I've always found New York a little daunting, but even more so this time. I've never been here on my own before, I always at least had Benji by my side. I praise the Lord above for inventing the Global Positioning System as I pull into the hotel's parking lot. I've stayed at this place plenty of times before, but I've never had to navigate the streets alone. I guess I've gotten pretty used to other people doing things for me.

I'm five minutes late, so Tony should be well and truly gone by now. I park the car and quickly check my hair and makeup in the rear view mirror - I'm behaving like a twelve-year-old girl on her first date, I know, but it kinda feels that way at the moment. I'm giddy and shaky with excitement and nerves. It had taken me an hour to decide what to wear, and when I'd finally settled on my MADE hoodie and black Dickies, Paul had tut-tutted at me. I frowned. "What? What's wrong with this?"

He shrugged. "That hoodie is going to draw the attention of every GC fan in New York city. Which will draw attention to your face. You should wear it, though, if you want to be hounded by TRL teenies."

I pouted a little. He was probably right - I'd never get to the hotel on time if I had to deal with hundreds of pre-pubescent girls first - but I knew Benji thought I looked good in this hoodie.

So I toned down the hair and the makeup and pulled on a white hoodie, attempting to look less like Joel Madden, lead singer of Good Charlotte, and more like Nobody Important. It was hard to balance the looking good for Benji and the looking like a regular guy.

Wow. I am so gay.

I walk in through the front doors into the lobby, scanning quickly before my eyes lock onto his. He grins his silly grin as he walks towards me, and I feel like my heart's going to explode in my chest. The emotions flowing through my body are making it damn near impossible to move, or smile, even breathe. Scratch that - I'm smiling ear to ear, and I didn't even realize it. He just stands there in front of me for a few seconds, grinning, and then pulls me into a hug. It's brief but tight, and I know he wants to let go about as much as I do. Which is not at all. "Cameras," he murmurs, "lobby, elevator, and in the hallway of every floor."

I nod my understanding and we head for the elevator together in silence. I want so badly to reach out and touch him; to hug him and kiss him and run my hands over every inch of his beautiful body. I can't stop staring at him as the elevator ascends, and he can barely tear his eyes away from me, either. "You look good, Benj."

I'm not lying. He's taken as much care in his appearance as I have, maybe more. His clothes are new, and I figure he probably had to buy new ones, since he didn't take any of his stuff from the hotel in Baltimore. He's wearing a black dress shirt with white pinstripes, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, revealing the colourful ink collection on his arms. He's wearing black Dickies like my own and black Chuck Taylor's. His midnight hair falls to his ears, and it's parted to the side so it sweeps across his forehead, drawing attention to the dark eyes that glint beneath. They're lined carefully in black and smudged at the corners. I feel like an idiot. I spent all this time trying not to look like me, and everything about him screams Benji!

His pale cheeks flush a little as my eyes absorb every detail. "You look good too, Joel. Really good."

Now it's my turn to blush. You'd need a really, really sharp knife travelling at lightspeed to cut the sexual tension in this elevator right now. Luckily, I hear the ding as the door slides open and we step out. I follow my brother as he makes a beeline for the room he's sharing with Tony - I try to ignore that little fact - and he ushers me in before closing the door behind us.

About half a second later, his lips are on mine, and he's turned me around so my back is pressed up against the door. I let a soft moan roll out of my throat and into his mouth as his hands knead my shoulders, keeping me wedged firmly between the door and the warmth of his body, while his fingers massage my tense muscles. My hands find his face, and I brush my fingers gently along his cheeks and around until they become tangled in the hair on the back of his head. His lips are so firm on mine, wanting, needing, desperate, and I shivver in pleasure as the chills run up my spine, one after the other. His three lip rings rake along my bottom lip, and the feeling of cold steel on warm skin makes me feel dizzy. He opens his mouth and I take the invitation gratefully, slipping my tongue in to taste him. His tongue meets with mine and they dance around each other, competing for space and playfully fighting.

I grunt my disappointment as he pulls his lips away from mine, but when his arms slip around my waist I'm contented. I rest my chin on his shoulder as my own arms snake around him, and he begins to sing softly in my ear. "I haven't been this scared in a long time, and I'm so unprepared, so here's your valentine - bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody; this world's an ugly place," he pauses and plants a soft kiss on my lips, "but you're so beautiful to me."

I just snuggle into his arms, closing my eyes, and wonder for the billionth time why I'm the lead singer when he's the one blessed with the sexiest singing voice I've ever heard. Actually, now that I think about it, everything about Benji just oozes sex. Especially when he's pressed up against me like this, trailing scalding kisses down my neck and cooing in my ear. I try to speak, but I'm breathing too heavily to say more than a few words. "God, Benji," I suck in a breath as cold steel brushes my collarbone, "love you."

He sucks softly on one spot for a second before dragging his lips reluctantly away. My eyes meet with his and I can see the lust in them, which I suspect is mirrored in my own, but then he releases me and heads for the kitchen. I frown, instantly longing to be wrapped in his strong tattooed arms again. "You want something to eat?"

He pulls the fridge open and scans the contents, and I look down at myself. I have the biggest erection I've ever had in my life, and he's asking me if I want something to eat? And that wasn't a ruler in his pocket, either. I'm kinda only hungry for one thing right now. "No."

He doesn't turn to face me as I cross the room, walking up beside him. "A drink?"

I gently place my hand on his arm and he lifts his gaze to meet with mine. "No."

He looks dumbfounded. "What do you want, then?"

I smile and tug him into my arms, and he hugs me tightly as I purr into his ear. "The only thing I want is you, inside of me."

Emergency plane ticket? $200. Car rental? $60. The look on Benji's face when I tell him that I want him in me?

Priceless.