The Chasm

Death caused the stench that clung to the air as Hercules stumbled through the village. It was nauseating, and he felt sure he would lose it at some point. Whatever, or whoever, was responsible for this carnage must have been vicious.

His heart stopped as he felt something beneath his boot. It cracked beneath his weight in the blood softened ground.

Hercules stooped to see what he had broken, and his heart crashed as he picked up a green amulet with a deep crack etched through it. He unconsciously clasped it to his heart as he considered what must have happened for Iolaus to be without it.

His eyes continued their survey, but now they were searching in desperation. He stopped to comfort people as he questioned them about his friend. Their eyes were scorched with the fire of anguish, a wife without her husband, a child without its mother, a mother without her child. The agony they now faced were mirrored in his eyes.

"Have you seen my friend? He's blond, blue eyes, just about this tall and an amazing warrior?" He asked anyone who would listen until he reached an old grizzled warrior. He was aware of the loss around him, but he was not lost to the devastation himself. He looked at this anxious man and sighed.

"Yes, I've seen him. He fought like a man possessed. Believe it or not, we won this battle because of him. Doesn't look like we've won anything does it?" The old man sighed again, and an unaccustomed tear trailed down the wrinkles on his face. He looked up to see the anxiety on this man's face, and he continued.

"He drove them back, but not before they caused all of this. What kind of army kills women and children? What brave warriors kill old men and women in their sleep? I've lived too long. I wish they had...But you seek your friend. We had never seen anything like him before, and likely we'll never see anyone like him again. He not only fought the enemy, he directed several to safety. Why, see that orphanage? He stopped those killers from burning it and saved most of the children. I'm afraid he couldn't save them all. Some of the little ones panicked and ran right into the melee. He continued to fight until it was over. When they retreated, he disappeared. We found him in the corner of a small cottage holding the body of a young woman. She had been decapitated. We had to pry her from him. He's in the infirmary."

Hercules swallowed hard as he considered what his friend had been through,

"Is..is he hurt?" He was terrified of the answer before he even asked the question.

The old man blinked back the tears, "Well, he did have some nasty wounds, but ..."

" But what? What's wrong?"

"It's not the wounds to his body that have the healer worried. It's like his soul has been wounded. He won't talk. He just stares into space. There's been so much loss that we don't even know who that young woman was. Her head has not been recovered. I'm afraid your friend can't tell us either. I'm sorry."

The old warrior pointed sadly to the infirmary before Hercules even asked, and he ran to the entrance. The smell hit him before he even walked through the doorway. Burnt flesh, blood, fresh wounds already going bad threatened to send him reeling to the floor, but the demigod held his resolve for his friend's sake. One of the women in attendance directed Hercules to the cot where Iolaus lay.

Now, Hercules had seen Iolaus terribly wounded before; by Zeus, he'd even seen him dead. But none of those times chilled his being as what he saw before him.

Iolaus was whiter than Hercules had ever seen him, and this made the small wounds all over his body stand out. He had a gash across his left arm just above where his gauntlet stopped. His stomach was bruised and had a slight burn just above his navel. He had a swollen cheek and a black eye. This didn't look too bad to Hercules. Of course all of these wounds looked painful, but he had seen him in worse condition. He knew how to deal with cuts, bruises, and burns. He was at a loss as to how to help his friend through the injury he now witnessed.

Through Iolaus's eyes, he could see that gaping hole torn through his soul.

Hercules knelt quietly beside his friend,

"Iolaus. Iolaus, it's me, Herk," he said almost in a whisper.

He reached out and brushed a lock of hair from his eyes, but still he got no reaction.

"Iolaus, come on, friend. Don't do this. Come back to us. From wherever your mind is, hear me, and come back."

But Iolaus just continued his catatonic state.

Hercules remembered the amulet, and he gently opened Iolaus's clenced fist. He placed the amulet into his palm, and shuddered at the reaction.

Iolaus blinked through the haze and clasped the amulet. The sick room hushed as this hero reacted to something outside his mental Tartarus he had been experiencing. The healer rushed over to him as Iolaus began to tremble uncontrollably. Hercules and the healer held him down to keep him from further injuring himself . Suddenly the tremors stopped as quickly as they had begun. In their place was a strange gutteral sound.

