As soon as Tony takes a step towards us, Benji's on his feet, scrambling for his Dickies. "Tony, please, this isn't what it looks like!"

I know he doesn't really intend to explain anything, he's just trying to buy some time. He tosses me my own pants and I hurriedly pull them on under the covers as Tony turns to face my brother. "Oh, of course not," he snarls, "because, see, from this angle it looks like you were naked in bed with your brother and you have white sticky stuff that looks suspiciously like come all over you."

I fasten my fly and go to climb out the the bed too, but Tony holds up his hand in my direction, and I stop short when I see what's in it. I'm staring down the barrel of a handgun. "If you move, Joel, I will shoot you."

He cocks it with his thumb and his finger hovers over the trigger. I glance at my brother, who just stares back at me with sad eyes, his expression helpless. I don't expect him to help me - there's nothing he can do. In all honesty, he could shoot me right now, and at least I'd die happy. At least Benji would know that I love him more than anything in this world or the next, and I'll be waiting for him. Having faith makes the prospect of death seem far less daunting. Of course, I have just commited a mortal sin, but surely God can't refuse a love as pure as ours? "Maybe that is what it looks like, Tony," Benji's voice is soft, "but it didn't mean anything. You know how I feel about you."

Even though I know he'd say anything to calm Tony down right now, it kills me to hear him say that what just happened didn't mean anything. It meant everything. "I thought you loved me."

Tony's voice is pathetic and childlike. It's shaky and scared, and I wonder if he's holding back tears. "And once upon a time, I thought you loved me, Tony. But you never did."

"Bullshit," he screams, "I did love you! I still love you! You want me to pull this fucking trigger and show you how much?"

I can only sit and tremble in fear. "If you loved me, you wouldn't do that."

"Why not?" I swear he's spitting venom, "Why wouldn't I kill the man who's taken you away from me?"

Benji takes a couple of cautious steps towards him. So calm, so in control, so everything I'm not. He always knows what to say and when, no matter how much stress he's under, no matter how bad the circumstances. He's always protected me, and he's still continuing that role today. Our relationship may have changed, but his big-brother instincts haven't. "Because that would hurt me," he says softly, "you don't want to hurt me, do you?"

Tony's hand quivvers in the air for a moment, then he drops the gun on the floor and I breathe a quiet sigh of relief. "You hurt me," he whispers softly, "you hurt me bad."

Benji kicks the gun away and I'm scared the trigger's going to get knocked around and go off, but it doesn't. I still don't move from my position on the bed, though, I'm not entirely certain that Tony couldn't rip my throat out with his bare hands in about half a second flat. "you hurt me too, Tony."

The thing that really irks me is taht Tony looks completely oblivious. Like none of this was ever his fault. Like he didn't drive us closer and closer. "How?"

Everything that I've been thinking boils over at once. "You used to beat the shit out of him, you fucking asshole! You were jealousd and angry when he wasn't doing anything, and he came to me for help," I glare into his shocked eyes, "Benji loved you more than anything and you fucked up, over and over again, 'til you drove him into the arms of the one person who really loved him. Don't you get it? This is your fault!"

In an instant, gentle, scared Tony is gone and angry psycho Tony is back. Okay, so maybe I shouldn't have said some of those things, but it was only the truth. He clenches his fists and just glowers at me for a couple of seconds, fuming, and then he leaps on me, holding me down with his left hand, and he raises his right fist. I squeeze my eyes shut.

I feel the blow, but it doesn't hurt nearly as much as I expected. It misses its target, glancing off of my chin. I open my eyes to see Tony being hauled off of me and tossed onto the floor like a ragdoll, and I hear a thunk as his head hits the corner of the bedside cabinet. Then Benji leans over me. His strong arms grab mine and haul me off of the bed and he starts towards the door. I struggle against him. I have to get the keys. My car keys. "Joel, we don't have time for you to get your fucking clothes right now."

"Car keys," I manage to squeak out, "in my hoodie."

He seems to consider this for about half a second, then nods and lets go of me, rushing over to grab my hoodie. I hear Tony groan as he starts to come around, and Benji tosses me the hoodie as the man struggles to his feet. There's blood pouring down his forehead and a grimace on his face. My brother drags me out of the room and towards the stairs, and we rush down ten flights of stairs in record time as I pull my hoodie around my shoulders. We look crazy, two half-dressed twins running through the hotel lobby, particularly him since he's got nothing covering his top half at all. The few people around give us some pretty weird looks, but we ignore them. "Where do you think you're going?!"

Tony's voice, not that far behind us. Damn, he recovered quick. He must not have hit his head very hard. We run out into the carpark. "Which car?"

I point at a gold Toyota Echo, and he rolls his eyes. "Joel, a granny car? That piece of crap better be able to fucking motor. Give me the keys."

We're both standing at the driver's side, and out of the corner of my eye I can see Tony walking into the carpark, coming towards us. "No fucking way. You drive like a maniac."

I don't know how he's grinning at a time like this, but he is. "Exactly."

I hand over the keys.