Chapter 01 - In Your Dreams!
"Oh God, Benj," I moan your name as your mouth becomes attached to my swollen cock, "that feels... so good!"
Just when I think it couldn't get any better, you deepthroat me and begin to hum at the same time. God, you're so good at this! You always know exactly what makes me - "Ooooooooh," I moan, all thought lost.
Your hand slips downwards and you push a finger into me, and I start to moan your name again. "Ooooh, Benji... Benji...Benji..."
"Okay, Joel, wake up."
What? What's happening? Why is Billy here? "Joel, wake the fuck up, I'm not gonna lie over here and listen to you dreaming about your brother."
Dreaming? Dreaming. Oh. God dammit!
My eyes snap open and I take in my surroundings. A hotel room. No Benji, just Billy in the other bed. Benji and I used to share hotel rooms, but I'd been asking to stay with Billy lately, just in case a situation like this should... ahem... arise. I don't think it would go down so well if my twin brother knew I was moaning his name in my sleep, while I pitched a gigantic fucking tent. "Sorry, Billy."
"It's okay, dude. Not like you can help it. But you need to tell him."
I laugh. I can't help it, the idea of telling your brother that you've been in love with them for as long as you can remember and you wish he'd just leave his boyfriend and come be with you is just so damn ridiculous. I can just imagine his reaction. His seriously disturbed reaction. "That's not going to happen, Billy."
A loud sigh from the bed across from me. I hear him shift in his bed and then he mumbles, "Goodnight, Joel."
I wish I could tell him. I wish we weren't twins so we could be together, and it would be okay. But then, I think, if we weren't twins, we wouldn't have the same connection that makes us so special. So right. I tell him all the time that I love him, but he doesn't understand the way I mean it, and I'm too afraid to tell him. I have to suffer through this, for him, and for Tony. They're in love, I just have to deal with that. I roll over and drift into a light, dreamless sleep.
"Love you, Joel."
I love it when he says it, and I hate it when he says it. I punch him lightly on the arm, then hug him. "Love you too, Benj."
If only you knew how much.
We're on tour, currently stationed in Wellington, New Zealand. I have to admit, I like this place a lot. Our first album went platinum here before anybody else in the world gave a damn about us. Unfortunately, it's hard to enjoy your time overseas when you're impossibly busy and the guy you're in love with won't stop fielding calls from his boyfriend, who happens to be the incredibly attractive Tony Lovato. Oh - and there goes the cellphone again. I pout, and he laughs and puts down his guitar. "Just a minute, Joel, the song can wait, right?"
I nod, and he puts his phone to his ear. "Hey babe, what's up? No, Joel and I were just writing a new song. I know, I miss you too."
I try to drown him out, but it's impossible. He sighs. "No, Tony, I'm not sleeping around while I'm on the road, alright? I love you. You know that. I'm faithful."
Tony seriously worries too much. Benji would never even think of cheating on him, and yet he gets so jealous. My brother's bi, like me, so he can't look at anyone without Lovato freaking out. "Benj, were you checking her out? Shouldn't you be paying more attention to your boyfriend, who you hardly ever see?"
And he hadn't even been checking her out. It was just a girl he recognized from the show the night before. But Tony had gone on and on about it like it was some huge deal. There's a hint of agitation in my brother's voice now. "Okay, Tony, I've got to get back to work. Love you too. Bye."
He hangs up his cell and screws up his face. "Why does he have to whine all the time?" he whines, and I laugh.
A couple of seconds later, he catches on, and laughs as well. "Don't worry, big bro, in three days time we'll be in Australia and he'll be there with you. Then he won't whine anymore."
His smile lights up his face as he figures out that I'm right. "I get to see my Tones in three days!"
He does a little dance before picking up his guitar again. "Alright, let's get back to work."
Three more days with Benji before life sucks again.