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| Part 1 - Sweet Dreams Sweet dreams are made of this - Who am I to disagree - I travelled the world and the seven seas - Everybody's looking for something ? Eurythmics Last night I had the strangest dream - or was it a dream at all? Maybe you can explain what happened to me ... In this dream I abruptly awoke from my sleep in the middle of the night. I was startled when I suddenly realized that somebody or something was in my room. My body became tense, cold fear rising in me. I tried to open my eyes but somehow I couldn't. I felt paralysed: My God, what's going on here? "Ssshhh, you must not be afraid", I heard a voice in my head. So soft and soothing was this voice that I calmed down a bit. Finally, I managed to open my eyes. From the shadowy corner near the window a figure was rising from the old chair. With smooth elegant movements he was approaching me. Yes, it was a man, a tall and slender man. Like a dancer he moved. Long dark hair was flowing down his shoulders. In this moment the moon had wandered around the house and its full light shone through the long windows. It was then that I saw his face. I gasped. He looked pale, unnaturally pale. Not like a man, but like those old statues I had once tried to fix on paper in galleries or museums. His face a sublime white like the faces of those sculptures made of marble or alabaster. But this was not a statue, definitely not, he was moving - breathing. And his eyes - no, they were not closed like the eyes of those marble gods or heroes - they were shining even in this darkness - a brilliant green. "Are you ... are you a ghost?" I stuttered hoarsely. He smiled, a bit amused. "No, I am certainly not a ghost. Look at me, I am flesh and blood like you, although ... " A word came up from the depths of my memories, out of long-forgotten childhood tales of mystery and imagination. "You, you're a ...?" I did not dare to say it loud, lest that all of a sudden his beautiful face might change into a terrifying grimace. "What do you want from me?" "As I said, you do not have to be afraid. I did not come for your blood ..." I swallowed hard: "No?" "No, I have been watching you for quite a while now ..." "You've been watching me? Have you been here - before?" Again there was this eerie feeling: What could this creature possibly want from me? "I have seen your paintings and sculptures at an exhibition down in Toulouse. And I became curious about the person who created them. I really admire your art. There is so much strength and - passion in your work. You must know these are qualities I have almost lost." He sighed. "You saw a ghost in me and, yes, it is true. All those years I have lived like a ghost. I could not come to terms with my guilt, with the loss of someone I dearly loved. I even wanted to put an end to all my pain and despair. However, my friends, they brought me back. They made me even stronger than before and I truly enjoyed their company, their friendship, their love... But, you know, with our kind we seldom stay together for a longer period of time. Sooner or later we'll separate and go our own ways ..." he seemed to drift off into his memories. While he had spoken he had sat down on the bed beside me so I could study his face. Such an exquisite face! As an artist I had always been in love with beauty. Be it the beauty of nature or beauty made by man or the beauty I saw here. My fears were vanishing. Could there really be a monster hiding behind those thoughtful tranquil green eyes? "Don't loose yourself in romantic delusions" he answered apparently having read my thoughts. "That's what mortals always do. They fall in love with our mysterious beauty, they ..." "Yes, I can understand that", I said letting my gaze wander over his marvellous slender body, but it surely was not the detached glance of an artist. "But I do not see evil when I look into your eyes. No! There is a dark secret, there is pain and there is a longing ..." He looked up and a few strands of his shimmering midnight hair fell over his face. I could not help but sweeping them aside ever so carefully. "Yes, I believe that you did not come for my blood, you are looking for something different, isn't that so?" My fingers trembled imperceptibly as I laid my hand on his cold face, feeling the delicate curve of his prominent cheekbones: "After all that you've been through you wanted to be at peace, finally. But now that peace and quiet have become something you can no longer endure. You want to feel life again. You want to find a way to rejoin the world, the world from which you separated yourself so long ago". He stared at me with an unbelieving expression, his emerald eyes darkening: "How can you speak to me like this? How do you know? You certainly cannot read my mind!". "No, but I can read in your eyes and I can read from your lips ..." I could not avert my glance from those iridescent eyes, I could loose myself there! Yes, this must have been a dream - in the real world I would have never dared to touch this man's pale lips. All my fears were suddenly gone, instead I felt an overwhelming desire rise in me, the irresistible longing to kiss the sadness away from this beautiful mouth. "Do not be afraid", I whispered. And holding his face in my hands I closed my lips on his. It was like kissing a living statue and it was also something completely different. When I touched his silky lips the world around me was annihilated. I shivered - this kiss was the purest pleasure I had ever felt in my life as the statue was coming to life and kissed me back: "Yes, kiss me, hold me, " I sighed. "No!" he turned away from me. "This cannot be!" He pushed me down on the bed so violently that the old t-shirt I had worn was completely torn at the front. Helpless I lay there, motionless, breathing hard. Exquisite weakness. I was almost naked - the ragged t-shirt exposing more of my body than it did cover. I stared at him and I saw the desire in his eyes, too. "You don't know the danger you're in, "he uttered under his breath, trying hard to regain control over himself. I could not speak, I could only look at him, my eyes pleading, praying, begging for more. "Ahhh, you cannot imagine how beautiful you look to me," he whispered and let his delicate fingers run over my naked skin where the t-shirt was torn apart. He placed a gentle kiss on my throat piercing my skin with his sharp teeth only so slightly. But then he stopped again. "No, this time it will be - different". His face was only inches from mine. His voice was raw and tender: "I am not sure whether I can please you in the way you'd like me to, but ...,"he let his mouth wander to down from my throat to my nipples:" but I try ..." His tongue was caressing me delicately and again I felt the small sharp prick of his teeth. Oh, how he inflamed me! It didn't take