My Quotable Quotes

As a writer, I've been quoted many times in many places. I list some of my quotes below.

The down side to being the resident reporter in Hell is that nobody ever wants to hear the weather report.
To the guys who keep coming to me with major crises that involve my giving them money: your major crises are disappearing up your noses. Daddy's cutting you off now.
There are so many free meals offered in DC during the holidays that a homeless person has to worry about needing to join Weight Watchers.
So you're in an open relationship and want to play? What's your game, Old Maid? It must be if you chose a lame excuse such as an open relationship to keep you from ending up the old maid!
To guys who use the excuse "You seem too good for me," or "You looked stuck up": stop making excuses. Approach me! I don't bite!
It sucks not having a relationship, but it sucks even more to be in a relationship with the wrong person. I'll leave it to Destiny to decide if it happens for me.
Every time I go to a leather bar, I have to fight off an evil urge to walk in and say, �Trick or treat!� I keep forgetting that wearing cow skins makes them lose their sense of humor.
Dating is the worst waste of time known to mankind. Both sides make a Herculean effort to impress each other and, in the end, fall in love with themselves.
There�s a reason we bisexuals fantasize very little: We get to do all the things we would dream about. We�re not in denial; we�re just enjoying life.
I hear guys claiming that you can�t judge the gay community by the �Bitch Session.� Unfortunately, you can. The real thing is no better. At least with �Bitch Session,� if you get tired of it, you can put it down, but what do you do with bitchy queens in your face?
Gay men claim to seek Mr. Right and have very specific qualities in mind. Then they meet the guy with all those qualities, and they run for dear life.
To the man who asked if it is truly impossible to find a monogamous, -free professional into kink: Yes, it is � I�m one � but when you tell me you want to be my , I really don�t understand why you complain that someone associates being with being ty.
Acting like a pompous ass and making up ridiculous stories just highlights your insecurities. If you want to impress me, you might try being honest. It�s a rare and highly desirable quality.
Gay men are still men, not a third . That bothers straight men more than anything else, but it is still true.
The guys talk about all the hot guys here as if they were breads in a bakery. The difference is that the breads don�t go stale when you get them home.
I don�t recall ever making a snap judgment based on a person�s es, but let me put on my leather jacket and I have guys shooting poison darts in my direction.
How would my ex-wife react if she heard I was marrying a gay Druid? I doubt she�d care about your beliefs or orientation, but if she saw you, she�d have me committed!
I�m not looking for anyone right now. I don�t feel ready. Prodding me isn�t going to make me ready, and I don�t want to trick in the meantime. Whatever is out there for me is worth the wait.

Copyright � 2004

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