Whenever Buddha gets a new issue of Smithsonian Air and Space Magazine, he calls it "airplane porn." Perhaps it's a sign of the strange school we attend, but I totally understand and agree with his observation. And I'm sure that I'm not alone.
I enjoy looking at pictures of airplanes. Sure, the books that contain such pictures have loads of wealthy information. But it's ultimately the glossy pictures that grab hold of my attention. Sound familiar? Like the average heterosexual man's reaction to Playboy ? If anyone tells you he's reading it for the articles, he's lying. Who really wants to hear stories about Oliver North, Nick Nolte, or Norman Mailer's waning libido?
What's so fascinating about airplanes? Well, the ones I like are fast. They're powerful. And they look, for lack of a better term, sexy...
There are certain traits that define a sexy aircraft. Its fuselage must be slender with a pointy nose. The wings need to be raked back. It needs a clean configuration, without excessive weapons hanging off.
VERY SEXY!
DEFINITELY NOT SEXY!
Sexy Planes
Of the sexy planes to see combat in Vietnam, the F-102 Delta Dagger was withdrawn from service early in the war because it was designed as an interceptor instead of an all-purpose fighter. The F-105 was the Air Force's workhorse of the conflict, but half of all F-105's built were shot down during the conflict.
Even the sexy planes that didn't see service in Vietnam weren't very
successful. The needle nosed F-104 was quickly withdrawn from the Air Force due to its short range (although it made a killing on the export market.) The B-58 nuclear bomber was out of service after ten years, despite its mach 2 speed, because it could not penetrate Soviet airspace at low altitude. The F-107 never went into production, in favor of the slower F-105.
Ugly Planes
All of the planes that General Schwartzkopf cited as the most effective during Desert Storm were all ugly: The Harrier, the F-111 Aardvark, the A-10 Warthog, and the F-117 Nighthawk stealth fighter.
The most rugged and mass produced planes of World War II, the B-17 and B-24, were ugly, with all of their gun turrets and engines. The F4U corsair, despite its ugliness, was the most powerful flighter of the war. The first modern super-fighter, the F-4 Phantom II, is one of the ugliest supersonic jets ever built.
The ugly planes can be described as masculine, and the sexy ones as feminine. Masculine planes emphasize brute strength, firepower, and ruggedness. Feminine airplanes are graceful, fast, elegant, and sleek. Such qualities suit the people who fantasize about airplanes, namely, red-blooded men. These men want a beautiful plane / woman that still has some feistiness and strength without becoming as butch as Grace Jones.
That's not to say that masculne airplanes aren't fun to look at, too. Men can appreciate the firepower and strength that goes into these planes.
There is a form and beauty to all airplanes. Their ability to defy gravity and fulfill the dreams of mankind can amaze us all. The beauty comes in the elegance of the designs and the carefree attitude of the pilots who guide their happy trails across the sky.