Since you decided to force yourself onto ICW's most beautiful diva, I've decided to force my lawyers upon you! Congratulations, assmonkey, you're being sued for endangering an ICW superstar!
Jonathan takes the paper and scans it in disbelief.
This is bullshit!! You can't do this to me. You'll get nothing out of me!
Well, I might not considering you're probably shit broke, but let's look at it this way. You're already going to be getting jailtime, and this is just going to take the cake. You were caught on camera, there's tons of witnesses. This isn't just your word against hers, which would actually make you lose right at that moment, this is The People of America vs your sorry ass! And every nickel and dime that we can take from you, be it your home or your car, we'll take, and put in AOM's next paycheck.
Look you ass. You may be the president of the ICW, but you've not no pull here! I'm richer than you can ever imagine. I've got a mansion in Las Vegas and in New York. You'll never get a dime out of me.
You? Rich? Not anymore, not after I'm done with you. And, just for the record, if you do happen to get out of this jail, and you do happen to try and get ahold of AOM and do something, if she and Rocket don't tear you apart...then I'm not going to slap a lawsuit on you, I'm going to flat out kick your ass...but hey, I'm not telling you anything, that you don't already know..
Jonathan sits down shocked, and he starts to yell out something else but Joe cuts him off by giving him the bird and walking out laughing. He looks into the camera and says something to AOM.
Hey Angel, he's loaded! Your paycheck is going to be HUGE! Now, I have to attend to C4 now, so feel free to play kissy-face with Rocketboy or whatever you two may have been doing...
Joe winks and grins.
Before you decided to watch this tape.
The scene opens back up at the Starbucks Joe was originally going to go to. He's sitting at a table drinking a latte when Josh hits record again for his promo to C4.
I think C4's promos are so retarded nowdays, don't you? So I've decided to freestyle a few lines just to show him that once again, he ain't nothin.
C4 you run your mouth again, do I look amused?
Damn, that gets easier and easier every time. And C4, you DO lower the value of my cards, unfortunately for me, you're under contract. I could fire you, but that's the cowards way out. While it's something you would do, I actually have class, so I don't resort to things like that. The reason you're main eventing with me? I don't know, maybe it is Joe Cool! He could carry a broomstick to a **** match. In fact, why don't you stay home Calon? I'll wrestle myself. Seriously, I could do it, and get beat up worse than you could ever hope to. I'm not stuck in this match with you, saying that makes it sound like I'm scared. Not even close, assmonkey. You're stuck in this match with me, because I do hold all the cards. There are some cards you can see, such as my neck injury, the fact this is main event on PPV, and there's the cards you can't see, which are up my sleeve. I don't mean cheating, because again, I'm not like you. I don't need to have someone use their finisher to win my match for me.
Didn't you know forgery was illegal? Tsk tsk tsk. C4 I thought you'd know better than that! And since when did a legal notice stop you from doing anything? Last time I checked your Heatstroke was just moved up to favorite moves, but it's still there on your movelist. Plain as day. You can say that I wrote that, you can say whatever you want, it's just words. The reason you don't do it, I don't know. Another thing, those fans weren't laughing with you, they were laughing at you. I don't expect my freestyles to be taken seriously, one of my favorite oxymorons is rap music! They're used mainly to mock you. Most ICW fans aren't stupid, that's why they boo when you come out. They realize when I'm rapping it's mainly to poke fun at you. Leave rapping to the professionals, I plan to because I know I can't do it. What do they call people like you, a wigga? I'm not up on ghetto lingo, I'll ask Greg Jackson sometime, he's hip.
How can you say me trying it was copyright infringement? Last time I checked both Ron Killings and John Cena have rapped on their way to the ring, so if anyone is "infringing" it's you! Do your insults make any sense anymore? I guess I shouldn't expect that much, look who I'm talking to. I don't want to be you, I'm perfectly happy being straight. OH! Midgits and fake porno pics of my wife!!! WOW! I'm impressed. With someone with the brain capacity of say, you, I'm sure that would offend. Let me show YOU something, I bought it for a nickel today.
