Fucking Wussley and his bullshit ranting. Let the training go on for two hours before he ever said a word. And when he did? Mr Backhanded remark.

 

"It seems that Mr. Harris was in an altercation today, something regarding you. What on earth did you do now?" Didn't hit him. I mean, that counts for something, right?

 

She hightailed it over here to get the word from the dumbass's own mouth. A fight. Jesus. Just what he needs, and we need, with the Tweed Brigade already carping about distractions and healthy relationships.

 

//Of course Willow is here. Probably weaseling in on my boy-toy. Ok, maybe not. But she's not as innocent as she presents herself I know it. If she'd just come clean and admit that she has some dirt under those fingernails, we could be tight. Never had a girlfriend, the kind to do the hair thing, and the nails thing and we could gossip about Xander. All that sappy shit. Instead she looks down her nose at me like I'm gonna drop kick him on his head. Fuck. Let up a little Miss Priss. It's ok to be real. //

 

"I said, what the fuck happened to you?" She watches both of them sitting there all slack-jawed. // I must look off my gourd. Who cares? I am. //

 

"I got in a fight." He's holding the open pop can up to his eye. Willow looks like she didn't know that. Score one for Faith.

 

"I already knew that, moron. Who with, and why?" Sits the can on the table and lets his hands rest against his knees. Jaw tightening, and great, it's fight time.

 

"Is this concern? Because you might want to ask me how I feel or if I'm ok, not come running in here like some half-crazed lunatic screaming her lungs out." Completely steady voice. Big trouble.

 

"I am a fully crazed lunatic. Why did I have to find out from Wesley that you got in a fight? You couldn't find me and tell me yourself?"

 

"Why, so you could go beat them up for taking my lunch money?"

 

"Something like that."

 

"I handled it on my own. Unless I've lost my ability to judge to crack of bone, he'll be at the emergency room still, getting plastered."

 

"Xander, you sent someone to the hospital?" Willow's whisper voice. Faith's glad for once she jumped right in there. Doesn't want to end up going a round or two with him herself.

 

"Possibly. It's not important. It was a fight. It was a long time comin', and now we can talk about something else." Nothing to see here folks, move along. He *so* does not want to get into this with her right now.

 

"Fuck not important. I want to KNOW."

 

Faith is not going to let this one go. "He called you a slut. Are you happy? Now you know. Do you feel better? I was trying to save your goddamned feelings, ok?"

 

"Hold up. You got in a fight because some limp dick called me a slut? And then you tried to lie about it? To save my feelings?" She's half inclined to laughter and half ready to fuck Xander up for fighting over something so retarded. //His face earnest in the dim light of the library. Well after mid-night, Giles and Wesley rustling around in the stacks, Willow asleep, head resting on folded arms. That weird Oz guy whispering to Angel in the corner.

 

"Yes, I'm serious." He wraps his fingers around her bicep to pull her into Giles' office, first impulse, to pull his digits back until they snap, but she just lets him tug her into the semi-privacy of the office.

 

"Stop yankin' my chain, Harris." His hand doesn't drop, just tightens to an uncomfortable pressure.  Brings his face into her personal space.

 

"I'm not yankin' anything, Faith, I mean it. I want you to go with me to the party, you know, as my date, not my friend." //

 

"Good summation. Look into law as a career."  His super snark voice pulls Faith back, and she sees she's hurt his feelings dismissing him, but she has her pride to deal with.

 

"Babe. I can fight my own battles..." Tones down her voice a few notches.

 

"Faith, I'm sure he just kind of, you know, reacted. He wasn't trying to be manly, were you, Xander?"  Willow's speaking calmly, like she would to two people with guns pointed and cocked at each other.

 

"No, not manly. Just pissed."  Ducks his head and looks away from Faith, she sees that, knows it's his way of backing off and away from the fight.

 

Willow already looks relieved. "See? So, no biggie. Right? Just a black eye, and the other guy won't be talking for a while."  Faith and Xander both laugh softly at that, Xander's smile lingering.

 

"So, are we gonna Bronze it or what?" Faith asks, licking her lips, but still keeping a suspicious eye on her boyfriend. Ready for him to kick his ego back into gear or shrug her off for the night in punishment for her outburst.