It was coming from Iolaus!

He looked from Hercules to the healer. Then, his eyes traveled to the amulet in his hand. His thumb traced the deep crack running through the center, and he let loose a horrifying sound.

Hercules thought it was a scream, but in horror he realized it was not a sob, but laughter tearing through him. This was not the giggle that those who loved him longed to hear. There was usually something melodious about that laughter. This was heart wrenching despair trying to mask itself as laughter. When Hercules could bear it no longer, he grasped Iolaus by the shoulders and gently shook him.

"Iolaus! Iolaus! Come On! Snap out of it! Stop it; just stop it!"

Tears were racing down his face as he was pleading with him. Iolaus continued in the bizarre laughter for afew moments, but froze silently again when Hercules threw his arms around his best friend.

"Stop it, Iolaus! In the name of Olympus, snap out of it!"

"Herk?" a small trembling voice whispered.

Hercules pulled back and stared at his friends ghostly face.

"Iolaus! Iolaus! You're back!"

"What do you mean? Hercules, what's happened here? Why am I in this bed? Where did all of the wounded come from?" Iolaus looked terribly disoriented as he glanced around the room.

"How did I get hurt? Hercules, please tell me what happened." His voice sounded as cracked as his amulet.

"Don't you know, Iolaus? There was a battle; you were a great hero of that battle. They found you..." just then the healer laid a gentle hand on Hercules's shoulder, and the look in his eyes cautioned him to go no further.

Iolaus looked shaken. Suddenly his world spiralled out of existence, and his mind was surrounded with comforting darkness.

Hercules now looked totally white. He eased the unconscious Iolaus back to the cot and covered him as the tremors returned. He looked to the healer for some sense of what was going on. But the healer was looking intently at his patient. He recognized this malady for he had seen it numerous times in his younger days.

He had been a healer in King Augeus's army. He'd seen it many times among the new recruits who had killed for the first time, but what confused him was that this man, this warrior, had obviously fought before. Perhaps the agony and anguish surrounding him just was too much. He'd also seen what became of those young warriors if they were pressured into remembering what their minds so desperately

wanted to forget.

"Hercules, Iolaus needs your help. If you push him too fast into remembering, he may retreat into his catatonic state, and you'll lose him forever. His mind has to unclench when it's ready. Hopefully, it will come back in time, but when it does, well just remember that he's seen something so terrible, he's blanked out all memory of this whole horrid day," the healer turned to go when he felt a hand pull at his arm.

"He will get better? He will regain his spirit? Tell me what I can do for him. He's my best friend; no, he's more like a brother to me!"

"Hercules, I wish I could tell you that all will be well. I can tell you that his wounded arm will get better, that his burn on his stomach will not leave scars, and the bruises and swelling will fade. I cannot say what path the healing of his mind will take. Perhaps if you take him to his family; surround him with those who care for him, it will come back."

That night funeral biers lit the sky. A traveler far away would tell where this village was on the darkest night. It almost looked like daylight to Hercules sitting by his sleeping friend. He stood and walked to the doorway; Hercules leaned against his hand in the doorway and shuddered.

"What happened to you, Iolaus? This village will never be the same; I wonder will you?"

He inquired about a lone bier with no mourner beside it, and he was told it was the body of the unknown woman Iolaus was with. Hercules turned to walk back into the infirmary to see Iolaus awake and staring outside.

"Iolaus, how do you feel?" he asked as he sat back down at his side.

"Herk. I want to leave this place," Iolaus whispered in despair.

"I've got to leave this place. Please, Herk, in the morning can we leave?"

"Iolaus, it all depends on whether or not the healer says you can travel. You may not feel as well as you think.."

"No, Hercules. I don't FEEL well at all. I just can't stand this place. I need to be some place clean to heal. I want to go to my mother's home in Athens. I can't explain, but.." Iolaus tried to shake the dark feeling snaking through his mind. His fingers toyed with the crack in the amulet he had in his hand.

