Indian Film Stars and their Answering Machines
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Amitabh - Han han mein chor hun, mein bazar mein kaladhandha 

karta hun, police ke record mein mera naam hai. Lekin mein 

akela nahin hun. Jao pahle ush admi ko msg de kar aao jisne

 mera baap ko chor kaha tha; Jao pahle ush admi ko msg de kar 

aao jisne meri maa ko gali deke naukri se nikal diya tha; 

jao pahle ush aadmi ko msg de kar aao jisne mere haath me yeh 

likh diya tha; Uske BAAD, Uske baad mere bhai tum jab chahoge 

tab mere m/c mein msg de dena. 

Dharmendra - Kutte Kaminey, Agar tuune apni maa ki doodh piya 

hai to message chodde, warana mein tujhe jinda nahin chodunga. 

AJIT's voicemail - Sari duniya mujhe white LION ke naamse 

janti hai, jabtak tum messages chhodoge hum bharat se bahut 

dur ja chuke honge, robert helicopter chalu karo !! 

Ajit : "Smart move". Phone kiya aapne baaahot aaachha kiya 

Apka nam chod dijiye aur Mona apka phone louta degi ! Please

 Hiron ki aawaj sunte hi record karna ! 

Shatru : jis haram-zade ne call kiya hain ... mein us 

haram-zade ko zinda nahi chodunga... jaan se maar dunga

Shatru - AAahoy ! Ye Chenu ka answering m/c hai ! Seedhi taraha 

se message chhod de warna mai teri haddi pasli ek kardunga, ! haaa

Shatru - Apne Mangal ko phone kiya hai, koi phate hue tash ke 

tirpanve patte ko nahin ! Nam chod dena Ham patta khud jaan lenge ! 

Raj Kumar : Jaani. Shisheke gharome rahane wale pathar nahi pheka
karate.Tum pathar mat pheko message chodo. Hum jara jaldi me hai. 

Jaani yeh answering machine koi bacchon ka khel nahi. hum ko 

mita sake woh tumahre msg mein dum nahi.... hum se hain ye m/c 

.. m/c se hum nahi.... 

Pran - PATHAN ki ansering m/c.... HUM tereku bola msg chod de 

warna hum pathan ka baccha tumara tangdi tod dega

Prem chopra - hum woh hain jo shishe ko patthar se katate hain.... 

aaapke msg ki iit ka jawab patthar se denge.... BTW: Mera Naam

 hai Pre'm, He he Pre'm Chopra 

KESTO - Ihhhiyaa ! saale message Chhod ! nahi to Batli de !! 

Ihhhiyaa! Jaldi kar HICH ! Apun ko janeka hai Ihhhiyaa ! ! 

hick! aay . hick! ye ansering hick! machine hick! msg .. 

Asrani - AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAA ! Phone kiya ! Tune phone kiya 

RRRRREEEEEE! Message rakh ! AAAAAAAAHHHHAAAAA ! 

Asrani -- adhe log 1 press karo.. adhe log 2 press karo... 

baki msg rakho.hum angrezon ke zamane ke jailar hain hA HAAAAAAA..

 msg angrezimein rakho.. HA HAAAAAAA

BINDU - Mera nam hai shabnam, pyar se log mujhe SHABBO kehate
hai...Tumhara naan kya hai !! Tina Mina, Anju, Manju Yaaa Madhuuu. 

Shakti - aaauu lalita, Message chhod deee ! warna teri maa ki jaaan
....Aaaauu lalita !! mera naam Balma... badriparsad lalanparsad
malapani... balma..Pyarasa... Nanhasa.. Chotasa ....Balmaa. Aur 

mere kane Chaku hai? 

Jeevan - Ooouuum ! Kya bandar ki tarah msg chodta hai tum ! Kya

is m/c me koi ladki hai kyaaa ! 

Mehmood - Kya bula tu. Mereku kya bola tu. Seedhi tarah se message
rakhaneko bola ... Aur tum muh pe kuphal daal kai baithta kya

Mehmood2 - ayyo dyevi . tum kitna khoobsoorat msg chchodta ji..

Aum yakdam pagal O jata ji, Aiyo Wanga, Ider Aana, ayyo BinduSSS

Gabbar - soovar ke bachcho . main ghar mein nahi hu. ab tera kya 

hoga re kalia? raat ko jab tej tej phone ki ghanti bajti hai to 

maa kehti hai msg chchod beta varna gabbar nahi sunega ... 

Yaad rahe Yaha se 50 50 mil kidoori par jab koi baccha rota hai

 to maa kahati hai "beta so ja nahi to
gabbar singh ka voice mail Bolega...." 

Basanti -yun ki hume jaada bukbuk karne ki aadat to hai nahi . 

agar mere liye msg hai to 1 dabana. agar mausi ke liye hai to 

2 dabana . agar veeru ke liye hai to dono dabana . yun ki hume

lamba msg rakhne ki aadat to hai
nahi... agar mere liye msg hai...to 1 dabana.......