... Well, count yourself lucky that I can`t think of anything
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| Best scene in Ninja Squad: Gordon`s showdown with Ivan | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Gordon readies himself to fight Ivan, or I might`ve actually taken this screenshot from earlier in the film. I don`t think it really matters, because no matter what order you put the ninja scenes in, they`d probably make all the same amount of sense | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Ivan confronts Gordon at Falcon Ridge... Or Devil`s Valley. I can`t remember. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Ivan shows us how silly his hair is. Gordon probably feels awkward that his opponent has a comb-back. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| In this scene we see that Gordon doesn`t have a moustache. I mean, really, what`s the point in the film anymore? Gordon without a moustache is like the internet without porn; it defines his very existence! | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| The fight quickly begins with Ivan and Gordon throwing their swords at each other, knocking each other`s out of the air, and then catching it back in their sheath. Then they do it again but they backflip instead. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| After some more jumping about and stuff, Gordon kicks Ivan`s sword from his hand and all seems lost for the nefarious no-gooder.. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Think Ivan`s lost? Think again. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Ivan actually backflips to avoid Gordon`s sword, despite the fact that we can clearly see it`s going to go over his head. I suppose that`s what being a ninja is all about. Note that this is actually one of the more sensible ninja fights from the Gordon films I`ve seen. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| But Ivan`s not done in just yet...! | Now he is, though. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Ivan pulls a third sword from out of somewhere. Presumably from the same place Joseph Lai pulled out the script for this film: His arse. | While stabbing Ivan, Gordon twitches an eye in a manner I`ve not yet been able to successfully imitate in front of a mirror. Unfortunately it seems I`m never to achieve the rank of "Most Flamboyantly Dressed Ninja." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Having vanquished his maleficent foe, Gordon backflips and disappears... Bugger knows where to, though, as he seems to live where he fought Ivan. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| I`m sorry that this play-by-play wasn`t very good, but I was trying to stop a nosebleed purely with the power of my love for Maggie Cheung, and I had a song running through my head, and I was upset about Liveflayers in Star Ocean 2, and myriad of other poor and nonsensical excuses. Who cares, no one will read this anyway, so I suppose I can say whatever I like... ... Well, count yourself lucky that I can`t think of anything |
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