 

"Ah, the Bronze, sounds like a plan Stan." Xander reaches for his coat, immensely glad that he can get out of the apartment without any casualties.

 

Faith grabs his arm lightly to stop him from slipping out the door in his hurry to get the hell out of the apartment and the share time. "No rhyming, and this conversation isn't over, Xander."

 

"I would imagine not, but let's pretend it is, ok?" Xander inclines his head to where Willow is still standing, looking like she's more than a little embarrassed to be witnessing this tiff between them.

 

"Okkaayyy, so, we can leave anytime, and I don't need to be around for the rest of the talk." Willow reaches for the door handle and twists.

 

"In a hurry to meet Mr. Forehead, huh?" Faith drawls, letting go of Xander's arm and leaving him with a look that promises they *will* talk about it later, in private.  When she doesn't have to moderate her responses to Willow's presence. The other bitch in the pack ready to rip Faith's throat out for damaging what Willow imagines as her prior claim to the man.

 

"Why...why would you say that?" Willow frowns, stopping in the doorway. Her eyes are just a little wild? Startled? //Homerun holy fuck, that little wench//

 

"No reason, Red. Whatever." Faith crowds behind her in an attempt to force her out of the doorway.  //oh yeah, this will be fun//

 

"Um, without a clue here. As usual." Xander shakes his head and looks from Faith to Willow for some indication as to what they're talking about.

 

"Don't worry about it, Xander." Willow glares at Faith, which produces a small chuckle from the Slayer. " Let's go, come on."

 

 

 

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"Aren't you supposed to be patrolling tonight?" Willow asks Faith, once again, feeling crowded by the slayer's obvious attachment to Xander.

 

"Night's still young," The slayer's swaying to the music as she stands by the table, glances over at Willow, not really seeing her. It's more like a quick sweep in the redhead's general direction, looking to see if there's anything more interesting going on next to her, behind her, anywhere that does not involve *her*.

 

Willow turns her attention to Xander and catches his sympathetic look. He slides one of the glasses the waitress has just delivered in her direction, leaving a wet mark behind from the condensation dripping down the glass. She accepts it, smiles. "Well, you won't find any vampires here tonight," Willow, adds peevishly.

 

"No? What about that one?"

 

Willow and Xander both swivel their heads and see Angel standing at the entrance. He notices them and picks his way through the crowd. Oh God, remember to breathe, it'll look suspicious if she hyperventilates at the table. What is she going to say to him? What is he going to say to her? Will he mention last night? Where exactly do they stand now?

 

 His greeting is short and terse, "Four vamps outside."

 

"Then why you standing in here, big boy?" Faith asks reaching around to her back pocket to assure that her stake is still tucked there.

 

"Because there used to be six and two more just arrived."

 

Xander pushes away from the table. "Okay, let's hit it, gang."

 

Willow takes another sip of her soda and moves to join him, when Angel blurts out, "No, there's going to be a lot of serious action out there. You two had better wait in here."

 

Faith frowns, and then argues, "Yeah, it's safer in here for Red, but Xander can handle himself. He's always my back-up on patrol."

 

And isn't that just like Faith to try and exclude her, Willow thinks.

 

"Yeah, but what if one of them makes it past us and gets in here? We'll need someone in here to handle damage control." She doesn't get to see him fight? That's unfair. The thought that he and Faith might not win never crosses her mind.

 

**

 

"He thinks he's Mr. Big Bad Vamp slayer. Mr. Buttinsky." Xander mumbles as he eyes Faith leaving with the Souled One. They couldn't find a universe without *him* in it?  Couldn't find one where things were *right * and not just another brand of fucked up?

 

"You'd rather he walked away and let Faith fight them herself?"  Doesn't want to lose anyone else, no, not even Faith, not this one anyway.

 

"Don't confuse the issue with facts and logic Will, besides, if you love him so much why don't you marry him?" A childhood taunt that never produced that alarmed, expression like she's just swallowed a cockroach. Redness infuses her face, and suddenly it's not funny anymore. He can't keep the horrified tone out of his voice.  "Oh my God, you're in love with him?!?" 