"Okay, Iolaus, only if the healer says it's okay, and only if you promise to take it easy," Hercules felt as though he was bargaining.

Iolaus agreed and closed his eyes to shut out the light; however, he found this an almost impossible task. He wanted that same darkness to engulf him, but now the darkness wasn't comforting him; it had begun its torment of him.

He slept fitfully all night, but each time he woke with a start, he placed control over himself so as not to wake Hercules.

Nothing must seem abnormal about him; otherwise, the healer obviously wouldn't let him go. So he slept in little snatches here and there trying to not feel as though he was suffocating each time he drifted into sleep.When the morning arrived, Iolaus had convinced the healer that he was well enough to leave. Actually, Iolaus had convinced no one, but the healer thought Iolaus would be better off in a bed at his mother's home surrounded by those who loved him than in this hall of sickness, pain, and despair.

So, the healer bade them farewell, and Hercules and a very weak hearted Iolaus headed down the road.

Hercules noticed the tremors begin again as they passed by the cottage where they had found him. He looked straight ahead, but its presence invaded his psyche. Hercules decided that whatever had caused this, the catalyst had been in that cottage.

Iolaus still had no memory of what had transpired that day. He only knew that the quicker he got out of that village, the better he would feel. He couldn't have been more wrong.

They walked together in an awkward silence, and each time Hercules started to make conversation, Iolaus would answer in simple one word responses making it abundantly clear that he didn't want to talk. So, they continued down the road to Athens. They stopped at an inn several miles from that village. The steady travel was beginning to take its toll on Iolaus, and Hercules insisted that they stop to rest. Iolaus collapsed into a corner table while Hercules made arrangements for their rooms, food, and drink. Iolaus certainly looked as if he could use a drink.

Then it happened; this was further evidence that the hunter wasn't even on his way to being healed.

It was all very innocent. It happened all the time; women found Iolaus irresistible.

Even in his mangled state, women blushed freely around him. One such young woman was bold enough to grab his amulet hanging around his neck.

"Hey, handsome, what's this? A good luck charm?" she giggled as she seductively played with the amulet.

"What are you doing?" he raised his voice. "YOU don't even know who I AM! I could be a KILLER for all you KNOW! Yet, here you are throwing yourself at me!" He grasped the hand on his amulet and unconsciously tightened his grip as he rose to his feet. "IF I were you I'd get out of this place as fast as I could! GO HOME to your family! Quit FLIRTING with STRANGERS!"

The young woman started backing up, but Iolaus still had his hand wrapped around hers. His tremors started again as he felt a strong hand on his shoulder. He looked up with cold angry eyes and met Hercules', and the angry fog lifted. When he looked back at the woman, he saw a look of pure terror in her eyes. Horrified, he dropped her hand and tried to apologize, but she ran quickly from the inn. He noticed the crowd backing up to give him a wide berth.

"Iolaus, come on. Let's eat." said Hercules in a very gentle voice.

He felt the tremors running through his friends body as he pointed to the food he had brought to the table. Unsteadily, Iolaus sat down at the table and halfheartedly attacked his stew, anything to avert the eyes that were on him. Hercules noted that he wasn't really eating it, and suggested that they head up to their rooms to call it a night. Iolaus's shoulders drooped, and he dropped his head and mumbled something. "What?"

" I said sure; why not." Iolaus's eyes had a strange cast to them. They were a strange mixture of loss, anger, and anguish.

"I'm not really hungry."

They rose and left the dining hall of the inn. As the other patrons gave Iolaus a wide berth again, shame washed over him as he glanced into their eyes. They were afraid of him, and well they should be were his thoughts. He stood in the doorway of his room while Hercules deposited his travel pack near the fireplace. The terror snaked through him, but he beat it down for his friends sake. He knew how worried Herk had been about him, and he didn't want to be responsible for his lack of sleep. He gave Hercules a weak grin and said,

"Thanks, I'm sure tired. I can hardly wait to hit that bed."

His friend looked at him suspiciously, "Iolaus. What happened down there? Would you like to talk about it?"

"I don't really know; look, I'm exhausted. Can we have this discussion tomorrow?" Iolaus was looking down at his feet afraid to meet his friend's eyes.

