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MEMORY OR OUR ANCESTORS
BY
RABBIT
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Veruca-LA
==========
Why is modern architecture so soul-less? Take
this building for example.
Glass and steel co-exist with sepia
carpet, potted trees and indoor
fountains. This is
supposed to make us feel more in touch with the calming,
soothing aspect of ‘the Earth’ while at the same time completely
removing us
from nature. There are ways to flourish in the city
while embracing the
beast within, but this building is not an
example of that.
It ‘s expensive. The kind of place I could
never afford. I knew David, the
vampire I was hunting, couldn’t
either. The only reason people like us came
here was because we
were hunting. Or, someone was paying… for girls…or
boys…or both.
Some rich old fuck wanted to…well, fuck. A lot of us couldn’t
forget the patterns of our human existence. Either way, we got
what we
needed-blood, money, dysfunction. It was a win-win
situation, sort of.
I didn’t do it anymore; the
tricks…never had the stomach for it. I couldn’t
stand some
sweaty old prick wanting to stick it in me…thinking he owned my
ass because he’d rented it for an hour. I never could stand it…
just lying
there while some impotent dick tried to get it up or
keep it up… pretending
he was the best I’d ever had…that I loved
it so much I’d do it for free,
which was a lie-‘cause I’d made
him put the money on the table before he
even unzipped.
I used to stare at the bills, talk to them in my
head…you Mr. Jackson are a
prime rib dinner, a hunk of dead cow
with red juices pouring out of you as I
mash you down with my
fork…and you sir are a new pair of boots and bring
your friends
‘cause I like quality in my footwear. That was *before*
No, I hadn’t done it since Daniel found me. Daniel was
my savior and mentor.
He was a wolf like me, but he’d been
around a lot longer…he knew *stuff*.
He was teaching me and the
others how to live with the wolf inside, not
suppress it or deny
it, but embrace it…become it.
We all lived together now:
Daniel, Devon, Aidan, Jordan and I. It was easier
to live in a
pack, easier to hunt, easier to take what you needed…what you
wanted. I’ve learned a lot from Daniel: what it is to have a
place to go, a
family watching your back. Most importantly…I’ve
learned what I am…the
nature of the wolf. I’m learning how to
harness that power and become a
fucking God.
Vampires need humans… for money…for blood. They can’t
survive without them,
they’re parasites. They’re lower on the
food chain as far as I’m concerned.
We wolves are a much more
noble race.
We don’t need humans, they’re an
inconvenience, an annoyance and sometimes
sport, but not
necessary to my survival. Now David was another story, he was
just a fucking whore…all vampires are.
I secretly suspected
that he just liked to take it up the ass from wrinkled
old men.
Daddy issues anyone?
Not like Devon, God bless him.
Devon was a romantic. Which is why he
sometimes got himself into
trouble. Love at first sight? That’s why he
followed David into
an ally and found himself gang banged by five of David’s
vamp
buddies. Luckily Devon wolfed out and broke the handcuffs they’d put
on
him, managed to inflict a little damage too. Daniel was out
of town (great
timing- huh), but he had freaked when he called
and heard that vampires had
attacked Devon (minus the gang bang
part of course). Daniel immediately
ordered a vengeance party-
because no one does bloody revenge like a wolf.
Now all I had to
do was find the party responsible and alert the pack.
Easier said than done.
I stepped off of the
elevator. This latest sugar daddy of David’s was
another
vampire. This one wanted to rescue the young Adonis from an
unfortunate and violent life on the streets. I could almost feel
sympathy
for this unknown ‘Patron of the Tarts’. I would pity
anyone who crawled into
the viper nest that is David’s unlife,
but this new guy is a vampire too, so
not worth my effort.
The staccato sound of a car horn from the street below
wailed above the
squeal of brakes and caught my attention as I
passed a window. I looked down
in curiosity in time to see David
on the street, slapping the hood of a car
as it barely missed
him. He waved at the driver then flipped him off as he
crossed
the rest of traffic.
“Shit!” How did he get past me?
There was no way I was going to spend the
rest of the night
tracking him all across town. I reached for my cell phone
and
punched the numbers as I raced for the elevator. Thirty, forty times
I
pushed the down arrow before the bell sounded and the door
opened. Damn.
“He’s heading west.”
[Push the
button: Lobby.]
(Close, you fucking door)
“…I’m
trying Devon, but I’m stuck in this damn elevator.”
[Lobby.
Lobby.]
(Close already, will ya?)
“Keep him
in sight, I’ll be right there.”
[Lobby. Lobby. Lobby.
Lobby]
“Wait!” A girl slipped through the closing doors,
causing them to open again
and waste precious more time. “Whew,
I thought I wasn’t going to make it,”
she breathed in obvious
relief.
She’s blonde, pretty in an earthy kind of way.
With a battered pair of
ragged jeans and a too short white baby
t-shirt that exposes her navel, I
don’t have to guess what she’s
been doing here.
