(The Scene:  A small barracks full of bunks, each containing an ALE member.  The Blaring sound of a trumpet rings out, the ALE members slowly stumble out of bed)

Shaidar:  God, where the hell are we this time?

Pixie:  I don't know, but it's too bright to be the Pub
Dixie:  And too clean to be a motel

Tatia:  Does anyone remember last night?

Mouno:  I seem to remember, we were talking about the Diablo 2 expansion pack.  And then Washu mentioned we should get in a little more training before we left for the Mountains and now we're...where are we?

(suddenly the door bursts open and in stomps a massive barbarian clothed only in a loin cloth and a drill sergeant hat)

Sgt Thak:  Rise and shine ladies, drop your socks and grab your cocks.  I'm Drill Instructor Thak.  Welcome to Barbarian Boot Camp!

Mo'gons:  I would like to pass motion that we never, ever listen to Washu again.

ALE Members:  Motion carried

(Meanwhile, a few miles away.  Incubus reX and X-Slayer have stumbled into a far worse predicament)

Incubus:  X-Slayer where the hell are we?

Brother Jim:  Welcome my friends, to God's house.  We shall help you find oneness with the Lord.

X-Slayer:  Oh no, Incubus I know this place.

Incubus:  Are we in hell?

X-Slayer:  Worse

Incubus:  an AA meeting?

X-Slayer:  Worse, it's Paladin boot camp!

Brother Jim:  have you found Jesus in your heart?

Incubus:  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(meanwhile back at Barbarian Boot Camp)

Sgt Thak:  You will march when I say march, eat when I say eat, and shit when I say shit. If I say jump you say how high?  Do you get me?!

Washu:  That's a real spiffy hat.

Sgt. Thak:  What did you say?!

3000gt:  Look, I think there's been some kind of mistake here.

Sgt. Thak:  You're right there's been a mistake, if you maggots think you can survive one day in my boot camp!

Shaidar:  Well that's just the thing.  We don't think we'll survive a day.  In fact, most of us will die if we don't get alcohol into our systems in about ten minutes.  So how about just letting us go.

Sgt. Thak:  You don't get off that easy maggot.  You signed a ten year contract.  Your ass is mine

(The ALE Members turn and glare at Washu, who stares back sheepishly and waves)

(Meanwhile back at the other side of the base)

Paladins:  RINGING IN THE SHEAVES, RINGING IN THE SHEAVES

Incubus:  What the fuck have you gotten us into?!

X-Slayer:  Hey, you think I want to be back here?  I flunked out the first time.

Incubus:  You flunked out?  Then you're not a real Paladin?

X-Slayer:  I don't need a piece of paper to say what I am.

Brother Jim:  Would you two like to lead prayer?

Incubus:  Look bud, there's been a terrible mistake.  So how about you and your robed friends just show me the exit.

Brother Jim:  You're not in the spirit! I think someone needs some time in the re-education room.

(several paladins jump up and grab X-Slayer and Incubus)

X-Slayer:  No, no please, NOT THAT!!! NOT THAT!!!

Incubus:  Wait, where are they taking us?!

X-Slayer:  Ever seen that part in Cockwork Orange where they pry the guy's eyes open and force him to watch terrible images on a TV screen?

Incubus:  Yeah.

X-Slayer:  Well it's like that, only with Tammy Fay Baker tele-thons.

Both: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!

Will Incubus and X-Slayer survive their dastardly torture?!  Will Shaidar be able to talk himself out of Barbarian Boot Camp?  Will Idahochick actually get some lines in the next episode?! All this and more in the next edition of A DAY AT THE ALE PUB!