"Okay. I'll be next door if you need me." Hercules offered.

He stared at the bed after Hercules left the room and tried to lie on it. The minute he did, his heart started racing, and he felt in total panic. What was wrong? Why did he feel this frantic? Finally he bolted from the bed, his hand placed over his heart. As he willed it to slow down, Iolaus moved to a large chair by the fire and flopped down on it. The darkness slithered around him and the dreams began.

"NO!" she screamed as she sat straight up in her bed. What were these frightening images? Someone she loved was in some kind of agony; she just knew it. But who? Tears streamed down her face as she recalled the startling scenarios planted in her mind.

"Iolaus! It's Iolaus!" She jumped out of her bed and began throwing on her clothes. Gold lights sparkled all around her.

"Athena, I don't have time to talk or argue with you. Something is dreadfully wrong with Iolaus, and I'm going to him!" she said in her firmest voice as she finished pulling up her boot. The travel clothes she had chosen were more fitting for a warrior than a high priestess.

"I know, Adrianna. I'm the one who allowed you to dream his dreams. You must go to him; perhaps you may be able to save him. He travels now to your mother's home."

"But how do I...," Adrianna started to ask, but Athena disappeared before she could finish. Owlharp flew into the room and perched on Adrianna's bedpost.

"What do you think, my friend? What's happened to my brother that created all

of this torment? And how on earth can I save him? Are you up for a journey?" she absentmindedly stroked Owlharp's soft wing as she had as a child. She knew the answer for this great golden owl had been her unseen protector most of her life. They left the temple to travel the short distance to her mother's home.

"How am I going to explain this to Mother?"

The images were strange and terrifying. A beautiful young woman with golden hair and warm brown eyes he met on the road, a sweet kiss in the moonlight, laughter turned to screaming, and finally the girl in her final state flashed before him. A brilliant light was accompanied with a wild shout. He was screaming. He jerked to try and wake, but the dream had coiled firmly around him and wouldn't release.

Hercules ran from his room as he heard his friend's first desperate cry. He almost burst through the door and left it barely on its hinges. His eyes focused first on the bed. Seeing it empty was confusing to Hercules until he heard another cry. It was coming from the chair.

He saw his friend thrashing about in a nightmare ridden convulsion. He was at his side in two steps. But Iolaus was even more difficult to wake this time. It was as though Iolaus was sinking further and further into a deep abyss.

He grasped him by the shoulders and gently shook him while repeating his name over and over again. Finally Iolaus gasped for air and his eyes flew open. He almost knocked Hercules on the floor as he jerked up from the chair. He immediately went into a defensive stance. Hercules approached him anyway, but Iolaus was not fully awake and hit him full force in the midsection. This caused Hercules to double over. Iolaus blinked hard as he realized who he just hit and snapped t of his delirium.

"Hercules! I'm so sorry. Are you Okay?" he gasped.

Hercules just tried to tease him out of it, but Iolaus was guilt stricken. "That's not funny. I could have killed you!

"From one stomach punch? Think about it, Iolaus?" Hercules laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, well, it doesn't seem that I think about any...nevermind. I'm tired. You go back to your room, and I'll be fine."

Hercules looked at him with discerning eyes,

"Oh no you won't. Look if you're not going to sleep on the bed, let me at least fix up a pallet on the floor for you. It's got to be more comfortable that being crumpled in the chair."

Iolaus let him set up a pallet by the fire unsure that this would be any guarantee that he'd have a pleasant night's sleep. Now that was a contradiction in terms for him these days. Hercules offered to stay in his room with him, but Iolaus refused so vehemently that he was worried about pressing the issue.

Iolaus sighed and lie down on the pallet. He waited for the panic attack, but there was none. Wearily, he closed his eyes knowing full well the dreams would slide back into his subconscious. When he woke the next morning, he felt as though he had never been to sleep. Several times in the night the disturbing scenes played out in his dreams left him in a cold sweat even before a raging fire. Hercules had run into the room so many times, that the last time, Iolaus succumbed to his suggestion that Hercules take the bed while he slept on the pallet. Hercules hadn't had an easy night's sleep himself, but he wasn't plagued with the images his friend had been.

