Writer-ly Attempts
2005 Poems

Just One More

You lose this round
of hide and seek.

Your hands are shaking.
Mine did, too, when
I first gave them to
your outstretched ones.

We took back our
hands a long time ago,
but still meet,
claiming it�s just
friendship now.

In conversation
we exhaust current
events. Your cats.
I wouldn�t know you
if I only read your
biography post-
me.

At the end we
had split our page
down the middle,
and the words on
my half are now
blurs to my eyes
and memory.

Your replacement�s name
comes up, and those times
you didn�t want me
again, or again,
have all led up to
this.

I�m holding the whip.
�He�s wonderful,� should
be lash one. Lash two,
�I�ve never been happier.�

But,

no one replaced
me�as if our
elevator embraces,
my hair in your mouth,
are worth saving.

I can�t wage war
if you won�t fight back.
I stretch my smile
like hide over a drum,
and drop the whip.

I lose. You lose.
We�re together.


Advice from My Divorced Mother

1.

Don�t let the jelly-
fish get to you.
Swim towards him,
if he�s what you want.
Rejection stings but
it�s better than
sand in your pants.

2.

Don�t let the jelly-
beans get to you.
They may be your
favorite candy,
but he can do better.
Make sure he knows
it�s Godiva or goodbye.

3.

Don�t let the jelly-
rolls get to you.
He says he loves
you the way you are.
But �fat� and �girl-
friend� can�t be
in the same sentence.

4.

Don�t let the jelly
coat get to you.
His words aren�t sincere.
He�s not sorry to leave.
Don�t swallow it. Scream. Cry.
Congratulations,
you�re a woman.


It�s hard for atheists to cope with death, the televangelist says
In memory of Alan Hankin

I�m up at four, but
lack of prayer does not
fuel my insomnia.

My father�s damnation
is not in my hands.
If it�s all true,
my mother and aunts�
collective tribute,
made out in prayers
and rosary rubbing,
will bribe Peter to
open the gates.

There�s no demand for
their currency, so
why play the game?

He isn�t damned.
He isn�t even gone.
We still share the
same ground, and
he�ll rejoin us.
Immortality
exists, if you�re
willing to switch forms.

I�m up because his
return is not to be
missed, but easy to miss.


Masquerade

Lights out, they climb
into bed and
shed disguises.
Their alibi: sleep.

She opens her own
doors and has an
ever-ready wallet
during the day,
but is now
barnacle-
tight at his waist.

When awake, he is
a Happy Buddha.
At rest, his hands
are balled fists.
He mutters when
not grating teeth.

They tuck away
these until bedtime
because monsters
in the mirror
are scariest of all.


Big little girls
A bout-rimes

We were always wishing for June,
the end of school, the end of stress.
Seventeen magazine let us moon
away, feeding us pretty boys to obsess
over�Pop culture was (still is) a snake,
making feminism�s success moot.
It told us fourteen-year olds to cake
powder on our faces in order to be beaut.
We could try, but we could never be Garbo.
High self-esteem? That was child�s play.
A single girl was as well-off as a hobo.
Ignoring adult morale boosters, we dreamt of the day
we�d feel like diamonds instead of rhinestone,
the day we could bathe in boys� cologne.


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