him long to make me writhe with pleasure, my body shivering under his caresses. But I wanted to feel him, too. I longed to touch his cold and hard body all over. "Take your clothes off, I whispered, my voice hardly audible. He rose and stared at me - hesitating. "Please, do it. I want to feel you, I want to touch - that cool skin of yours." Taking his time he unbuttoned his faded white shirt, a small smile on his lips. "You know it's quite some time now since I have been last into this ..." Carelessly, he let the shirt drop to the floor and peeled himself slowly, very slowly, out of his faded jeans, his eyes never leaving mine. "But you still know how to seduce someone," I smiled back devouring his tall and slender body with my eyes. Again, I had to think of those wonderful alabaster statues, but in one essential point he was surely quite different. The artist who would have dared to present an antique god or hero in such a state of excitement would surely have been condemned because of pornographic sacrilege. "Now, let me see what I can do to please you, " I muttered, taking his hands and drawing him up to the bed. I kissed my way from his neck down to the sharp bones of his hips, letting my hands roam his athletic torso, his well-muscled thighs, his taut balls. His eyes were closed. "Yes, "he murmured, "yes, I think I like that". "And what about this?", I asked letting my tongue slowly glide over the length of his striking erection, sucking the delicate flesh, tasting that delicious hardness. I couldn't get enough of him! He did not answer me then. His eyes remained closed, but he was obviously enjoying my endeavours. His breath was coming harder now, his hands entwined in my hair urging me to continue. The little sighs which escaped his lips were music to my ears. But the desire to feel him inside me, to be taken and filled by him completely became unendurable. And, as if he could read my thoughts, he gripped my buttocks firmly - scratching them with his sharp nails - ah, that delicate pain! - and rolled me on my back. Slowly, seductively he licked his middle fingers . Oh, how wished he would suck my cock like this, but apparently he had other plans. His hands moved over my thighs opening them wide for him and then he started probing my tight little opening, gently at first, but more and more demanding after that. I moaned as I felt his expert fingers widening me. The pain was gone quickly, instead I wanted him, wanted him so much ... "Ah, yes, and I want you," he replied and his voice was tense with excitement. With one swift movement he flung my legs over his shoulders and then he entered me with such force that - although I had wanted this more than anything in the world - I screamed. "Are you hurt?" he whispered. But I was no longer able to answer him. I was writhing under him, raising my hips and trying to catch up with his accelerating rhythm. We were lost then, completely lost. Working each other harder and harder, groaning, sweating, becoming more and more absorbed in this wild dance of unspeakable pleasure. Suddenly he stopped and changed his rhythm, moving inside of me with indefinite care. Sublime torture this! I was pleading for absolution and on the other hand I never wanted him to stop. "I love you", I moaned. He did not answer me but claimed my mouth again roughly and at the same time he was pushing me further and further: I was burning - this was oblivion! And so it was for him - he could no longer hold back and sank his teeth into my neck. Wave upon wave of pure ecstasy passed through my body - I don't know how long this lasted - seconds, minutes - I was outside of time. When I was on the brink of coming in a flash another man's face appeared in my mind. Blue-grey eyes, a wild mane of blond hair. A knowing smile on his lips. "This is my present for you,, mon amour. Enjoy!" And his words were like kisses. I could have died then. And so great was my abandonment and ecstasy that it would not have mattered to me. But he did not kill me. Some time or other I felt him withdraw his teeth and piece by piece the real world materialized again around me. I could still feel his body against mine, his hands resting on my cock, on my abdomen which was still wet where I had spent myself. I put my arms around him and I sighed and I felt like laughing and crying at the same time: "Oh, what have you done to me?" He kissed my eyelids tenderly. His smile was an expression of pure joy: "Don't you see what you have done to me? I shared your rapture completely, but I did not take your life. I did not have to! Can you understand what this means to me? Some of us call it the "little drink" but I always had to drink up my victims' lives. Oh, this is such a present". "A present - from your blond-haired lover?" I asked. "Yes, he gave my life back to me and even more than that. I didn't realize that until now. I do not have to kill any longer!" However, all of a sudden his face became troubled again: "But what about you? I never meant to reveal myself to you ... in this way." I had to smile. " I have seen quite a lot of things in my life. And I have found a way to deal with the extremes. Passion and pain, misery and joy - they are at the core of my art. Even if I will never see you again in my life - it is such a present having met you, having made love to you. You will be a source of inspiration to me which will never leave me". Again I took his face in my hands. "Your face, your eyes, the true soul of you will be engraved in my heart forever". Once more he rained kisses on my face and my mouth, kisses of sheer happiness. "Will you allow me to lie by your side until it's time for me to go?" he asked. "I'd love that," I answered. "Although if you go on kissing me like that. I#m sure I will want more from you than that". I remember him lying next to me, laughing again, snuggling against my back and embracing me from behind protectively. I must have fallen asleep then. When I woke up in the morning, the sun was shining on my face. I woke up with the feeling of complete happiness. At once I remembered the dream. Oh, what a dream that had been! I could still feel his hands all over my body. I could still feel him inside of me ... But, naturally, I was lying all alone in my bed. True, the bed was in a state of complete disorder and I found myself naked under the covers. However, traces of a lover - be it mortal or preternatural - could not be found anywhere. I have a vivid imagination , haven't I? And it had been such a warm spring night ... where's that old t-shirt? But his face, I can clearly see before me this lovely angular face, these sparkling green eyes! Now, I think I'll start working on a new picture today. Yes, I feel I must do that. A name suddenly came up to my mind. See, I already have a title for it: "Louis". |
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