Warnings: This story contains incestuous thoughts and graphic sex. Read at your own risk.

Twenty-six years spending nearly every waking moment with him, and his every action still sends sparks through my body. His every move still affects me. I need him near me to function correctly. Is it even right for any one person to be so completely dependent on another?

Every night we perform together, and his voice still rules my emotions. When he sings "The Truth" it still nearly brings tears to my eyes, every fucking night. I still laugh at him every time he grabs himself. (Of course, that simple action has some other effects on me, but I'll spare you the details.)

Normal people get used to such simple actions. Normal people are affected by something the first few times, but eventually stop reacting, stop noticing. Not me. I'm not normal. I'm sick, twisted, incestuous. I'm in love with my twin brother. It's wrong in so many ways.

I used to love performing. Now I hate it. I hate it, but I need it. I need to hear Joel, watch Joel, see him enjoy himself. But being so near to him, without having him, is torture. Playing is painful, because I can't share the joy of performance with Joel anymore. But seeing Joel perform fills me with love. He is never as happy as when he is performing. Only one person can make him as happy as when he is performing. His boyfriend. Billy. Not me. I can't ever have my beautiful, lovely, gorgeous, happy brother.

But I still have to perform. I have to put on a good show for the fans. I should win an award for acting, because despite the torture it is for me to perform with Billy and Joel every night, I still manage to put on an awesome energetic show for the crowd. I jump around, I smile, I headbang. If anything, my performances have gotten crazier and more energetic than they were before Joel and Billy got together. No one suspects my unhappiness. Only Tony knows what I am feeling. He's the only one who will listen, who will understand me and accept me. I don't know what I'd do without him.

Right now, Joel is singing "Chronicles". He's so sexy when he sings. It is a very good thing that I play guitar. Otherwise, people in the crowd would be noticing some stuff they needn't notice. "Chronicles" ends and we start our finale. I think its "Predictable." I'm not sure. All the songs start to seem the same after a while. Joel is singing with so much passion and emotion. It really is amazing. The crowd is singing right along with him. I remember how much I used to love this. The energy of performing was always so fun. I miss that. Finally, the song ends and we wave good-bye to the crowd as we exit the stage.

When we get backstage, Tony is waiting for us. He congratulates us on our performance and beckons for me to sit down nest to him. Joel and Billy take another couch, and Paul and Chris take the third. Billy cuddles against Joel, the two exchanging disgustingly loving glances that rip my heart into pieces. Tonight is the four month anniversary of their first date. I just wish I could be the one to make Joel that happy.

Tony sees that they are getting to me. He picks up a pillow and throws it at them. "You two lovebirds save that for later," he says. "We don't wanna see it."

I smile at him gratefully. What would I do without him?

"What are we doing tonight?" asks Paul.

"Party!" said Tony. Joel and Billy exchange a look and just smile.

"Partying sounds good to me," I put in.

"Hey Benj, I met this really hot chick before the show. She'd love you to death. Interested?" asks Joel.

"Great," I think. "Now my brother is trying to set me up with a groupie."

Tony jumps in so I can avoid the question. "Chris, Paul, you guys partying with us tonight?"

"You know it," says Paul.

Chris nods. "I'm ready to let loose," he adds.

"Lets go then," said Tone. He gets up and heads for the back door. I follow him out, and the rest of the guys filedout behind me. Joel and Billy head for the tour bus, but the rest of us head for the van. Tony hops in the driver's seat and I jump in the front. Paul and Chris climb into the back. Tony pulls out and hits the highway. "Where you guys wanna go?" he asks.

"I don't care, as long as there is alcohol," I say.

"Of course, Benj." Tony says. "Alcohol coming right up."

We ride on in silence for a while before Tony stops into a run down gas station. He gets out of the car and goes inside. When he comes back out he says, "Okay, I got directions to the shittiest bar with the loosest whores and the best alcohol."

Paul and Chris whoop in the back seat, and I can't help but cheer up a little. Shitty bars mean more fun and less press. Tony gets back in the car and we get back on the road.

After about ten minutes and countless back roads, we finally find the place. It is just what I need tonight. We hop out and head inside. The bar is definitely shady, but the lights are low, the music is loud, and the alcohol is flowing. Tony stays with me as Paul and Chris head out to the dance floor, instantly getting the hottest chicks. Being in a band has its perks.

Tony and I get beers from the bar and drink them while we scope out the scene. The girls are definitely hot, and none of them seem to be trying to hard to impress us, which is a nice change of pace. If I was straight, I would be having a field day. What irony. I can finally get girls, and I don't want them anymore.

A guy catches Tony's eye and he runs off to dance with him. I head back to the bar for another beer. The bartender serves me, and after a while, the alcohol starts to loosen me up. I decide to hit the dance floor as a cool song comes on.

Tony sees me and crosses to the room to dance with me. He really is a good dancer. We quickly find a rhythm as the lights dance around us to the beat of the music. Different colors swim across our faces as the music fills our ears. I am having a blast. Tony's butt rubbing against my crotch is starting to get to me though, and he notices, because he is dancing even closer now. I'm laughing and smiling and having a ton of fun squirming against Tony's hot body. He may be my best friend, but I can definitely still appreciate how attractive he is.

When the song changes, Tony turns around to face me. He grabs my ass and pulls me closer to him, rubbing his groin into mine. He feels so good. I know I'm gonna start leaking soon. It's a good thing I'm wearing black.

Tony's face is close to mine, and we keep eye contact the whole time we dance. He has a devious smile on his face as he continues to swivel his hips against mine. He knows he has me right where he wants me.

