| Beautiful Philosophies |
| One in every four Americans has some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, than its you. There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water. Smoking kills, and if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. People have the right to be stupid, but some abuse that privilege. Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. National Atheism Day: April 1st!!! This one is great!!!- When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago. The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian "pauks" his "cah" the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl wells." |
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| The Birth of A Candy Bar One PAYDAY, MR.PEANUT wanted a BIT O'HONEY, so he took MARY JANE behind the POWERHOUSE on the corner of CLARK and FIFTH AVENUE. He began to feel her MOUNDS. That was pure ALMOND JOY. It made her TOOTSIE ROLL. He let out a SNICKER as his BUTTERFINGER went up her JUICYFRUIT and caused a MILKYWAY. She screamed OH HENRY as she squeezed his PETER PAUL and ZAGNUTS. MARY JANE said, "You are even better than the THREE MUSKETEERS." Soon she was a bit CHUNKY and nine months later had a BABYRUTH. |
| WARNING: This content below is dirty, so it is not recommended for younger people. Yeah, they probably won't get it though.......... |