There wasn't the uniformity and discipline that you find in your average MA class where beginners get to stand at the back and are pretty much left to themselves. Training in Systema involved interacting with everyone there regardless of their size or ability. I was conscious that I was heavily outnumbered in terms of the male:female and this was initially pretty awkward too.
A lot of the people that I trained with, particulaly those that had trained for some time, didn't have any problems with partnering me. Some people needed convincing that they could touch me and I wouldn't break. The biggest stumbling block in feeling part of the group and not an impairment to people's progress was myself. Initially and partly because of my martial arts background, I felt the need to prove myself to these men, to be as good as them by being exactly the same as them. This certainly impeded my progress and must have made it harder for people to train with me. Maybe it was because I wasn't bringing anything to the partner alliance that exists between people wanting to help each other train.
After some time I began to appreciate the difference in each persons approach to training. This was when I stopped trying to copy people and found Systema much more interesting. It took quite a while to learn 1st hand how physical size and bulk or fitness are uneccesary in Systema and how skillfulness is secondary to the state of your psyche. I don't claim to have all the answers or to be able to work effectively and productively with every person I work with, but I believe that an understanding of Systema is attainable to those who are open to learn. Physical traits and characteristics do not impair our ability to learn. This was clear when I trained in Russia and saw people far smaller than myself doing some excellent Systema.
There aren't many females that train in the System. I think that this is a real shame. It can be off-putting walking into a class and being surrounded by men. In my experience however, Systema is male-dominated, but its not a men's club. I have always felt welcome to train. There is no need to prove yourself to your partner; the biggest obstacle we need to overcome as we try to understand and progress is ourselves.
I hope that it wont be long before other women start training and get to experience Systema for themselves.
Mary Hamilton 11.10.2004