(The ALE pub, now significantly more crowded than a few months before, is in a glum mood.  All are present save for Mouno, Optimus and Tatia.)

Shaidar:  I can't believe not one of us made it into the beta.

X-Slayer:  We should start a petition or something!  It's just not right!!

Pixie:  I don't know X, that's sounds dangerously like work.
Dixie: We want the beta too, but I don't want to break the bylaws by (shudders) making an effort.

Linger:  It seems like we need some sort of zany plan, that seems like the ALE thing to do.

(Suddenly in bursts Mounopano, followed by Optimus)

Mouno:  I did it!  I'm a genius!

Etherdragon:  I get goose bumps whenever he says that.

Mouno:  Thanks to my acute scientific knowledge, I have given Optimus a voice.

Mo'gons: Me like Optimus, the way him ways.  Rest of you talk to much.

Mouno:  Behold Optimus's new voice.

Optimus: ¡Yo Hablo! Hola, mi amigos.

Incubus:  What the hell, man?  He only speaks Spanish.

Dark Acid:  Yeah, and he doesn't even speak really good spanish, he sounds like a first year dropout

Mouno: So there are still a few bugs to be worked out!

Optimus: Yo quiero una cervesa.

Bigun: (pouring Optimus a beer)  I understood that part at least!  Well Linger, what was it you were saying about a zany plan?

Linger:  I was thinking that if we had some idea of where Blizzard was keeping Diablo 2, maybe we could just break in and get it.

Dark Magus:  Hmmm, sounds impossible, even if we did know where it was.

Voice:  NOT AS IMPOSSIBLE AS YOU THINK OLD MAN!

(the ALE Members turn to see the silhouette of an imposing figure.  Lightning strikes behind, revealing a woman clad in green silks)

Pixie:  Oh hi Tatia!
Dixie:  That's funny I don't remember there being a storm outside.

Tatia: Silence!  I have discovered where Blizzard keeps Diablo 2, it can be found deep inside their Lair of Doom.  It rests atop the pillar of the damned, surrounded by fiendish traps, and worse yet, Blizzard P.R. reps!

Hot Lips:  Wow, how did you find this out Tatia?

Tatia:  The cockroaches told me

Optimus: ¿Tu hablas con los cucarachas? Eeeew!

Billy Boney:  Aargh me mateys, it sounds like a terrifying tale to be sure!

Linger:  Yeah, but it sound just zany enough to be an ALE activity.

Shaidar:  Let's do it.  But first, LET'S GET TOASTED!

All: Hooray!

(Will ALE finally have a chance to get Diablo 2?  Will Optimus ever learn English?  Will Linger try once again to install hidden cameras in the women's bathroom?  Tune in next time for another installment of A Day at the ALE Pub!

go to the previous Day At the ALE Pub: Night of the PK Dwarves!