Chapter 08 - Wanna Get Myself Out Of This Bed
I'm awake, but my eyelids are too heavy to open them just yet. I can hear voices and footsteps. Benji's pacing around the small room in the hospital, muttering. "We could've killed him! We should've called an ambulance, we could've killed him, carrying him around like that."
Then another voice. Billy's. "But we didn't, Benj, he was fine."
I manage to drag my eyelids open, but my vision is blurry and my throat feels as if someone has shoved a hedgehog down there, so I'm content to just watch for now. I scan the room. Benji, Billy, Chris and...
My body jerks, sending ripples of agony through me, and I let out a silent scream. The last person I wanted to see right now is sitting in the corner of the room, normally gelled bleach-blonde hair buried in some stupid video game magazine. Benji sees me out of the corner of his eye and is by my side in an instant, carefully holding me still. "Don't move, Joely, you'll hurt yourself."
The blonde head looks up from the corner, turning to face me. Black mingles with blonde, and I sigh inwardly in relief. Paul. Of course it's Paul - why would they let Tony in here?
They've all crowded around my bed now, murmuring "How do you feel?" and "Are you okay?". I point at my throat, and then make a drinking motion to show I need water. I can't move the other hand without my chest feeling like it's going to explode. In about half a second, Benji's presented me with a glass, and I smile gratefully and take a drink, hands shaking. When I'm able to speak, it comes out raspy and hoarse. It doesn't sound like me. "I thought Paul was Tony. His hair."
Paul lifts his hand to his head and touches it, looking slightly guilty. As if he could've done anything about it. I take another gulp of water and my eyes are finally able to fully focus on Benji's smiling face. He's got some nasty bruises around his neck, which someone's tried unsuccessfully to cover up with makeup, and he looks really, really tired. "Benji hasn't left since you came in here," Chris says with a grin, answering one of my questions, "every time I come in here he's fallen asleep in the chair beside you."
I give my brother the best smile I can offer him right now, and he takes my hand and squeezes it. "I was so worried about you."
I frown, confused. It was just a bruise, what's he talking about? "Why? What happened?"
He sighs. "You had a couple of broken ribs, one of which had made a small puncture in your left lung. Do you remember when you passed out?" I nod, "Well, you weren't getting enough air. By the time we got you here..."
He trails off and bites his lip, chewing on one of his lip rings. Billy takes over. "The doctors weren't sure if you were gonna make it. It was only a tiny hole, but you were bleeding internally, and-"
"And that bastard could've killed you," Benji growls, cutting his friend off, "and we just made things worse by carting you around like that."
I just smile and close my eyes. "You didn't know," then my eyes snap open, "what about the tour?"
He shrugs. "With both Good Charlotte and Mest out of commission, we had to call it off. As soon as you're feeling better, we're heading back home for a few weeks, and then we'll have to come back."
Now he's lost me. "Mest is out of commission?"
He looks at the floor. "Tony's been arrested."
Arrested? That means that the police know the full story. That means that everyone knows the full story. There must be press and fans waiting right outside my window for a glimpse of any of us. So that's why the blinds are pulled, I'm guessing. "Then everyone knows what happened?"
Benji doesn't say anything. Paul and Chris look confused, and Billy speaks up, choosing his words carefully. I'm guessing he's the only one who knows that full story... he's the only one who knows exactly why Tony attacked us. "The police know that Tony got mad when Benji broke it off with him, and things got worse when you tried to stick up for him."
"The media. What do the media know?"
"Just that you were attacked. No details. Name supression."
This is a relief. I point to the window. "Are there people here?"
Benji nods and walks over to the window, pulling the blinds. Instantly, I can hear the sound of girls screaming. I start to laugh, but it hurts too much. "Open the window. Tell them I'm okay."
He shrugs and pulls the window open, and Paul walks over my his side. They stick their heads out, and there's a whole lot of cheering to be heard. When Paul yells, his voice booms. "Quiet, everybody!"
In a few seconds, the crowd has calmed down enough for Benji to yell over the top of them. "Joel is awake, and doing just fine!"
He goes to say something, but they're roaring too loud, so he gives up and closes the window with a shrug. "There's a lot of love out there for ya, Joel."
"Oh! Our patient is awake!"
Chris shifts out of the way so I can see the nurse in the door, and she quickly crosses the room to my bedside, checking my monitors, then glances around the room. "I know you're all excited because he's just woken up, but Mr. Madden could really do with some more sleep, he'll heal faster. Perhaps you could all come back tomorrow?"
I look at my brother, pleading with him with my eyes. "Benj..."
"I'm not leaving," he informs the nurse, "I won't bother him. He can sleep."
She purses her lips for a moment, looking like she's going to argue with him, and he folds his arms across his chest. He's a pretty short guy, but he can look rather intimidating when he wants to. "Alright. Make sure he sleeps, though."
"I will."
They all say their goodbyes and leave, including the nurse, and Benji stands beside my bed, gripping my hand in his once more. Then, once everyone's gone, I see his lower lip start to tremble, and silent tears fall down his cheeks. He sniffs but doesn't say anything, and I can only stare. Seeing him like that makes me want to cry, too. Finally, he manages to squeak out a few words without breaking down. "I was so scared."
I squeeze his hand gently, and then I let go of it, letting my index finger run along his jaw. "Don't be so worried, Benj, I'm fine now."
He nods and wipes away his tears, then smiles a shaky smile at me, cupping my face in his hands. "I'm so glad you're okay."
We stay in that position in comfortable silence for what seems like forever, but it's probably only a few seconds. "Benji?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
I can see his lip tremble again and I know he's trying to avoid crying again. "I love you too, Joel."
Then he leans down and presses his lips against mine, and I forget everything. I forget what happened, I forget touring, I forget where I am and I forget that I'm even in the slightest amount of pain. My tongue explores his mouth briefly before he pulls away from me. "You should get some sleep."
I pout but agree, and within minutes my eyelids are drooping and I'm lost in darkness once again.