 

"I never said in love, I didn't...I..." Icy fear sets in. This is beyond not good. Not only is she hooked up with someone who isn't him, it's Dead Boy, and what's the next nugget gonna be? He has rectal cancer?

 

It occurs to him that maybe his landing in this world wasn't just about him; maybe he was sent here to prevent an opening of another Angelus Funland, 'cause face it, Willow's no good with a sword. Not that it would matter *who * it was. Oz was as unassuming as a guy can be and still be a werewolf, and Xander wasn't so keen on that turn of events either. "Will, listen to me, he's bad news. Stay away from him."

 

Her lips thin to that sharp line, causing those fury dimples she has to appear just beyond the edges of her mouth, and he knows he's hit something brewing beneath the surface.  And that only assures him that he needs to take her wrath square on the chin and say what he has to say, because seeing her dead or hurt isn't on his agenda.

 

"What? He's always been good. He helps us, and people, and he defeated the Master!"

 

"Defeated...ok, well, maybe he did, but that doesn't mean we know everything about him." He wonders how he's going to phrase this without appearing to be some Edgar Cayce wannabe. " You two aren't, know you, physical with the sick love, are you?" Realizes the *not* smoothness of that the second it's out of his mouth

 

"What exactly is that supposed to mean?"

 

"I think you understand me, Wills, are you too, getting it on, I guess not on on, but..." he knows he's rambling at this point like a deranged maniac, but there really isn't anyway to skirt around the issue. This Willow isn't *his* Willow and doesn't know the tale of woe that is Angel getting a happy. But if the lives of their doubles were as similar as he thinks, doesn't that mean she is his? That any and all Willow's belong to him?  " Has he like touched you in a naughty way?"

 

"Xander! First of all- none of your business. Have I asked you about Faith and naughty touching?"

 

"I guess, no?" Although, they could've talked about *Giles'* love life for all he knows. But he hopes not, because, ewwww. And that's not the point anyway, tries to focus on the very important matter at hand, warning Willow not to give it up to a vampire who's going to become the evil dead without looking like freaky future guy.

 

"This has nothing to do with me and Faith. Faith doesn't lose it when she gets some...well, not in the way I mean." And he admits that may be a bad example.

 

"You've had too much caffeine. You are seriously crazed." She obsesses over the napkin, trying to pry apart the wet layers that are stuck together without ripping the whole thing. Like it's the cure for cancer or something.

 

"I am not insane. I mean it, Willow, don't let him try to sex you up. I wouldn't want..."

 

She rips the paper and ends up scrubbing it across the table, soaking up the rest of the liquid from the surface, pushes it in a wet mess to what had been Faith's spot at the table. "I don't care what you want! How dare you say that to me! I thought maybe you would be happy for me, that I found someone who likes me, and instead, you are all have my cake and eat it too! You have Faith, I have no one!"

 

Willow stands up, and he knows he's blown it as she storms out, bumping into Faith as the Slayer comes back to the table.

 

"What the fuck happened in here?" Faith asks in confusion, shaking off the loss of balance the unexpected encounter caused.

 

"Oh, just you know, the usual. I was an asshole, and Willow fled into the night."

 

"What brand of asshole? You grilling her about Deadboy?"

 

Hey, he's supposed to be the only psychic freak here. "How did you...you wily women and your conversation radar."

 

"You want to work off some of the frustration? Maybe, you know, wink, patrol? I wouldn't say no if you want to play the conquistador game again."

 

Maybe that should elicit more of a response, but right now his head is still trying to wrap around how he can convince Willow that she needs to stay away from Angel without claiming that jealous stalker vibe "Yeah, I could do that, but I want to ask you something first."

 

"Shoot."

 

He may need Faith's help in this, but he's not sure how much he can count on her, or how much he'll have to let her in on. "Do you hate Willow?"

 

"No I never hated her, but you how it is, she's got it in for me, for me and you and all that shit. I thought maybe Angel would take care of that, but now I think it's the way it's gonna be."

 

"Do you think if I asked you nicely, you could try to be nicer to her? Maybe try to be friends with her?" that would be the proof that this was an unnatural alternative universe: Faith and Willow friends.

 

"How nice are we talking?"

 

This is his cue to be persuasion guy. "Let's go on that patrol and I will show you how nice I can be."

 

 

 

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