And so they headed for Athens both exhausted. They traveled for miles without a single word spoken between them. Iolaus was aware of his friend's cautious appraisal of him. He normally would have joked about this, but Iolaus was not in the joking mood. He wasn't even sure he would ever be in a joking mood.

Suddenly, the inevitable happened.

Bandits jumped out at the two and demanded their money.

"Look," Hercules began, "we don't have any money, and neither of us is in the mood for this."

"Perhaps you're in the mood to die?" the gruff bandit inquired.

Hercules and Iolaus looked at one another and shook their heads.

"Do you go to school to learn those horrible lines?" Hercules said.

Iolaus was unusually quiet at this exchange. Actually Hercules' line sounded like something Iolaus would say, if he could. But it just wasn't in him.

When one of the bandits brandished a well polished ax, something inside him snapped.

"NO!" and Iolaus charged the bandits with his sword drawn. This not only brought an element of surprise to the bandits, but it stunned Hercules as well.

Iolaus fought like a man possessed; his friend was terrified at the look of madness in his eyes. The bandits retreated quickly as this madman attacked them; they were afraid that they would be the ones to leave this world. The leader with the ax got in one good cut before he found himself impaled on Iolaus' sword. This wasn't just common defensive measures; Iolaus actually twisted the sword before he pulled it out. Blood ran down his ribs as the ax had laid open his side, and Hercules was at his side in a moment's breath.

The fog cleared from his eyes as he looked into the face of the dead bandit.

"What have I done? What ELSE have I done?" he pleaded as his face turned an ashen color.

"Iolaus, he was going to kill you. Now hold still; I have to stop the bleeding."

"Bleeding? Are you hurt? I'm hurt? Huh, I don't feel a thing. Did you hear me...I don't feel a thing," his hand flew up to the cracked amulet, and he started laughing again.

"Hey! Herk, do you think I'm cracked like this amulet. After all, I'm cracking up," and the bizarre hysterical laughter started again. Hercules could take no more.

This behavior was causing the bleeding to gush from his side, and Hercules couldn't get him to remain still for just one moment. So, with a look of supreme sorrow, he hit his best friend just hard enough to knock him out.

"I'm sorry, Iolaus. What are we going to do?"

He constructed a stretcher and bound him to it. He had already bandaged his ribs and looked to the other injuries his friend had suffered at the nameless terrible battle that wounded him deeper than he'd ever been wounded before. Hercules was relieved that Iolaus stayed unconscious for as long as he did, and they made excellent time.

Iolaus woke on the outskirts of Athens. He remained quiet, almost lethargic. Hercules expected to hear the obligatory complaining about being strapped down, being able to walk on his own, or some other ritual complaint his injured friend always had. But when he stopped to rest just before entering the town, he saw the vacant look in Iolaus' eyes.

Then he felt the tremors begin again; he was losing him.

It was terrifying to see him that way.

"Iolaus, my friend, we're almost there. Hang on. Everything will be okay."

He didn't know if he was trying to convince his friend or himself.

As soon as he stepped into the city proper, a young man came running up to him.

Hey, If it isn't my big brother's best.." Mykanos stopped dead in his tracks when he saw what the man was carrying.

"Iolaus!"

He dropped to one knee and gazed into a face that seemed to not see him. Mykanos was shaken himself as his brother's tremors started again. Not him, he was always indestructible to his little brother. With twelve years between them, he hadn't the luxury of growing up with him. He'd always envied Adrianna for that. But as the years passed, Iolaushad been there for him in the important things. Mykanos idolized his brother, and to see him this way alarmed him as much as the dreams he'd been having.

"I'll help you carry him,"

Mykanos picked up the other end of the litter and carried him through town. The normally busy streets cleared for the demigod and the young brother of this hero. When they entered the gates of Automedusa's home, Hercules stopped.

"I'm not sure that there's anyway to break this news to your mother...,"

"It's all right, Hercules. I know. I know," she spoke with a painful catch in her voice as she ran to her eldest child. What she saw tore at her heart as she moved to the litter; no, it seemed more like a bier for her son was like one of the dead. There was no response to her stroking his face as she did when he was a child. Silent tears poured down her face to see him in this pain.

