Episode 33
33 Hamilton Inn � Bermuda � Dynamite Diner Sunday December 29, 2008 12:00pm Julian and Rebecca are eating lunch in the Dynamite Diner Julian: And what were you up to last night, my little pet? Rebecca: Why what ever do you mean, pookster? Julian: Oh don�t give me that crap, I hardly even saw you yesterday. Who�ve you been sleeping around with now? Rebecca: Julian� Get a life. What I do is none of your business. And even if I were sleeping around, it�d sure be with somebody who was � able. Julian: You�re having sex with other men just because I�m not� horny enough? Rebecca: Eat your salad. Julian: Oh� I�ve got something better. (Julian slips down under the table) Rebecca: Julian, what are you doing? (Julian purrs like a kitty cat) Rebecca: What the hell. (Pause) Oh�. Ooooh. OH!!! (Everyone in the diner looks at her) Rebecca: (Shy laugh, she purposely drops her napkin under the table) Oh. Oops� I dropped my napperkin. I had better find it. (She slips under the table) (Luis walks past the table and over to the counter) Waiter: What can I get you sir? Luis: Can I have a chicken noodle soup, please. And a small diet coke. Waiter: Sure. (The waiter fills the bowl with Soup) Waiter: Soup. (The waiter picks up a cup for the coke and Luis stares at it, he has flashes of the cup that was in Sheridan�s hand when he found her dead. The same cup.) (Luis shakes) Waiter: Is something wrong sir? (Putting the coke down) Luis: Um. How much sugar is in that diet coke? Waiter: Um� I�m guessing ZERO. Yeah see� it�s diet. Luis: Alright. I was just asking, bitch. (He takes the soup and the coke) (Luis walks past the table that Rebecca and Julian are fooling around under) Rebecca: AHH!! Julian, put that back! Julian: No! Leave it out! (Kay, Miguel, and Billy walk past the table) Miguel: Oh, let�s sit at this table. (They all sit down at the table that Julian and Rebecca are at.) Waiter: What can I get you guys? Kay: Banana shake! Billy: Water. Miguel: Coke. Waiter: Okay, wait here. (Walking away) Kay: Where else would we go? (Being smart) Waiter: I heard that. Kay: Yeah. I know! Waiter: You know what. Since you are our 500,000,000 customer. You get a free cheeseburger. Kay: Oh. Sweet. Waiter: Here. Eat it! (She takes the hamburger off her tray and shoves it in Kay�s mouth) Waiter: Eat it! Eat it! Eat it! Julian: I am� Kay: Get it out! Get it out! Miguel: (Jumping to move the waiter) Get off her! Billy: What is wrong with you? (The waiter settles) Kay: (Pulling tomatoes off her face) I want to talk to the manager. Billy: Yes. Get us the manager! Waiter: Okay. Wait here please. Miguel: And get are freaking drinks on the way back! (The waiter turns around and gives him the middle finger) (Everyone�s jaws drop) Billy: Can you believe that lady? Kay: I should sue. Miguel: Don�t worry about that, we�ll talk to the manager and hopefully she�ll get fired. (The waiter comes back) Kay: Where the hell is the manager? Waiter: Hello. I�m the manager of Dynamite Diner, how may I help you? Kay: No. You�re not the manager. (The waiter points to the name tag) Billy: You just switched nametags! Waiter: No. I don�t know what you�re talking about. Miguel: You know what, lets get out of here! Kay: Yeah, the service here sucks! Waiter: No! Don�t leave. We�re sorry. We�ll get you whatever you want, on the house! I�ll be right back! Billy: That was crazy. Miguel: I know. Kay: Um. Guys. Billy: What? Kay: I just felt something slither across my foot. Miguel: Don�t tell me this place has snakes! Kay: Oh. Billy, will you look. Please. Miguel: I�ll look. (Miguel lifts the table cloth up and looks under, he drops it) Oh it�s just old people having sex. OLD PEOPLE HAVING SEX??? What? (They all lift the table cloth up) Rebecca: Okay� peeping toms. If you want to watch, we would have made you a tape. Julian: Close that tablecloth dammit! It�s ruining my horniness. (They all drop the table cloth) Kay: EWW. Waiter: Here�s all of what you ordered! Kay: It�s about time! Oh, are you the manager of that rude bitch who shoved a 2 ton hamburger down my throat? Waiter: I�m that rude bitch who shoved a 2 ton hamburger down your throat, oh and by the way. I know you ratted me out to my boss and don�t expect you banana split to be 100% banana. And as for that coke� lets just say there are ways for girls to stand up and pee. Oh (looking at Billy) and just because your water is clear� don�t think your safe. Thankyou for dining at Dynamite Diner, enjoy! (She walks away) (Kay sniffs her banana shake) Julian: Can you leave now? Kay, Miguel & Billy: Leaving! (The get up and leave) Meanwhile @ The Beach House Jeff: Where�s Hank? Todd: I don�t know. Work? Jeff: He doesn�t work on Sundays! Todd: Well, I don�t know. Jeff: Well he better be here tonight for the Reunion! Or else days of planning will go down the drain. Todd: What exactly do you plan to do? Jeff: You�ll find out tonight man. All tonight! HAHAHA! Todd: I�m going out for a while. Jeff: Where to? Todd: No Where special. Jeff: Well, good. I have to take care of something anyway. Todd: Seeyah. (He leaves) (Jeff slowly walks upstairs to the door of his bedroom) Jeff: (Putting his hand on the knob) I�ll check on that later! I think I�ll snoop around Hank�s room for a little bit. (He goes into Hank�s room, he walks toward his bed and feels under the mattress for something) Jeff: Ah ha! (He pulls out a journal, he begins reading the updated page) Journal: Dear Journal, I can�t believe what I did. I murdered a woman! What is wrong with me? Am I abnormal? Am I human? What�s wrong with me? But I guess I did it all of Luis. I�m hoping to be with him before the week is over. I just bought a condom for Sunday night� I hope Luis loves me like I love him. I would do anything!!! Jeff: Him. So the ol� homo plans to have sex with this guy tonight. He has no chance if he�s straight. Not to mention Hank will be busy tonight at the reunion. The dumbass has no clue what�s coming to him! (He shuts the journal and slips it back under the mattress) (Jeffs cell rings) Jeff: Hello? Hank: Jeff! Hey man, what�s happening? Jeff: Hank, I�m so glad you called! Where are you? Hank: I�m at my friend Luis�s. I stayed the night. Jeff: Oh really. Listen Hank, Don�t forget about our big Fraternity Reunion tonight. Hank: Oh. Sure. I won�t. I�ll be there tonight� but a little later. I got something planned. Do you think I could bring Luis? Jeff: He�s a cop right? Hank: Yeah. Jeff: Actually, this is just for our frat. So� no. Luis is gonna have to stay home. Hank: Okay. Jeff: Why are you calling? Hank: My wallet is there. There�s something I need out of it. Could you bring it to his apartment? Jeff: Sure. I�ll be there! Bye. (He hangs up)
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