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| Blind Guy |
| A blind guy sitting on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender is blonde and the bouncer is blond. I'm a 6' tall, 200-pound black belt veteren of the Special Forces. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6' 5", pushing 300-pounds and is a wrestler. Each one of us is blond. Think about it mister. You still wanna tell that joke?" The blind guy thinks a moment and replies, "Nah, not if I'm going to have to explain it five times." |
| Did you hear about the blonde that............. Took her scarf back to the store because she said it was too tight Said she couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a slope on the lake. Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in six months, and the box said "2 to 4 years" Couldn't call 911 because she doesn't have an "11" on her phone. Can't make kool-aid because 8 cups of water won't fit in those little packages. Got hurt raking leaves------she fell out of the tree. Changes the babies diaper only once a month because the package says up to 20 pounds. |
| The Blonde Wife |
| A wife and her husband got into a huge fight. When he went into their bedroom, she had a gun to her head. She was chuckling, and he asked her what she was laughing at. She replied, "You're next!" |
| I knew she was a true blond because.... *she semt me a fax with a stamp on it. *she though a quarterback was a refund. *she thought that Boys II Men was a day care center. *she thought that Meow Mix was a CD for cats. *she tried to drown a fish. *she tripped over a cordless phone. *she got stabbed in a shoot-out. *it took her two hours to watch "60 Minutes" *she studied for a blood test and failed. *she sold her car for gas money! *when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved. *she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company. *when she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "airport left", she turned around and went home. *she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death. |
| Blonde Leapers A police officer arrives at an accident scene where apparently three blondes have lept to their death from a tall building. He suddenly noticed that one of the girls was still breathing, so he approaches her and asks, "why did you three beutiful girls leap out of that building?" The blonde answers in a very weak voice, " We wanted to try out our new maxi pads, with wings." |
| Blond Jokes!!! (I hope i don't offend anyone by them) |
| Three Blondes Three blondes were walking in the woods, when they almost stepped in something. The first blonde looks down.... "It looks and smells like poop!" The second one picks it up, "Yeah, feels like poop!" The third one tastes it, and says, "It tastes like poop!" Then she adds, "Good thing we didn't step in it!" |
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| The Mirror A brunette, redhead and blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation. After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decide to visit the ladies forrm and found a strande looking woman sitting at the entrance, and she said, "Welcome to the ladies room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror which, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be awarded with a wish. But, be warned, for if you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!" The three women quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, the brunette said, "I think I am the most beutiful of us three," and in an instant she was surrounded by a pile of money. The redhead stepped up and said, "I think I'm the most talented of us three," and she suddenly found the keys to a brand new Lexus in her hand. Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, the blonde looked into the mirror and said, "I think..." and was promptly sucked into the mirror. |
| Cell Phone A young man bought his blonde wife a cell phone for their first wedding anniversary. She was thrilled. The next day at the mall, her phone rang. "Hi Honey. How do you like you new phone?" he asked. I love it," she replied, "But there's just one thing i don't understand." "What's that Baby? "How in the heck did you know I was at Wallmart?" |
| Down to the River A blonde was down at the river, and was trying to decide how to cross the river. She saw another blonde on the other side and said,"HEY! can you help me get across the river?" The other blonde says, "Silly, you are on the other side!" |