“He’s gone.” I hear Nathan’s voice over
the cell phone.
“Shit! I’ll be down. We’ll just have to
start looking again.” I turned off
the phone and returned it to
my jacket pocket.
“Bad news?” The blonde asked
hesitantly, shyly, with a lowered head and the
trace of an
apologetic smile.
She had an air of innocent
uncertainty, a vulnerability that hovered around
her and drew my
eyes to her lips. Ohh, she’s good. I bet this act gets her a
lot
of business. I shrugged, “it’s nothing I can’t handle.” I smiled and
glanced down. My hand would fit so perfectly over the curve of
her belly,
wouldn’t it?
A red flush spread over her
face and she swallowed nervously in the face of
such blatant
innuendo, busying herself by pushing the button of her floor
again. The blonde took a step back, crossing her legs and
leaning against
the wall. Her hands fidgeted and fluttered as
she searched for something to
further occupy them.
Or maybe not an act?
Maybe it’s genuine
embarrassment of a situation forced of desperation? Maybe
a
genuine shame of a life that a drunken father committed a daughter
to
during a boozy shout fest, but not a life lived enough to
harden her to it
yet. She still carried that concern about what
others thought of her. She
hadn’t learned that you think what
others pay you to think, until after you
dressed-then you don’t
give a fuck about them.
I don’t care. She’s human—and she’s
free to fuck up her life just like the
rest of them. She’ll
toughen up soon, or she won’t make it. If she’s weak,
she
deserves to be eliminated from the cosmic gene pool. Only the tough
survive this world.
“What’s your name?” God! I can’t
believe I asked her that. I don’t care who
the hell she is. I
looked up above the door, at the numbers counting down-
we’re
almost to the lobby and when we get there, I’m just going to walk
away.
“Tara.” She crossed her arms over her stomach
protectively, but her eyes lit
up with a hopeful wish.
Yeah, I’m gonna be the best friend she’s ever had
and give her some advice
that might just save her life. “Do
yourself a favor Tara, if you’ve got
somewhere to go- go there.
Don’t hang around…here.” I swung my head around
the enclosed
space. ”This city will kill you.” The bell sounded and the
doors
opened. I walked through them without looking back.
I
had a vampire to kill.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The moon
is a sliver, but it doesn’t matter-Daniel has taught us to summon
the wolf at any time; we’re no longer a slave to her cycle,
except for her
three fullest nights. Like those from centuries
past, we bend to her pull
and surrender completely to her will
at the full moon.
I don’t think of the wolf as separate
anymore. I don’t keep it locked up in
a cage like Oz used to.
Everyday I *am* the wolf, hidden behind this mask of
humanity.
When Devon and I walk through the crowds of people on the street,
we don’t have to ask anyone if they’ve seen the vampire, we can
smell where
he’s been, we track him and I can feel the
excitement of the hunt stirring
my blood.
And that’s
what I’ve found here in LA- my pack. Devon and I don’t speak; we
don’t have to waste useless words to convey ideas. We take in
the scent, we
look at each other-and we *know*. My brother feels
my thoughts, I feel his.
We are the beautiful synchronicity of
kindred souls working in tandem as
nature, as the moon intended.
We’ve learned her secret, and that’s why we can shift at
any time, to any
degree. At times like this, when she’s
new, she winks at us because we’ve
transcended the memory of our
ancestors and evolved into her true wolf
children. We have
become warriors for the new times and the world is laid
before
us, waiting for us to claim our birthright.
Devon stops,
standing achingly still. He doesn’t want to alert the prey- a
second of stillness before we continue.
Yes. We
weave our way through the crowd on the sidewalk (may the Gods bless
the strip on a Friday night) and silently close the distance
between our
target and us.
I see David in profile,
leaning against an alley entrance. The vampire is
talking to
someone who isn’t visible from this angle, but I can smell
them-human, female, and familiar?
My brother falters
beside me, but recovers quickly. He will not allow
sentimental notions of ‘love’ to distract us-hopefully. Is he
jealous of a
potential meal? I can feel the twinge of regret in
his breast. Regret
for…not being killed in that alley by this
asshole? No, regret that he can’t
have this one, regret that a
faithless vampire caught his heart, even
momentarily. Poor
Devon…he’s a poet.
The vampire slips into the alley,
undoubtedly hungry and finally able to
convince his meal to go
with him. We follow. My shirt drops to the ground,
Devon follows
my lead. As the darkness of the unlighted passageway touches
us,
we allow the wolf to come to the front. Sharp claws, a snout that
ends
in a twitching, moist nose…the power of the wolf comes as
our muscles change
and ripple under prickling flesh.
I hear the pitch of fear in a voice coming from just
ahead of us.
“W-w-wha’ts g-going on? W-what’s wrong with your
face…nnnnooooo!”
The smell of blood is in the air, just
a hint. The vampire has barely broken
the skin. He’s playing
with his victim. The sounds of her frightened sobs
cause a fire
to race up my spine and I feel it spread throughout my soul as
the excitement of a kill, even one that’s not my own, consumes
me. Pure
overwhelming instinct launches me at his back and we
crash into the wall as
the girl is thrown aside, crying softly.
