Dr. Reisbig teaches Thermodynamics at Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University. He's known for his "insights."
Thanks to Miss Rose for certain quotes.
--During the evolution debate
Cement is the greatest acheivement of the Roman Empire besides killing Christians . . . Along Came the Christians and everything went to Hell.
--10/20/03
Why did the Red Baron wear scarfs? To keep his uniform collar clean & to wipe his goggles off of the caster oil that is spewing from the propellers.
--10/20/03
Why does it work to have a really old guy and a reallky young wife? Because he is really rich and she will get all the money, then you can move in and spend it.
--10/06/03
If you stand in the elevator with thte door shut, not moving for 15 minutes, you will be so hot and uncomforable that after another 5 minutes you will probably die. I don't encourage you do this though.
--9/26/03
How far away can you hear the bison? Far enough away so the bison aren't stepping on your head.
--10/15/03
When the last cockroach has died on earth there will be electrical power in Norway. They will be dead but the lights will be on.
--11/04/03
The only way you can get fired at Embry-Riddle is by doing something.
--apparently explaining the rationale behind his teaching methods.
...They didn't know whether I had a stroke or if I died from abusing my body, which was closer to the truth. They were pleasant about it. Only three of them stepped on my face on their way out.
--On the students' reaction to his hypoglycemic seizure.
So you're from the Sudan. Do you hunt lions?
And here's your Riddle pilot, with a bug in his teeth and his refreshment on the dashboard. You know, I wonder why anybody would want to spend a quarter million dollars learning to fly here when you could do it cheaper across the street. I guess it's because you've got these wealthy parents, but their kids don't want to go to college, so they send them here to learn to fly instead.
I want those Krauty little bastards to cross the Maginot Line and kick the shit out of those Frog bastards.
This has to be the slickest thing since snot... and sliced bread.
The size of the space you need is inversely proportional to your intelligence
--on why pilots get such a large new building.
...And I will collect a check for $1,704 dollars every week, even as I work to educate you lunkheads!
--on the benefits of socialism
Hitler said, "If you say anything three times, you'll get it." You know, Schroeder, the German Prime Minister, calls us "war-mongers." But we had to kick your porky little ass two times this century!
I don't need to squish students to satisfy my sick needs, to prove my worth to myself.
One of my highest aspirations is... I want to be trailer trash.
--after calling Buda "white trash" because of his cap
If you kill it, you have to eat it
--on why humans have the right to eat animals
If that doesn't confuse you, I'm not doing my job today.
RETURN