"Benji," I shriek, "if you don't slow down, you're going to kill all three of us!"

He shifts down a gear to swerve around a corner, and I hear the screeching of tyres behind us, and I know Tony's rounded the same corner at the same ridiculous speed. Then he places his hand on my knee. I am so not comfortable with him driving with one hand at this kind of speed. "Joel, when I left with Tony, what did I tell you?"

I can't forget those words. They're etched into my brain, and for those lonely days afterwards, I repeated them to myself over and over, trying to make my voice sound exactly like his, as if I could relive the moment. "You said 'No matter what happens, I love you'."

He nods. At least he's not taking his eyes off the road to look at me. "And then what did I say?"

I place my hand over top of his and run the tip of my index finger along the length of his thumb. "'Don't lose faith in me. I'll fix things'."

He pulls his hand away and grips the steering wheel as we round another corner. There are cars flying past, but they're merely more than flashes of colour and tooting horns. We're entering a slightly more suburban area now, though, so the traffic is easing up. At least if we crash, we're not going to kill quite so many people. "Have you lost faith in me, Joel?"

I look at his face, alarmed. Then I gently place my hand on his shoulder and lean over to kiss his cheek. "Of course not. I could never lose faith in you."

He glances at me for half a second. "Then trust me, okay? Trust me to get us through this."

"I trust you."

And I do. I know now that he'd do anything for me. He'd put his own life on the line in a second, but he won't let anything happen to me. He's trying as hard as he can to get Tony off of our trail without killing all of us, and I know if I was driving, I wouldn't be able to do it. If I was driving this fast, I would've crashed half an hour ago. I guess it's a good thing that Benji has a lot of experience when it comes to driving like an idiot. He used to race around a lot, most of the time I think it was just to scare the shit out of me. It always worked. I'd be freaking out, screaming at him to slow down, and he'd just laugh at me. If it weren't for the lunatic in the BMW behind us, it'd be just like old times. I glance over at my brother, then turn away. Double take. "Benji, do you not even have your seatbelt on?!"

He shakes his head and lifts one arm off of the steering wheel so I can pull it across his chest for him. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Tony's car coming up behind us. And it's getting close. In fact, pretty soon it's going to rear-end us, and at this speed, the slightest nudge is going to send this tiny bug of a car rolling. "Benji, speed the fuck up!"

He glances in the rear view mirror and curses under his breath before putting his foot down. The car lurches a little as it's urged to stretch the limits of its capabilities. We're on a straight, empty stretch of road now, somewhere just outside of New York city. Then Benji says something that I really, really don't want to hear. "Joel, I think we're running out of gas."

I lean over and look at the gauge, which is hovering just over empty. Under normal circumstances, that wouldn't be so bad, but we're going through a lot of gas at the moment. "Fuck," I mutter, "what are we going to do?"

He shakes his head, biting down on his lip, and he looks gorgeous. I mean, stressed, scared, almost about to cry, but so fucking beautiful. I lean over and kiss his neck once softly, unable to restrain myself, and a slight smile forms on his face. I pull away. As much as I want to touch him, hold him, and kiss him right now, I don't think it's the best time to be distracting him. "I dunno, Joel," he sighs, "I'll figure something out."

I glance behind us again, and Tony's gaining on us. Benji notices and speeds up further, and I wonder what's going to come first - running out of gas, or the car overheating. I realize all of a sudden how much I'm trembling. If I was shaking any more than I am, anyone would think i was having a seizure. Benji's tense, but not shaking at all. Calm. In control. It's just the way he is - the way he's always been. I look from my shaky hands to his face more times than I care to count. "Benji, I'm scared."

That's all I am right now. I'm a scared little child who needs his big brother to look after him. Somehow, two little minutes made a huge difference in our attitudes. It was never Josh that took care of me, it was Benji. When I used to get beat up at school, Benji would come to my rescue. When I did something wrong, Benji would pull my hoodie over his head and take Dad's beatings for me. When Dad left, Benji held me close and told me everything would be okay. When Mom had her breakdown, Josh freaked out, and Benji took on three part-time jobs just to make sure Sarah and I had food in our stomachs. He never lets anything get him down - he's a soldier. Which is why what he says next surprises me. "So am I, Joel."

I resist the urge to scream, "But you're Benji! You're not afraid of anything!" Instead, I reach over and let my fingertips brush his knuckles. "Benj, I love you."

He smiles. "Love you too."

Bang. The back windscreen cracks and splinters, and I look back in horror. Tony's leaning out of his window. "Shit, Benji, the gun! We didn't take the gun!"

"Get the fuck down, Joel!"

I duck my head and he shuffles down as far as he can without taking his eyes off of the road. I know I'm sobbing in fear, and I feel like such a fucking pussy sitting next to this brave warrior, but I let the tears flow anyway. There's another bang and the back windscreen shatters altogether, and a hole appears in the front one. Benji bites down on his lip. "Joel, brace yourself."

I grip the dashboard and he yanks the steering wheel to the left as hard as he can, not even slowing down to turn onto some random dirt road - probably a farm road.

Everything that happens next seems to go in slow motion. I turn my head around, and I can see the expression on Tony's face. The surprise as he tries to pull his steering wheel around, but he's taken the corner too late. The horror as he realizes that he's headed straight for a powerpole.

The car jerks as my brother slams on the brakes, and the airbags activate. I can't see anything anymore, but I can hear the sickening crunch of metal, and the creaking of the powerpole tipping. I can hear it all so clearly that I can almost see it. I can even see the blood. So much blood.

When the car's come to a grinding, stalling halt, I breathe again. "Benji? You okay?"

Silence. I reach out and try to shove his airbag away from his face so I can see him. "Benji?"

His head turns slowly, and I breathe a sigh of relief as he looks at me. "Thanks for putting on my seatbelt."

I press the button on his and free him from it, then unfasten my own and shove the door of the car open. I'm careful not to look in the direction of Tony's car - I don't think I can see something like that without Benji's arm around me. I run around to his side and open the door for him, and he climbs out. He looks at me for a moment and then pulls me into his arms, sobbing openly onto my shoulder. I hug him close for a few moments. "Benj, we have to see if Tony's okay."

He nods his agreement and takes my hand in his, leading me towards the wreckage. There are bits of metal scattered all over the road, and the car itself is so twisted that it doesn't look like it could have possibly been a car. The powerpole is on a funny angle, and I'm worried it's going to fall down and crush the little BMW even further. Benji squeezes my hand gently, then tugs me closer. I keep stopping, and he keeps urging me on until we're right beside the driver's door. I take one look at the mess inside the window and turn away to vomit. I can't look at that. I don't think I've ever thrown up more in my life, even though I haven't eaten in hours. I'm worried I'm going to toss up all my internal organs.

Benji just stands patiently, rubbing my back with one hand. When I'm finally done, I stand up straight but I still can't face the car. I see Benji reach in, and I guess he's checking Tony's pulse, because he confirms what I could have told him from that one brief glance in the window. "He's dead."

We reach for each other at the same time and each of us cry into the other's shoulder. Each twin is sure that the only thing keeping them standing right now is the other. He's my wall. He's what I lean on when everything else has broken down.

I don't know how long we stand like that, but we don't pull apart until another car comes along and the driver hurriedly calls an ambulance on his cell phone. We sit on the side of the road, burying our heads in our hands, and I say the only thing I can think of.

"I'm sorry."

We lift our heads to look at each other simultaneously. "For what?"

I shrug. "For being weak when you're so strong. For freaking out when you're so calm. For being who I am."

He wraps his arm around my waist and rests his head on my shoulder. "Don't be stupid, Joel," he murmurs, "I love who you are."