Snapping. Tearing. Teeth and nails. The feel of
flesh giving way, as it’s
ripped open. The fine mist of sprayed
blood lands on my face as I take
wolf’s vengeance out on him,
but it’s not even his blood, it’s *hers*. I
have to go deeper to
find him, I have to seek *his* core to exact my revenge
and I
do-snarling and shaking as his head pounds against the wall behind
him. A vampire’s heart is like the center of their power,
destroy it and you
destroy them.
Plus, it’s pretty
damn tasty.
Poof. Dust settles over everything as I
swallow the center of David’s power.
“Thanks for saving
me some, ”Devon’s voice snarks from behind me.”
The wolf
regresses and I turn around. “Sorry, I kind of got carried away,” I
apologize sheepishly. I still have a lot to learn about control.
“There’s
always the human. Knock yourself out.”
We
both glance at the trembling heap looking up at us through blonde
hair.
Now I recognize her, it’s that girl from the
elevator…Tara.
“Wait!”
Devon raises an
eyebrow. “You want this one too? Kind of greedy?”
“No,
I…” I don’t know why I stopped him, but I walk over to her.
She shrinks away from me. “I’m not going to hurt you.” I
don’t know why I
shouldn’t. People like her were meant to be
hurt I think. Some of us have a
survival instinct and some of us
don’t-you know? Instead, I extend my hand.
“Come on.”
“You’re not taking her with us are you?” Devon asks in
horror. “Daniel will
never let a human in the house.”
“And he’ll appreciate the true story of why you were in
that alley with
David?” I ask nodding to the layer of dust on
the ground.
“Oh, unfair,” Devon protests, raising his hands
to his chest. “You hurt me
deep inside… where I’m soft and
vulnerable.”
I laugh, while I lift Tara to her feet.
“You know I love your creamy
marshmallow center.”
Devon looks again at what’s left of the vampire and
sighs. “So did he.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“W-won’t that guy be mad if I’m here?”
Fuck yeah
he will. Luckily, Daniel’s gone till Monday. Aidan tried his best
to fit the Alpha shoes by forbidding me to bring Tara into the
house and
then wolfing out to scare her into leaving, but I
wasn’t having any of that
shit. Even Jordan attempted to plead
with me. When she saw it wasn’t
working, she tried to appeal to
Devon who just raised his hands in the air
in surrender.
“I-I don’t want to get you into trouble.” Tara tried
again.
“Let me worry about that, okay?” I could
change her, turn her into a wolf
before Daniel even got home,
but I know that he has to approve new additions
to the pack.
He’s never allowed a human to be turned; every one of us was
already a wolf when he found us. Would he even let me turn Tara?
Did I really want to?
She rose from the
chair and approached me, then stopped and looked at the
ground
at her feet. She just seems more of the hunted rather than the
hunter. Can that kind of ingrained nature be changed? Did the
wolf choose
the rest of us because it recognized the warrior
spirit already present?
“Thanks for saving me,” she
says.
It must be the twentieth time she’s thanked me. I
feel like there’s
something else she wants to say, but she never
spits it out.
“I hope he lets me stay here, I-I don’t
have anywhere else to go. My folks…”
she raises her face, with
huge frightened eyes and I feel my stomach clench.
How can
someone so unassuming have so much power over me? I’ve hunted people
just like her.
“I want to stay here with you.” She
smiles and does that head bob that used
to annoy me. Strangely,
I’m starting to find it endearing. Raising one hand,
she reaches
for my face.
Hesitantly she leans closer and
whispers in my ear, “Thank you.” The tip of
her nose rubs
against my cheek as she starts to pull away, starting an ache
in
my cunt that shoots through me, heightened by the caress of her hair
brushing against my collarbone. I can’t tell if she knows what
she’s doing,
what affect her touch is producing. She seems so
guileless, but not
completely innocent, considering where we
first met.
I catch her by the back of the neck, my grip
softened by the curtain of her
hair. Gently, afraid of scaring
her, I kiss her experimentally and will her
to feel what I feel.
I will her to find some spark of the wolf inside of
herself and
not be crushed by the spirit of it that rages inside of me.
Silently I beg her prove herself not too weak to be my mate, to
be *more*
than human.
She offers no protest as I
place my hand over her breast and begin to
unbutton her shirt.
She just makes a little sound of acceptance in her
throat.
There’s no meaning to your life as a human, there’s
nothing to hold you to
that world-that I can see. Wouldn’t you
like to become a being that means
something, wouldn’t you like
to rise above the trash that pollutes this
planet? If I could
pass that knowledge to you, as a secret given to you with
my
lips, with my tongue…if you could breathe it into you-would you?
Don’t think Tara…just feel. Don’t talk yourself out of
it. Ignore logic and
listen to your soul. I know it can hear me.
~Finis~
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