Search for a definition
Three years ago I tried to come up with a working definition that would establish, once and for all, a distinction between the two groups of societal outcasts, the geeks and nerds. This definition should fulfill several test cases:
1. Mark Joseph Soppet is the "Archnerd"
2. Obese, forty-year old men who live with their parents and own comic book stores must be geeks
3. Wearing geeky, plastic-rimmed glasses doesn't necessarily make you a geek or nerd--just a hollow trendsetter.
The definition I settled on goes a little something like this:
"Nerds can trace their social ineptitude to their enhanced intelligence. Geeks are socially inept but generally not due to their intelligence."
But this definition did not go far enough, as far as I was concerned. After all, the geeks were the folks who would play "Magic: The Gathering" and collect "Star Wars" merchandise. And not all nerds are socially inept, even if they appear awkward. I did some more consulting with other people who have classified themselves as "geeks" or "nerds."
The Monroe Definition
Under the Monroe model, a geek is a person who is characterized by their obsessions. Under this model, a person can be intelligent but qualify as a geek instead of a nerd. A geek would be somebody who plays excessive amounts of "Dungeons and Dragons" or PC games.
To be more specific, a geek's obsession must have some kind of intellectual underpinnings. Games like chess, or the more contemporary role-playing games and Magic cards, require strategy (and wise investment, in the case of the latter two games.) Comic books, a staple of the geek's literary diet, can convey powerful stories while also exhibiting phenominal artwork.
Credibility is lent to this theory of geekdom by Comedy Central's old game show, "Beat the Geeks." Each geek would specialize in one area, whether it be in movies, TV, music, Star Trek, or "Playboy" magazine.
The Geoffroy Model
The Geoffroy model distinguishes the geek by his behavors. Such behaviors follow the stereotypical ideas of what a geek would look like. It's been said that "The Dark Knight Returns (a Batman graphic novel written by Frank Miller) is required reading for all geekdom." Underthe Geoffroy model, a geek would be a person who devotes a significant portion of his or her life to the following activities: collectible card games, fantasy role-playing games, "Star Trek," "Star Wars," comic books, actively following professional wrestling, and stalking Gillian Anderson.
Again, obsession forms a part of the definition of geekdom. A person who plays computer / video games sparingly would not be a geek, and maybe not even a nerd.
The Geoffroy Model, as well as the Monroe definition, should bring great shame to Triumph, the insult comic dog. During a sketch on the Conan O' Brien Show during May 2002, Triumph mocked the socially-inept souls who had waited for weeks outside of a theatre so they could be the first to see "Star Wars Episode II." The segment was uproariously funny, but there was one problem with it--Triumph incessantly referred to these lost souls as "nerds" instead of the more appropriate "geek" moniker. I would expect a nerd to be smart enough to draw an important distinction: Star Wars" is a movie, not a way of life. Its debut does not justify the lost work / school, and even the fans will get a chance to watch it.
The Schneider Protocol
Social skills are an important part of the Schneider protocol for clasifying geeks and nerds. A nerd has social skills but chooses not to utilize them. A geek has no social skills to speak of. And I've seen many people I would call "nerdy" or just plain nerds, but they're also outgoing people with a healthy social framework. On the other hand, this definition would exclude myself from being "the archnerd."
Geeks are dichotomized by different traits under the Schneider definition. Using the "Gamer's Guild" at Embry-Riddle as case-in-point, most geeks practice poor hygeine, and their intellect is below the levels they want you to believe. It's also invariably true that geeks attempt to be outgoing, despite their awkwardness. It is common geek beahvior, after finding a woman stupid enough to date the geek, to show off the girlfriend like a trophy. However, nerds are far more self-conscious than geeks. Nerds are fully aware of their awkwardness, and many of them do not waste their time on trying to forge relationships with members of the opposite gender.
A final tenet of the Schneider hypothesis is that some nerds are so mainstream that they will not even acknowledge their nerdiness. This, I contend, is a sign that elevated intelligence is the fundamental trait of nerd-dom. Intelligence does not necessarily lead to being socially ostracized, particularly if the nerd is surrounded by other intellectuals.
Ultimately, the distinction between "geek" and "nerd" is too subjective to put into words. A person's own judgement must be trusted on such issues. A person's clasification of himself or herself is a matter of self-esteem more than society's rigid roles. All of the "closet nerds" should get in touch with their true selves. There is a pride that accompanies nerdiness. It comes from rebellion against the anti-intellectual elements of society. I guess the lesson to this entire debate of geeks and nerds is this: self image is important, and no matter who you are, you must be satisfied with that image or you will never find happiness.