I wake up smiling, and roll over in the bed to plant a kiss on the lips of the man with his arms wrapped around me. I quickly recoil when I realize that the strong arms belong not to Benji, but to his twisted, murderous brother. God, everything I'm doing right now is so, so wrong. Joel killed my boyfriend, and yet here I am, snuggled in the comfort of his arms. If Benji's looking down on me right now, I hope he understands. I hope he doesn't hate me for clinging to Joel like he's everything I have. He's by far the closest thing I can ever get to the man I love now. He's my life support - without him, I would've slit my wrists by now.

Joel doesn't seem to notice my alarmed reaction, as a smile plays on his lips and he pulls his arms a little tighter around me. "Morning, Billy."

I push him away gently, pushing my covers down and swinging my legs over the side of the bed. If I don't look at him, I can keep on pretending. "Good morning, baby."

I can't believe I just said that. The words just slipped out so easily. I feel the bed shift and then his arms are wrapped around my waist and I can feel the warmth of his bare chest against my back. He rests his chin on my shoulder and I close my eyes as he mumbles into my ear. "We better get out of here."

I nod slowly and he releases me, hopping off of the bed. I stand up, not nearly as energized as the man who's now humming and bobbing his head as he pulls some clothes on. I'm guessing last night made him pretty happy. By the time I'm dressed, he's already eaten and grabbed his keys. "C'mon, Billers, no time to dawdle!"

Oh my God, did he just say 'dawdle'? He is chipper this morning. "Yeah, yeah, I'm getting there," I grumble, checking the ingredients on the cereal packet before pouring myself a bowl, "just a sec."

"Just a sec."

I shovel some of the cereal down my throat while Benji paces impatiently by the door. "Come on, Joel's already waiting in the car."

I stand up from the table, hurriedly shoving the not-quite-empty bowl in the sink and pushing my chair in behind me - I get in trouble with my surrogate mother otherwise. I chew and swallow as quickly as I can, grabbing my backpack from the floor as I head out of the kitchen. Benji follows close behind me. I love everything about him. Everything. I love his careful footsteps as he tries to walks slowly so he doesn't tred on the back of my feet, I love the way he gently puts his hands on my shoulders to urge me to hurry up, I love the way he twists my upper body ever-so-slightly when he wants me to change the direction I'm walking in.

I love the way he held me last night, warm breath tickling my face like soft kisses.

When I get to the front door, I put my hand on the handle to open it, but the warmth of his hand envelopes mine as he stops me from turning the knob. I frown and turn around to look at him, confused, and he stares back at me with those deep brown eyes. In that moment, I'm scared he can see into my soul and read my every thought, that he can look past the cover and see the damage - the real damage - that's been done. His face moves closer to mine, and when he speaks, there's nothing more than a couple of inches of air separating his lips from mine. "Wait, Billy."

I just stare into his beautiful eyes, really, really confused, as he leans towards me, closing the gap between us, pressing his soft lips against mine. I freeze for a moment, wide-eyed in shock. This is everything I wanted. He's kissing me. Benji Combs, the hottest, sweetest, most perfect human being to ever grace the earth with his presence, is kissing me. I finally manage to engage my brain, and my hands slowly, shakily creep up to his face, cupping his chin as I return the gentle pressure of his kiss.

Then it's over, far too soon, and his trademark grin is lighting up his perfect features. He blushes and pulls me into a quick hug, then reaches for the door handle. "Okay. We can go now."

I rise from my chair and shove my bowl in the sink, heading for the door that Joel is standing beside, tapping his foot impatiently. I can feel his eyes on me as I pick up my bag and reach for the door handle, then I freeze as his hand rests on mine. I know he's still watching my face, waiting for me to look at him. "Wait, Billy."

I turn slowly and look into his deep brown eyes, identical to Benji's, conveying exactly the same emotions as his were so long ago. His eyes bore into mine and I get that same creepy feeling, like something crawling under your skin and working its way into your brain, invading your most private thoughts and dreams and exposing them for everyone to see.

He keeps watching my eyes as his face moves closer, and then they flutter closed as his lips touch on mine.