It was almost sunset by the time I woke
up the next night. I had slept almost 18 hours. I was still a little sore, but
Spike had been right. I felt a lot better. I didn’t hurt nearly as much as I
had the night before, at least not physically. I rolled onto my back and
nearly jumped out of my skin, when I noticed him casually standing against the
wall watching me.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about the
souled vampire. A part of me burned in rage at the way Spike had violated me,
and I wanted to hit Blondie over and over again. Yet another part of me was
terrified of him. He’d held me down and taken something that no one had the
right to touch without permission. I felt like he’d stolen some deep part of me
that I’d never get back. Unfortunately, there was also a part of me that
understood what he’d done, the terrible choice that Angelus had left Spike
with. If I’d been put in a room with one of the girls and been given that
choice, if he’d made me choose between having to hurt them or watching
him kill them… I’m not honestly sure what I would have done. I’m not sure what
he could have made me do in order to protect one of them.
“Afternoon, how do you feel?” he asked
me, taking a seat next to me on the bed. I was not going to scream like a girl.
No matter how much I wanted to.
“Better I guess,” I answered in what I
hoped was a non-committal tone. I’d pretty much decided I believed Spike, but
that didn’t mean I was ready to be all buddy buddy.
“Good. I sent one of the minions off for
some breakfast. They should be back soon.”
“Okay,” I answered.
“We have some things to go over. You
want to talk or eat first?” He asked me.
“What kind of things?” I asked. I wished
I didn’t sound so nervous.
“The way things are now, the way they’re
going to be,” he answered. What the hell did that mean?
“I…” I started to say, just as an
unfamiliar vampire stumbled into the room holding a tray full of food. It was
just oatmeal, with raisins, but it smelled like heaven to me. My stomach took
the opportunity to make itself known.
“Breakfast first then, I guess,” Spike
laughed. The minion left, dumping the tray unceremoniously on
my lap, all the while under Spike‘s watchful scowl. We just sat in silence
while I ate my porridge and orange juice. I wasn’t even able to eat all of it.
“All done? Don’t worry, your stomach has
shrunk. You’ll get your appetite back,” Spike assured me, before removing the
tray and sitting back down even more uncomfortably close to me. I just nodded.
I jumped when Spike ran his knuckles
softly against the week’s worth of stubble on my cheek. “What are you
doing?”
“Touching you,” he answered simply.
“Stop it,” I demanded trying to brush
his hand away.
“No,” he said simply, shaking his head.
Why was he playing with me like this?
“Why are you doing this,” I whispered
trying to blink back tears. I felt betrayed.
“Because you’re my pet and I can touch
you if I like.”
“I get it. Angelus said you had to claim
me or he’d kill Dawn, but what’s with the head games now Spike?”
“It wasn’t a one time thing Xander.
Angelus has made it clear that not only was I to claim you as a pet, I am to
use you as such. If I don’t, the deal to protect Dawn is forfeit. He also promised
to turn you over to the minions. Their playthings don’t have a very long
lifespan, pet,” Spike told me.
“Can’t you just tell him that you’re
using me?” I asked hopefully. Already knowing that would never work.
“He’d be able to smell the truth. You already
know that. I’m sorry Xander, but you need to get used to the idea of being
buggered.”
“Can’t we just take Dawn and leave?”
“If we could, I would have already Pet.
He’s just too strong right now. With his new childer there are just too many of
them.”
“I don’t know if I can go through that
again Spike,” I admitted, refusing to meet the vampires gaze.
I heard Spike sigh before he took my
chin and gently forced me to meet his eyes. “It won’t be like last time. He’s
agreed, provided I make use of you, that I can treat you however I like. I
promise you Xander, it will never be like the last time again. I’ll always try
to make it as painless and enjoyable for you as I can.”
Spike just smiled at me when I snorted.
“10% of the world is bent, there must be something there. All I want you to do
is try to relax and not fight it. All right? That’s all you have to worry
about. Let me take care of the rest. I promise I’ll do my best to take care of
you for the rest of our time together.” I suppose that I should have been
grateful he didn’t say “for the rest of your life.”
“As your slave,” I replied bitterly.
“We can only play the cards we’ve been
dealt, Pet. Speaking of the more unpleasant aspects of our new relationship, I
have something for you.”
“What’s that?” I asked skeptically.
“Your collar,” He answered evenly,
standing up and moving away from the bed.
“My what?” I demanded angrily. If the
bleached out freak thought…
“Sorry Pet. It was non-negotiable. He
insisted,” the souled vampire sighed, walking over to the large dresser on the
other side of the room and collecting a beautifully polished cherry wood box
with mahogany inlays. Holding it front of himself, Spike crossed the room and
came to sit next to me again. “There you are,” he said simply, handing me the
box. Spike quirked an eyebrow at me as I began to snicker, it was such a
familiar look that it was actually comforting.
“I’m sorry. It’s just that the box and
the way you gave it to me, it’s almost like you’re proposing.”
“In a way pet, that collar is as
important as a wedding band. It symbolizes my commitment to you and, of course
your submission to me. Open it, Xander,” he requested. He almost looked
nervous.
I felt clumsy as I worked open the
case’s latch. “Wow,” I gasped, fingering the finely worked leather collar
inside. “It’s actually really nice, I guess.”
“Glad you like it. Do you need help
putting it on?”
“Yeah probably,” I answered. My hands
were shaking and I don’t think I actually could have managed.
He smiled at me, taking the rich leather
from my hands and stretching it against my throat. “There my lovely,” Spike
chuckled, as he buckled up the collar. I looked down, certain that my cheeks
were burning. “It actually looks good on you, Pet”
“So now what?” I asked him uncertainly.
“Now we survive, Pet. At least until I
can figure out how to get us and the Bit the Hell out of here.”
“Any idea how we’re going to do that?” I
asked. I really would have liked to hear a brilliant master plan right then.
Although Spike, he was never really great at the master planning.
“None whatsoever. There’s one more thing
Xander,” he told me uneasily.
“What’s that?” I asked. Spike’s whole
demeanor was making me nervous. It was plain he didn’t think I was going to
react well to what he was about to say. He was right.
“According to vampiric law Angelus is
the leader of my clan, as such he is afforded certain privileges. For one
thing, myself and his childer belong to him. He can do practically anything he
wants to us. As a result anything that we posses in turn also belongs to him.
Do you understand what I’m saying, Pet?” Spike asked evenly.
It took a second for what he’d just said
to register. It took another second to remember that according to demonic law I
was now his property. I just started shaking my head in denial. “No please,
please don’t make me, Spike,” shit, I was crying again.
Spike didn’t even hesitate. He just
pulled me into his arms and I let him. He should have been the last person I’d
want touching me, but he was unfortunately also the only source of comfort I
had at the time.
“If it ever does happen it won’t be my
choice. Just remember no matter what he does, I will always take care of you.
Besides, he’s never shown that kind of interest in you. If that’s what he
wanted he could have kept you for himself. You’re not really his type, Pet.
There’s no need to worry about that today. I just wanted you to be aware and
prepared for the possibility.”
“Jesus, any other nasty
surprises?”
“Not that I can think of, no. But this
is the Hellmouth after all.”