Ever wondered who you were in your previous incarnation on this planet? Even if the answer’s no, you may as well do the damn test anyway.
1. If you were a member of a manufactured band, you would be:
a) the lead singer (“all this publicity, all for me!”)
b) the rebel (“I shouldn’t be here – I’m way too hard for this band”)
c) the fat guy (“I’m just that talented!”)
d) the cute one (“Darn, I’m just so nice!”)
e) the comedian (“Wow, I’m just so crazy!”)
f) the other guy (“I’m not really interested in the fame. For me it’s about the music”)
2. Your motto:
a) “Look out for number one.”
b) “Die young. Stay pretty.”
c) “It’s what’s inside that counts.”
d) Motto? Who needs a motto? I just wanna be loved…
e) “What is life without laughter?”
f) “The background players are just as important.”
3. In relationships, you are:
a) worshipped
b) rarely all that bothered
c) extremely romantic
d) adored
e) constantly trying to amuse your other half
f) not usually noticed very much
4. What three words best describe you?
a) self-centred, popular … perfect
b) anarchic, non-conformist … self-destructive
c) poetic, creative … misunderstood
d) sweet, lovable … devious
e) entertaining, cheerful … desperate
f) unassuming, obliging …unnoticed … (everybody go awww…)
5. If you were food you would be:
a) a box of Belgian chocolates
b) beef steak (rare, still dripping with blood)
c) a weird-flavoured sauce
d) a lollipop
e) a custard pie
f) a loaf of bread
6. A stranger walks up to you in the street. They are most likely to say:
a) *gasp in wonder and fall to their knees*
b) “You’ve got a needle sticking out of your arm.”
c) “Penny for your thoughts…”
d) “I love you.”
e) “Weren’t you doing the Macarena in the Pig and Whistle last night?”
f) nothing. They’ll walk straight past.
7. And finally:
a) You are now compelled to love and worship me for all eternity. I am just that wonderful.
b) Me and my Harley are going to ride off recklessly into the night…
c) And now we come to the end, and we must part. Parting is such sweet sorrow…
d) Ah, thanks for that. That was really nice of you.
e) So this guy walks into a bar, right…
f) Bye.
Add up your score:
a) – 6 points
b) – 5 points
c) – 4 points
d) – 3 points
e) – 2 points
f) – 1 point
Click on your total to get your result. Or don’t, if you want, but if you don’t you’ve just wasted five minutes of your life that you won’t see again.