"I'm here, my son; I'm here. No one can hurt you here; you're safe with all of those who love you surrounding you. We won't let this keep you!" she looked to Hercules for resolve but caught a glimpse of despair instead.

They carried him into the house and started to release him from his bindings; his eyes rolled back into his head, and he was enveloped by the cold darkness. As they laid him on the bed, Automedusa began to sob uncontrollably. Mykanos gathered his mother in his arms and spoke gentle words of encouragement to her, words that he didn't quite believe himself. Adrianna stepped through the doorway at that moment to witness a room filled with despair. She joined her brother in hugging Automedusa, and Hercules felt a little awkward.

"This must be how he feels when we're constantly at my mother's house," as if she could read his thoughts, Automedusa extended her arms to include him. They all held each other; now they needed to find a way to hold onto Iolaus. They circled his bed and waited.

A familiar voice was heard at the gate speaking to the servants. There was a relief

in the air when Alcmene and Jason walked through the doorway. Automedusa started to rise to meet them, but Hercules' mother rushed to her side and grasped both of her hands.

"We came as quick as we could. Those awful dreams," heads jerked up when she said this. All, save Hercules, had been experiencing the same visions Iolaus had. They didn't know what they meant but the horror drew them to this place. They were compelled to journey here as Iolaus was to travel north one time. Automedusa knew Hercules was bringing him home. All were anxious at what they'd find.

Adrianna walked to the center of the room and spoke,

"There's a reason we're all here. Athena said that if we were to reclaim him, he needed to be surrounded by those who love him. I'm not sure how this will come about, but Hercules, if you will tell us all you know about this, perhaps Athena will give me the vision to proceed. "

Hercules told them in a stilted voice about finding him, the cracked amulet, the terror in the night, and the battle with the bandits. He suddenly realized that Iolaus needed the attention of a real healer when one entered the home with Automedusa's husband.

Anatolecles quickly tended to Iolaus' injuries while his family further discussed his fate. The old healer shook his head as he cleaned and dressed the wound at his side. He stitched him up nicely and re-bandaged the wound. However, he noticed other symptoms spreading over this young man. His heart was pounding wildly, and a fine layer of sweat began to bead up on his forehead. Anatolecles felt for fever, and thankfully there was none, but tremors overtook him again like someone with a chill.

"I think you had better tie him to the bed. This thrashing about is going to cause some damage to these stitches. And we don't want him to lose anymore blood."

Automedusa and Alcmene held each other and wept bitterly as they watched Hercules and Mykanos tie Iolaus down to the bed. Each knowing that he had to be restrained to let his body heal, but each terrified as to what the restraint would do to his spirit. "Mother, Alcmene, this had to be done. You know that don't you? He'll be all right; would Athena have brought us all together if he wouldn't be all right?" comforted

Adrianna. In the meantime, she was trying desperately herself to try and figure a course of action to take. This was so perplexing. Iolaus had been in numerous gory battles before, and according to Hercules, he may have been quiet for awhile after one, but he would be the one to drag Hercules from depression after these battles with his easy humor. This somehow was linked to the woman he was with. She must be the catalyst to what happened. Somehow, he would need to bring this serpent to the surface in order to battle it. She was pulled from her deep thought by a gentle push from Owlharp.

He had his eyes open.

"No! Let me up, oh gods, let me up. Where am I? Celestia where are you? NO! Help! Hercules, let me up."

This started as a whisper but quickly escalated to shouting.

"It's all right, Son. You must lie still or you'll tear the stitching and pull open your wound. Iolaus! Listen to me." Automedusa was pleading with him when he turned wild eyes to her.

"Mother, oh, Mother, help me...I can't take this...I can't breathe. If you love me, let me up. I've got to get out of this bed. I'll lie still; I promise!" desperation filled his voice, "Just make me a place on the floor, and I'll lie perfectly still. JUST GET ME OUT OF THIS BED!"

He was pulling and jerking trying to loose himself from his bonds. They all circled around his bed trying to soothe him, but this had absolutely the opposite reaction as he struggled even more.

