote, SOME TALENT. SOME TALENT???? I have more talent than you, trust me! You say you can go in any type of match, we've covered that. The next item was, um...Loyalty. So I'm not loyal. Small correction, however, HF didn't leave me, I left HF. But that was a long time ago, and the details are far unimportant as it pertains to our match. DF kicked me out because I was stealing the spotlight from Taker, and the rest of them. That was before it would be easy to steal spotlight from a Df member. I can do that, and not be in the stable! That's how bad the rest of you are! Enoch and I formed a stable, and he decided to kiss Jules's ass! That's why I was kicked out, you know how much the boss hates me, and if you don't, grab a history book! Now there is POD, in which we kicked out Ryan Contra, and now Gazgrel, who isn't retired, just taking a leave of absense due to many injuries, it's just me. I need no one to back me up anyway. I could retire the POD stable, and still be as good as I was. Next, we have Responsibilty. That means that you try to take low blows, and say I blame other people for my losses. Well, I can tell you this. I lost to Wolf, due to a Hand of God Chokeslam. That might be blaming, but it was as clear as day. I lost to Massicrist, when he beat me on his own! Guess what Birrdy, I would like to mention that you are not taking responsibilty yourself! You didn't beat The dude, Joe Cool beat the Dude! I just let you hit your worthless finisher on him, even though he could have been pinned easily after I attacked him. Don't think I did that cause I like you either Birrdy, he got in my face and paid for it.
Birrdy, not only do I doubt you, but I don't give a fuck. I don't care about your ability, because it's not as good as mine. I don't care about your dedication, because I don't think there is any there. I don't care what you stand for, cause I hate gay people and don't believe in gay rights. And I don't care about your wrestling skill, or in a more true statement, your lack of wrestling skill. You take pride in everything you do, which means that your ego and your pride, are about to be crushed. You talk about beating your opponents, and how they've held titles, like I'm supposed to care about that too! Not only have I held all the titles you mentioned, but I held the SOB and Hardcore titles twice! So, Birrdy, stop your bitching and your whining about no one respecting you, cause that is just why no one does. You don't do anything about it, you just bitch and whine. Me, I'm doing something about it. I'm taking your belt, then crippling you. I know, I know, crippling is a little too extreme. But I've got to get a point across, and you're the unlucky one. PS: You might take this as a threat, but I know where Ninja X is after going through surgery, and if you piss me off enough, well, you know what I'm capable of. Your US title, is mine. Why? Cause I'm Joe Cool and I can.
