Here's the untold secret of married life....!!!  - 

tell me If I am wrong - Sibasis

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic
tranquillity had long been the talk of the town. What a peaceful & loving
couple". A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their
long and happy marriage. 
"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the man." 
We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom on the canyon
by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled. 
My wife quietly said,"That's once". 
"We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again. 
Once more my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.' 
"We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled the third time. 
My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead. 
"I started an angry protest over her treat! ment of the horse, while I was
shouting; 
She looked at me, and quietly said, 'That's once'. 
"And we lived happily ever after " -------------------------------

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	Shelock Homes and Watson go camping.

	Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. 

 	As theylay down for the night,

	Holmes said: "Watson, look up into the sky and tell me

	        	          what you see".

	Watson said: "I see millions and millions of stars".

	Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"

	Watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions

         	of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

         	Theologically, it tells me that God is great

         	and that we are small and

         	Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have

         	a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

	Holmes: "Watson, you dickhead. Somebody stole our tent".       

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Children Property Laws.

1. If I like it, it's mine

2. If It's in my hand, it's mine

3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.

4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

5. If It's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.

6. If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.

7. If It looks just like mine, it's mine.

8. If I think it's mine, it's mine.

9. If It's yours and I steal it, it's mine.

10. If I ...

Wait a sec .. This isn't the Children's Property Laws, it's

Microsoft's Business Plan.

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If Microsoft Built Cars.

At a recent computer expo 1997? (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared

the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:  "If GM had kept

up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving

$25 cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."

GM release the following statement:

"Yes, but would you want car that crashed twice a day?" 

 The Above is true, the rest is fun! -Ed

     If Microsoft Built Cars

1.  For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.

2.  Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have

    to buy a new car.

3.  Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason,

    and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.

4.  Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would

    cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case

    you would have to reinstall the engine.

5.  Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought

    "Car95" or "CarNT" but then you would have to buy more seats.

6.  Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun,

    reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but

    would only run on 5% of the roads.

7.  The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would

    be replaced by a single "general car fault" warning light.

8.  New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

9.  The airbag system would say, "Are you sure?" before going off.

10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you

    out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lift the

    door handle, turn the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of

    Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they

    neither need them or want them.  Attempting to delete this option

    would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50%

    or more.  Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by

    the Justice Department.

12. Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to

    learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would

    operate in the same manner as the old car.

13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.

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