Adrianna strode over to the head of the bed and took his face in her hands and spoke calmly to him, "Iolaus, we all want to help you, but we can't if you keep this up.

Remember those breathing techniques you taught me?" she encouraged him to breathe deeply to calm himself. He was actually breathing quite normally instead of the ragged oxygen deprived gasping he had been doing.

"If you can promise to not thrash about, if you can keep absolutely still, we'll let you get out of the bed. Can you do that?"

He nodded very calmly and took in a deep breath. Just then his breathing made his wound known.

"Ouch, this hurts," he moaned softly.

Hercules grabbed his mother's hand and whispered, "That's the first time he's felt pain since before that battle. Maybe.." He was interrupted by Adrianna's controlled voice.

"Hercules, could you help me get him out to the big chair in the atrium?"

Hercules carefully helped Iolaus to his feet, but it was apparent that this wouldn't be enough. Mykanos stepped to the other side and gently helped Hercules lift him. Thus they carried him to the atrium.

He let out a slightly rugged breathe as they settled him on the chair. Owlharp swooped into the room startling everyone except Iolaus. She perched at the top of the chair, and Iolaus felt an overwhelming sense of security with her there. He reached up with his hand and absentmindedly stroked the feathers just under her neck. She rewarded him with a calming, contented sound. His other hand clasped around the cracked amulet.

Adrianna stepped in front of the chair and knelt before her brother. She looked him straight in his pained blue eyes and began,

"Iolaus, in order to help you, there are some questions you have to answer. First, What happened in that battle?"

He sighed and answered, "I don't remember."

"Why are you so anxious to be in a bed?" she continued.

"I really don't know," he was clasping and unclasping the amulet now.

Adrianna asked a question that she was afraid would send him over the edge again,

"Iolaus, who is Celestia?"

With that question Iolaus started trembling again and shut his eyes tightly to shut out the visions. His knuckles were white as he clasped the amulet even tighter.

"Iolaus! Iolaus! Look at me, We won't let the darkness claim you again. We're all here for you!"

She clasped both of her hands around his gripping the amulet.

Automedusa moved around and placed her hand on top of theirs,

"I'm here, Iolaus, whatever happens I'm here for you."

Alcmene knelt on the opposite side and placed her hand on Automedusa's. Mykanos reached over the chair next to Owlharp and slipped his hand on top of theirs.

Finally, Hercules knelt next to Adrianna and covered all of the hands trying to hold onto Iolaus' heart.

"I'm here, Iolaus."

And he opened his eyes to the support around him, and for the first time tears fell all the way down his face and bathed the hands comforting him.

"Adrianna, I can't...I don't remember...I can't...breathe when I..try," was his confession.

She looked all around her and gave a signal that they all seemed to understand.

They all knelt around the chair but released their grip on his hands. Adrianna wiped the tears from his cheeks and tried to slip the amulet from his neck. He held on firmly to the amulet, but Adrianna looked in his eyes with a wisdom born of Athena, and he released it.

"Iolaus, remember when I was afraid to walk across that rope bridge near Thebes?" His eyes narrowed as he did recall that incident. Hercules almost jumped when he remembered. Athena wanted to teach her about trust and letting someone else share the load of fear. Iolaus had taught her a technique of concentration to clear her mind. Another one of his gifts from the East now would be returned tenfold to him. Iolaus nodded.

"Remember, we even used this very amulet. I want you to stare at the amulet; just focus on one part of it and breathe deeply."

Iolaus knew exactly what would happen, and he was slightly nervous to turn over control like this, but he took great courage in his friends and family, and nodded again.

He chose the crack. As he focused on the tiny crack, it seemed to change into a great chasm. On one side was his shattered self; on the other was the Iolaus he used to be. He turned on the edge of the chasm to face an insistent, but calm voice.

"Iolaus, tell us who Celestia is?" Adrianna forced her voice to be calm inspite of her growing anxiety. It was as though all persons in the room collectively stopped breathing.

