Chapter 02 - Misery Awaits at Sydney International Airport
Benji hates flying. I thought it was something he'd get used to as we did it more and more, but he never did really get the hang of it. We're about to land in Sydney, Australia, and I know Tony's going to be waiting there when we arrive. I don't want to ever have to get off the plane. I know I'm just jealous, and Tony's really a great guy, but I can't help the way I feel.
But then again, something tells me it's more than just jealousy. Tony doesn't look at Benji the way I'd look at someone I loved. It's almost as if he looks down on him, as if Benji is his little toy.
Right now, my brother looks scared as hell. I take his hand in mine and squeeze it a little. "Don't worry, big bro, you've done this a million times before."
He nods stiffly, gritting his teeth, and doesn't reply. Even though we haven't had any turbulance for the entire flight, and we're being lowered to the ground as gently as you could imagine, he's still petrified. Paul, who's sitting on the other side of my twin, takes his other hand. "Just remember, in a few minutes you'll be with Tony again!"
Damn you, Paul. Thanks for reminding me.
This brings a little smile to Benji's face though, and his eyes become glazed over. His hand stops squeezing mine so tight and I try my hardest not to roll my eyes. Why does he have to love Tony so damn much?
We step off the plane about fifteen minutes later, and I can tell Benji's restraining himself from running down the corridor. He's not allowed to seem too excited, at least not in a big city like Sydney. There'll be plenty of snap-happy fans around to spoil his reunion with Tony if he takes it too far. Public displays of homosexual affection are pretty high on our manager's "Bad Publicity" list. I mean, he had a complete spaz when I was seen with my arm around Hilary Duff. I can't imagine what he'd do if Benji started making out with Tony in public.
We round the corner and are faced with a rather large crowd of fans - how they get our flight details, I'll never know. We wave, and smile, and do all of the things we're supposed to do. We sign a few autographs, but Benji's not really into it. He keeps searching the crowd for Tony. I haven't seen him yet, either. I get seperated from him, dragged away by a couple of girls begging me for a picture. I put on my famous "No Feelings" face and stick my arms around their shoulders, hoping I don't stink too bad. They've only just taken the shot when I hear his voice in my ear. "Hey, my boys are here!"
I turn and force a grin, and Tony pulls me into a hug. "How you been, man?"
He screws his face up. "Well, I've been missing my girlfriend, but she's here now, so it's all good."
I'd almost forgotten that we had to speak in code. "Oh, I think I saw your girl in that direction."
I point in the direction that I know Benji didn't go. As soon as he leaves, I feel pretty shit about doing this - I mean, my jealously really is getting to me if I'm pulling stunts like that. I don't have time to think about it much though, because before I know it, we're being rounded up by the security guards. I meet up with Benj again, and he looks like he might cry. "He didn't come," he whispers.
Okay, I could just comfort him and tell him it's okay, Tony didn't deserve him anyway, but I'm willing to bet that would come back and bite me in the ass. "Yeah, he did, Benj, I saw him over there."
This time I point in the direction Tony went, and just as I do, a blonde head emerges from the crowd and forces his way towards us. Security holds him back at first, but we tell the big guy he's cool, and he lets him pass. Benji gives him a "man hug" and murmurs his apologies in his ear, and Tony shrugs. "Don't worry, I know how it has to be."
Then a girl starts screaming at the top of her lungs. "Oh my God it's Benji! Benji's my baby! I love him!"
While Tony 'knows how it has to be', this doesn't stop him giving the poor girl a glare that could turn her to stone. He can be pretty scary.
Back at the hotel that night, I'm paired up with Billy again. Tony and Benji are in the next room, and I can hear them shouting at each other, but I can't hear what they're arguing about, as much as I strain my ears. All of a sudden, there's a hand waving in front of my face. "Hello? Earth to Joel, can you read me?"
I look up at Billy, and he smiles a little. "Want to watch Nightmare Before Christmas with me?"
I am so sick of that movie. The problem with sharing a room with Billy is that you're constantly subjected to the torture of watching the same movie over.... and over... and over...
And over.
Tonight, though, I don't have the energy to argue. "Sure," I mutter, and he puts it on.
Twenty minutes later, Billy is singing along to some song when I feel it. This gut-wrenching pain, like someone has just punched me in the stomach. Hard. Instantly, I start wheezing and gasping for breath. What the fuck?
Then Billy's put his arm around me. "Joel! Joel, are you okay?"
I nod, but tears are streaming from my eyes. "Joel, what's the matter? What the fuck is wrong?"
Hell, I don't know! What the hell is wrong? It's not like anything happened to me, I was just sitting here, and then...
Oh, shit.
"Benji," I choke out, and jump to my feet, clutching my stomach. He doesn't follow me, he just watches me go, open-mouthed. It's a twin thing. He wouldn't get it.
I pound on the hotel room door, but I'm still breathing too heavily to speak. Tony pulls the door open. "Shit. Shit, Joel, are you okay?"
"Where's Benji?"
It takes a whole lot of my strength to say those couple of words, but I can tell I'm slowly recovering. "We had a fight. He just left like half a minute ago."
You bastard. You hurt him, didn't you?
This thought shocks me. Tony wouldn't hurt Benji, would he? He loves him. I think. "What way?"
Tony points to the elevator, and I nod, turning towards it. "Joel, you sure you're okay?"
"Fine," I mutter through gritted teeth, "just gotta talk to my brother."