You sound retarded off dope like you were Jason Mewes
Calaholics? Is that what your "fans" are supposed to be?
If they wanna be like you, they could sleep with Allura, get an STD
We knew you went back to her, bro, she's like a bug zapper!
You're too stupid to stay away, you like getting your nose in her trapper!
I've seen her at shows, fans would hold their noses from the stench
We wondered what the cause was, then we saw her dirty panties on a bench
You were ignoring me? Really I hadn't noticed
Putting promos up over and over, I guess this last one was a bonus
JJ said you remind him of Reaper, that's not hard to believe
You always try to hold others down, and always got a trick up your sleeve
You're obsessed with me, I'm an icon to you, a role model
Don't feel bad, everyone loves me, I'm just like Ray Romano
C4 man, I am gonna stop rhymin on you now son
I don't have to prove anymore that I am #1!
Joe pulls out a pic of Allura around 4 or 5 guys, all their private parts bleeped out.
Say, isn't that her mouth on that guys um...nevermind. See that guy in the picture, he saw her on TV and started selling these pictures saying he fucked a celebrity. He didn't know she's just a ho who has 15 minutes of fame, because she's trying to suck the heat from our fued like she sucked that guy! And that heat? It's all me! The fans are paying to see your ass get kicked C4. After all the shit you've put me through, they want to see you get yours because, simply put, you're a no-good son of a bitch, and all you're trying to do is make a name for yourself by beating me. Other guys have tried that, if you'll notice, they're struggling to keep their piece of shit federation open after I fired their asses. I'm a second rate Sean O'Haire? Who the fuck is Sean O'Haire? I don't watch too much indy wrestling.
Josh informs him that O'Haire is a guy in WWE.
Well I don't watch them either! They suck! C4, I called you Goldberg, for one reason and one reason only. You're not unbeatable, you just think you're the shit, when you're just plain shit. You have no talent, Goldberg has no talent. But enough of that, because Goldberg might hear this and want a contract just so I can kick his ass too! So I watch this "show" that by the way, had better be funded by you, Vines or Love, because otherwise it's being pulled. That shit is retarded. We have ourselves a slut, a bitch, and a whore. Plus we have you and your dumbass brother Evan Vines. Wow, we can rap! Let's rap on Joe Cool! C4, I hope you got more than rapping when we fight at Retaliation, because you won't be able to use your jaw once I finish punching it over and over til your blood is flowing freely onto my wrestling ring. Seriously, the more and more I listen to you talk, the more I realize that I have no risk of career injury. Thanks C4, instead of your promos cutting me down and lowering my self-esteem, they're actually raising it by showing me my lack of competition and how easy PPV will be!
Speaking of rings, you're married to a slut C4, so techincally you might as well not be married, I mean it's not to a woman anyway. You must be as slutty as her, trying to get in bed with AOM knowing you're having an affair. I bet you two go whoring around together, she probably lets you pick out the guys that will fuck both of you. I've already given a true diva a chance, several actually..they're all getting their chances to shine on PPV, while C4's dumbass wife can sit at home, probably on some guy's dick wishing C4's could be just like it.
C4, I don't need to watch my back, no one else does either. You can't do shit without a lead pipe in your hand, or some type of weapon. Why do you think you are Hardcore champion? There's a rule in ICW that one guy can't hold two singles titles, which is the legal reason you haven't recieved a title shot at anything else. You know you could drop that thing at any time and be able to be put in a #1 contenders match. But do you? No, because you know you can't use weapons to get an advantage. Well now you can't use weapons, it's regular rules..I've got you right where I want you, you're going to have to WRESTLE! Not fight, not rap, WRESTLE! You can't do that! You are talentless! So when those 60-minutes are over, my hand will be raised in the air. Sure, you may get your TJO(Token Jobber Offense) in, but otherwise I'll be the one to win. But hey, I'm not telling you anything, that you don't already know.
The scene fades as Joe drinks his latte and leaves the Starbucks laughing at his lack of competition at Retaliation.