"Celestia, sweet Celestia. She had the warmest brown eyes you've ever seen. We met on the road. Bandits attacked; I helped her, and we traveled together." he saw the scenario being played out again. " Her laughter was like the tinkling sound of a silver bell. She's a widow, no more family left in the world. We laughed and talked and even cried a little together. She understood how I felt about Ania, and I understood how she felt about her husband. She was traveling to the village to be a dressmaker. We...flirted mercilessly at the inn. Every...everyone thought we were ...newlyweds. We barely knew each other, yet it was like we'd always known each other." he was watching Celestia laugh and sing and dance with his other self. How could something so joyous end up...

"What happened in the village Iolaus? What happened to Celestia?" Adrianna was letting her own tears fall gently down her face.

"We spent the night together. Maybe that was a mistake, but there was such comfort we both found in each others' arms," he watched the chasm widen as he took her to the little cottage provided by the inn, and he took her to his bed.

He gasped,

"The noise! We woke with the noise of death, dying, screams of women and children. I told her to stay there in the cottage. She'd be safe in the cottage. The barbarians, I'd never seen anyone like them. They even tried to burn an orphanage. They knew there were children in there! Some didn't..."

He wanted to turn away, to not face it; then he noticed that when he wanted to turn the chasm grew wider... He had to get to the other side of the chasm to be well again... to face his memories.

"When the fighting was over, I stopped to help with the injured. If only I had been there a few moments earlier..I could have . I threw open the door and there she was across the room on our bed. She had such a sweet look of relief on her face; she didn't even see him. She stretched her arms out to me...I saw.."

The chasm had been closing as he saw her reach out her arms to him across the chasm. What he saw was a barbarian run toward Celestia from behind on the other side of the chasm. Iolaus looked at the depths between them and at her warm brown eyes. He took a deep breath and jumped across; he spiraled back into the real world and looked into Adrianna's soft blue eyes. He remembered and continued, but no longer looking at the amulet, he looked into the hearts of his family and friends.

"I tried to get to her first, but I was too far away, and his ax sliced through her as though she were made of a cloud. Her body fell toward me and I caught her. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move; I just...held her while he grabbed her head by her soft blond hair and left through the back door. Oh gods, if I had only been a few moments earlier. If I hadn't taken her to my bed, if I hadn't ever flirted with her in the first place.."

He buried his face in his hands and wept for what might have been.

"Iolaus, it's not your fault," Hercules spoke first.

Iolaus looked up into his best friend's face to really listen to him.

"Remember when Hera destroyed my family? I was saying the same thing...If only. Well, my friend you helped me through that time. I'm here for you now. You can't blame yourself for what evil in this world does."

This sentiment was echoed throughout the atrium, and Iolaus knew everything would be okay. He knew he'd still carry the guilt; Hercules still did from time to time. He suddenly felt as though a great weight was lifted from his heart. He would be able to mourn for Celestia; Adrianna was already making plans to return to that village with him. She said it was to bring comfort from Athena, but he could see through her.

"I'm tired, and I think I'd like to try to go to bed."

They looked skeptically at him, but Mykanos and Hercules carried him back to the room. He felt like everyone was treating him like a hurt little child; well, maybe at this time he was. His mother and Alcmene shamelessly fussed over him with mugs of warm ale, bread, and little pastries set out by the bed. He let a genuine smile wash over his face as he said his good nights until finally he was alone in the room. He insisted on this point to be alone. He didn't realize everyone was just outside his door just in case.

He opened the window and breathed in the fresh night air and whispered,

"I'm sorry, Celestia. I hope you've found peace. I hope I can find that same peace again."

He sighed and approached the bed not sure what he'd feel when he finally laid down on it. He started to lower himself on the bed and when his breathing quickened, he remembered the deep cleansing breathing techniques. He was on the bed and relaxed. He halfway grinned when Owlharp floated into the room from the open window and perched on his bedpost. He remembered thinking" This is vaguely familiar," just before he drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

Golden lights sparkled around the bed as Athena approached him. She had been the benefactor of such sweet sleep;she reached down and smoothed the golden curls and knelt by his bedside. With a firm but gentle hand, she touched the crack in the amulet, and it was whole again.

Someday soon, Iolaus would be too.