The gang is still wandering around the Rogue Encampment.  Thanks to Washu’s aid, mounopano has been able to increase the number of ALE members that can be ported into the world of Diablo through the use of his Beer-Electron Transmogrifier.  Sounds of passion are emanating (as usual) from Gheed’s Wagon.

Rahl_SoT: <bent over Charsi’s anvil>  Dammit, X-Slayer!  Just take those fucking quills out of my ass!  And for the last time:  I DO NOT NEED A PROSTATE EXAM!

X-Slayer: <defensively> Hey, man!  I’m just looking out for your health!  <under his breath> boy… what a nice can!

Rahl: What was that!?

X-Slayer:  Uh, uh… beer!  Yes!  A nice can of beer!

 A small group has gathered near the fire.  Among them are Linger, mounopano, Optimus, Washu, and Incubus reX, and Shaidar Haran.

Shaidar Haran: Ho ho ho!  Speaking of “quills,”  I sure gave Tatia quite a “sticking” the other night!  Ha ha! <takes large swig of Rogue Ale>

Linger: <rolls eyes> Yeah, Shaidar… we’ve all heard the story a dozen times, but I heard that it was more of a tiny little prick.

Shaidar: <scowling, points finger at Linger>  You just watch yourself. You wouldn’t win.  I have a death sentence in 12 systems.

Linger: <rolls eyes> ANYWAYS… at least Washu figured out how to tap the fuckin keg.

mounopano:  Yeah, I can’t believe that bastard Incubus had the nerve to try to say it was just water in there.

Rahl: <from across the Camp> YEEOOUCH!  GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE!

X-Slayer: Oops!  Slipped again!

Incubus:  See? That’s what he gets, the seedy bastard. He makes fun of my Quill Rat song, I told him to go get bent, and see what happened? He gets an assful of quills and X-Slayer.

Washu: Dammit, guys!  Show some decency!  There’s a lady present!

<All gathered look around, look at Washu, look at each other, then burst into laughter>

All:  Hahaha!  Hohoho!  Hardyharar!

Washu:  Heeheehee…  Hooo-weee!  Man, I kill me!

Linger: <weeping uncontrollably>  Harhar!  That’s a great one, Washu!  A-hooo…

Rahl:  So, Optimus!  How are things going over there?

Optimus: <very drunken… takes another swig from his tequila bottle> Oh, señores… me duelo mucho en la cabesa, pero voy a seguir bebiendo… me gusta el sabor de Los Hornitos… ¡es como el sabor de Dios!

Shaidar Haran: <claps Optimus on his back>  Ha ha!  What did I tell you, you silly bastard!  Drinking’s GOOD for you!  Liver damage, dead brain cells, impotence, impaired ability to operate a vehicle or heavy machinery?!?  WHATEVER!

 ‘99~3000GT and Bigun enter the Camp by way of the Waypoint.  They march triumphantly to the center of Camp.

Bigun: I say GODDAMN!  Was that ever fun!

‘99~3000GT:  Yep!  We did it!  With Bigun’s help, I finally killed the bitch!  <3K and Bigun exchange high-fives>

Linger:  Wait.  What?  You killed Idahochick?

3K:  Idahochick?  No, you ingrate!  We killed Blood Raven.  Although… never mind.

Washu:  Hey, speaking of Idahochick… what’s going on over in Gheed’s Wagon, being as how you just got back from the Burial Grounds?

3K:  Hmmm… that’s a good question.  Let’s go find out.

<The group tiptoes quietly over to Gheed’s Wagon, covering their mouths to keep from laughing at the sounds of climactic passion>

3K: <knocks on side of Wagon>  Oh, honey?  I’m home!

<rustling sounds emanate from Wagon along with hushed whispers, then Idahochick’s head appears, her hair mussed, and skin flushed>

Idahochick:  Oh, uh… hi darling. How may I help you?

3K:  <a little confused, and more than a little drunk>  Well, you can start by telling me what the hell’s going on in there!

Voice (strangely familiar and feminine) from inside Wagon: Idaho?  Is everything okay?

Optimus: ¡Ay ay ay!  ¡Yo lo reconozco!  Es…es…

Tatia pokes her head out from inside the Wagon.  She looks to be in the same “condition” as Idahochick.

Tatia: Hey, boys!  What’s goin on, eh?

<All of the men pass out>

Tatia:  Well, I guess it’s just you and me again, Idaho! <drags Idaho back into Wagon>

Gheed:  Oh, no!  Not again! Will you guys at least Febreze it when you’re done?

Rahl and X-Slayer walk over to the wagon, Rahl rubbing his bandaged ass.

Rahl:  Wow… well, I guess Shaidar was right.  After a night with him, Tatia didn’t ever want another man!

Rahl and X-Slayer:  Hahaha!  Harharhar!  Ahhhh…

 Thus we arrive at the end of yet another riveting episode of the ALE Tales.  What will become of the new-found love between Tatia and Idahochick?  Will Shaidar’s and ‘99~3000GT’s egos be forever damaged?  Is X-Slayer a licensed proctologist?  Does Rahl care?  Tune in for the next stunning chapter in the ALE saga to find out!