Linger: When the hell are we going to be there?  This shit just keeps going and going!

Incubus reX: Dude, shut the fuck up.  We'll be in Vegas soon enough.

X-Slayer:  Yeah… isn't this your fucking country anyway?  At least we're safe from the bears up here.

Bear:  GROWL!  <eats X-Slayer’s pants>

X-Slayer:  Hey, wait just a sec!  There was BEER in those pants <bludgeons bear repeatedly with airline “almonds”>

Shaidar Haran:  Stewardess!  Where the fuck are my free Dewer’s samples?

Stewardess:  I'm sorry, sir, but you already drank them.

Shaidar:  Are you copping an attitude, bitch?  Besides, those were, uh… those were Linger’s.

mounopano:  It's fine, Shaidar.  I've just completed my Airline Alcohol Sample Replicator.  Soon, we'll have all the 1.5 ounce bottles of booze we can handle!

EtherDragon:  Wouldn't it just make sense to replicate full-size bottles instead?

mouno: <imitating ED> wouldn't it just… shut the fuck up.  Who asked you, and why the fuck are you on the god damned plane, anyway?

ED: <goes to sulk in the rear smoking section>

mouno: Good riddance.  <hunches intently over his machine, and begins replicating drinks>

Linger: Moun, that was kind of a dick move, you know…

Shaidar:  Shhhh!  That's more free samples for the rest of us!

Incubus:  Shaidar, do you just not grasp what Mouno’s doing?

Shaidar: Does it involve me getting alcohol?

Incubus: <rolls eyes> Yes, I suppose it does.

Shaidar: That's all I needed to know <starts stuffing pockets with replicated booze bottles>.

STORMBRINGER: You know, I've noticed that this plane is in many ways far inferior to the planes of other companies, like iD or Westwood for example, but, I suppose I've been dealing with it for years now, so I'm in it for the long haul.

Incubus:  Are you talking, STORM?  Because, really, it sounds like a fucking cow farting of something, with all the bullshit you're spewing.

STORM:  Well, you have to admit that other companies have spoiled us with leather seats, HD TVs on every chair, and free 750 ml bottles of alcohol.  You'd think that Blizzard would try to maintain its ill-gotten reputation… but, oh---- <Dixie smashes STORM with “Salisbury Steak”>

Pixie:  Dammit, Dixie!  Who let you out of the luggage compartment?

Linger: It's cool, P&D.  STORM was beginning to bug, anyway.

Incubus:  I’ll second that shit.  Now, pass the hard stuff, Shaidar.

Shaidar: <immediately angered> My jeweled turban, I will.  Get your own.

Optimus: ¡Señores!  ¡Me pasen el tequila ahorita!

Shaidar: ¿Y quieres chupar mi verga tambien?

Airplane Captain:  <static> Uh, folks, we're experiencing some turbulence—

Shaidar:  Yeah, ‘cuz these fuckers keep trying to take my liquor.

Captain: It's most likely caused by an extreme amount of weight concentrated in Tatia’s ass!  Haha!  Just a little aviation related humor for----archhrachhh!

Tatia: <emerges from cockpit with broken and bloody alcohol bottle > That will teach—

Linger:  Uh, Tatia… who's flying the plane?  You know, being as how you just off'd the pilot?

Tatia:  Well, good question.  It was undeniably worth it, though.

Shaidar:  <drunkenly waves a bottle over his head> Show ‘em what for!

Captain: <struggling out of cockpit, bleeding profusely from various bottle wounds> Well, at least you can use Tatia’s dress as a parachute! <gags and collapses>

Tatia:  Fucker!  <kicks living shit (or dying shit) out of pilot, leaving a bloody, crumpled, vaguely pilot-looking mass on floor>

Optimus:  Creo que necesitamos pensar en un manera para escapar esta situacion.

Incubus:  Who died and made you Castro, fucker?

Optimus: <retreats to rear smoking area> Lo siento…

Incubus:  That’s what I thought, “vato.”

EtherDragon:  <moseying up to front with flight goggles on> Well, I’ll see you ungrateful bastards later.

Optimus:  <strapped to ED’s back>Yo tambien.  ¡Les voy a ver en el Infierno, putos!  <the two of them jump out of the Emergency Exit, leaving the rest of the passengers to fend for themselves>

X-Slayer: Well, we’re suitably fucked, unless mouno can invent some kind of ALE-member-saving apparatus within about the next 7 minutes.

Shaidar:  Fuck you guys!  I can fly!  Come on, Tatia. <jumps out after ED and Optimus with Tatia at his hip>

Remaining ALE members: <laughing, clapping each other on the back>  Hoho!  That's our fearless leader!  Always having fun!

X-Slayer: Okay, Shaidar, you can stop the games now.  Haha! Uh, Shaidar? <looks out of window, sees Shaidar far below>

Linger:  Well, I'm sure we'll think of something… in the meantime, let's drink!

ALE members: Cheers!  <open various bottles of sample alcohol and begin drinking like there's no tomorrow… which might just be the case>

 What will become of the stranded ALE members?  Will Shaidar return to save his fellows?  Will Tatia “reward” Shaidar for saving her life (please?  please?)?  Tune in next time for another suspense/ beer-filled episode of A Day at the ALE Pub!