Normally when we go to clubs together, Tony and I don't hook up. But once in a while, when the selection is sucky, or if one of us has been feeling down and needs more than meaningless sex with a stranger, Tony and I will get together. I looks like tonight is going to be one of those nights. That's fine with me me, because I just don't feel up to seducing a stranger. I always tend to compare new guys to Joel, and I don't want to think about him. Tony is one of the only people that can get my mind off of my brother, and tonight, thats all I need.

The music changes again, slowing down a little. Tony finally closes the gap between our faces. His mouth crashes over mine, dominating. I don't mind submitting tonight, it's probably my turn anyway. I don't really remember.

Tony smells really good. I wonder how he manages to still smell good after playing a concert and dancing for an hour. However he does it, it's nice. Kissing Tony is nice too, but right now I need to stop. The alcohol, and the lights, and the kissing are starting to make me dizzy. I whisper to Tony, "You wanna take this to the couches in the back?"

"Sounds good to me," he says. He is definitely feeling dominant tonight, because he takes my hand and drags me to the couches. He throws me down onto one of them before straddling me and leaning down to kiss me some more.

His warm tongue plunges into my moth. He tastes like beer. As I explore his mouth, he begins to girate his hips down against mine, creating wonderful pressure against my acing erection.

His rhythm increases and moans begin to escape my lips. His hands are wandering all over my body, pinching my nipples, massaging my neck, teasing my thighs. He slips his cool hands under my shirt and rubs my chest, sending shivers down my spine. His tongue is still caressing mine with a languid rhythm. His warm breath tickles my neck. All of these things are sending me into a sensory overload. I know I'm leaking like a drippy faucet. Tony probably is too. If we don't stop soon, even our black clothes won't be able to do anything for us.

"Hmm, Tone...god...hmm...we've gotta stop. We can't do this here. Mmm, fuck Tone that feels good, mmm"

"Yea, I know, but Chris and Paul aren't gonna be ready to leave yet," says Tony, still moving his warm groin against mine.

"The van's big, we could go out there until they are ready to leave," I explain.

"Ok, good idea," replies Tony. He climbs off of me with a groan, pulling his hoodie down to hide his erection. I stand up and do the same before following Tony, who is already half way to the door.

"Damn, he's got a cute ass," I think, as I weave across the dance floor. The cool night air stings my face as I exit the bar. Tony is at the van, waiting for me impatiently. When I get close, he pulls me to him, kissing me again eagerly. Behind me he slides the van door open and pushes me inside. He crawls in on top of me and slides the door shut behind him.

"You're so fucking hot, Benj."

"You too, Tone," I say while I try to sit up slightly. I find the latch to the middle seat of the van and pull it. The seat leans back, lying flat. I climb on top of it and push the seat belts down under the seat.

Once again, Tony climbs on top of me. He had taken his shirt off while I was fixing the seat, and now his is working on pulling mine off. The air is cool against my now bare chest, but the temperature change combined with Tony's persistent groping is quite erotic. Tony pushes me into a lying position on top of the seat. The coarse texture of the car seat is rough against my back, but again, it feels erotic.

Tony fumbles with my belt for a few seconds before I reach down and undo it for him. Wasting no time, he pulls my pants off and throws them into the pile with our shirts. His pants soon follow.

His anxious hands begin to wander again, caressing every part of my waiting body. I pull him down on top of me, kissing him once more. His hands land between us, rubbing my aching cock while his eager tongue ravishes my mouth. His piercing blue eyes are looking straight into mine the whole time, but I am finding it difficult to keep mine open.

His skilled hands jerk my now moist groin faster, causing moans and sighs to flow from my mouth constantly.

"Oh...mmm...ahh...fuck me Tony,"

"My pleasure, you got lube?"

"Its in the front pocket of my backpack."

"Okay," he says, kissing me once more before climbing off of me and crawling into the front seat..

I can hear him searching my bag, and I silently will him to move faster. My skin is cold without him on top of me.

Another minute and he's straddling me again. He squirts some of the lube onto his fingers before setting the tube aside. His fingers soon find my warm hole and begin to tease it. He slips a finger in and out a few times, sending mild tingles up my spine. As he slips a second finger in, he uses his spare hand to start pumping my cock again. The combination of sensations starts to overwhelm me as he slips his two fingers in and out of me rapidly to loosen me up.

"Ahh, fuck, Tony, I need you inside of me. Please fuck me Tony."

"You're so sexy when you talk dirty to me, Benj," Tony says as he grabs the lube and coats his cock in it. He moves closer to me and I can feel the pressure of his cock at my entrance.

He slams into me suddenly, and I cry out in pain and pleasure. He filling me so completely, it feels as if I'm being ripped in two, but the sensations from him slamming against my prostate are mind-blowing. He pulls out somewhat slowly before slamming into me again. After several minutes of this repetitive motion, the pain ceases completely. Tony's thrusts become deeper and faster. He hits my spot every time, causing me to scream and shudder in pure ecstasy.

"Ahh... Tony... you... are... soo... fucking... good... fuck... me... Tony... harder.. Ohh... shit... fuck... oh god... Tony... so... good."

"Oh... Benji... soo... tight... feels... soo... good... Benj... oh... fuck Benj."

His thrusts keep getting harder and faster, and I can tell he is getting close. I am getting close too. As Tony nears his peak, he begins to jerk me off again, if possible, increasing my pleasure. Moments later I am screaming from my release. My cum coats my chest as Tony continues to pound my ass. His own climax comes and I can feel his warmth coat my insides. His thrusts continue as he rides our his orgasm completely. Finally, he collapses of top of me, exhausted. He is breathing heavily, and I can feel his warm breath against my neck.

"God, Benj, that was incredible. You're incredible."

"Thanks Tone. You're incredible too," I say, still breathing hard. And for once, Joel is the last thing on my mind.

"Thanks, Tone, for everything."

"No problem Benj. What are best friends for?"