"You don't wanna mess with Negaduck," Gosalyn piped up. "Dad tried to break up one of his schemes once and he dropped him off Canard Towers. And you know how there's usually that big old dumpster there?"

Maui nodded.

"Well this time it was a garbage truck. Dad fell right into that."

"For what?"

"Finding the hideout."

"Well geez." Maui blinked. "You could have been more careful."

"I'm a vigilante. You're a detective. There's a difference."

"No, not really."

"There's a big difference, Drake. People know who I am."

Drake frowned. "Okay, so maybe that's something. But there's still not much of a difference outside of that! I mean, crimefighting is crimefighting."

"Whatever you say," Maui shrugged. "Let's just get some food, huh?"

Meanwhile, Jeanie and the Fearsome Four crowded themselves into a corner booth. "So," Jeanie said, leaning over the table. "This is different stuff. I mean, convenience stores, banks ... they're all too easy now, and they all have precautions anyway. Right? Boring." Everyone nodded. "Thing about restaurants? Nobody's gonna care. Waitresses are working their tailfeathers off for tips. Busboys? Minimum wage."

Megavolt scratched his head. "Have we heard this speech before, guys? It sounds familiar."

"Dunno," Quackerjack shrugged. "But you're right."

Liquidator and Bushroot looked at each other and shook their heads. "Couldn't tell you," Bushroot blinked. "Maybe Negaduck said something once..."

"Anyway, you get it?" Jeanie smiled. "Ready?"

Megavolt pulled his gun from his belt. "Ready." The five of them stood up.

"OKAY! NONE OF YOU DUCKS MOVE OR I'LL LET HIM FRY EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU JACKANAPES!!!" Jeanie shouted, as Megavolt pointed his gun into the crowd. A few waitresses looked up idly, then went back to wiping down the counter. The regulars went on sipping their coffee.

"Huh." Bushroot blinked, walking up to the register. "Uh, can I have the money please?" The clerk blinked, terrified, then handed him the contents of the register. "Whoa. Okay, thanks." Setting the money in the empty burlap potting soil bag he'd brought with him, he went back to their booth. "That was painfully easy."

Megavolt emptied his gains into the sack, as the others did the same. "Yeah, we should do this more often. I got a really cool LCD game from some kid."

Jeanie chuckled. "Well, boys, let's amscray. I say we treat ourselves to some fun."

As Drake and his family made their way towards the diner, Maui fiddled incessantly with the radio. "Nope. No. EW, no. Hate that song...."

"Maui!" Drake snapped at last, swatting his cousin's hand away from the knob. "Will you PLEASE cut that OUT?"

"Well sorRY," Maui muttered, tuning the radio to a news channel.

"Hey, Maui," Gosalyn grinned. "Can I interview you for the school paper? About being a detective in the islands and all that stuff? The intrigue, the danger, the LAVA-SPEWING VOLC --" She was cut short as she caught her father glaring at her in the rear-view mirror. "Whaaaat?"

"No volcanos," both adults said firmly.

"Awww." Gosalyn pouted. "So do you run into any of those weird natives?"

"Occasionally," Maui nodded. "Can we please listen to the news, Gos? I really need to hear it. Not up to snuff on the local stuff."

"Okay," Gosalyn sighed, slumping down in her seat. "I can always interview Launchpad..."

"This morning's robbery at the St. Canard Cultural Museum ..."

Drake quickly pulled the car onto a side street, frowning. "HOW did I not know about THAT?"

"You were probably sleeping," Launchpad volunteered. "It was all over the TV this morning. Bunch of little gold statues got stolen."

"AUGH!"

Maui tapped his cousin on the shoulder. "Sounds like a job?"

"Sure does....." Drake nodded grimly.

"Sounds like you might need the services of a top-notch detective."

"I am a top-notch detective."

"You're a vigilante," Maui reminded him. "There's a difference."

Drake groaned as he rolled his eyes. "Thank you sooooo much for reminding me about that. Talk about your words coming back to you ... Okay, fine, you can come."

"Awriiiight!" Gosalyn cheered, jumping up and down in her seat.

"SIT DOWN!" Drake yelped, turning another corner. "And I did not mean 'you' in the plural sense! You and Launchpad are going to go ahead to breakfast. And bring me a sausage biscuit."

"Pancakes for me," Maui added, as they pulled up to the museum, ringed by police cars. "Please."

"Oh, not the police," Drake moaned, parking in the side lot. "I can't stand them. And they can't stand me. This is gonna be a regular walk on the beach."

"Leave it to me," Maui grinned, pulling his cousin out of the car. "These guys love me.... Hi there!"

"Sorry, citizen," one officer said, holding up a hand. "Nobody's allowed in the museum till we've finished our investigation."

"But I work here," Maui whined. "You want me to be late?"

"Oh, okay," the officer shrugged, letting him through.

"Just wait for me out back, cuz," Maui winked. "I'll be out soon."

Drake smiled, heading off to a secluded spot to make his change of wardrobe. "Thanks."

"See, Dad?" Gosalyn grinned, as she and Launchpad drove by in the wagon, "you and Maui could make a pretty cool team."

"Mmmph, we'll see," he replied.

"Nope. Nope. Nope.... dadGUMit, no." Steelbeak tossed a gold statue at one of the eggmen, taking a slight pleasure in the noise it made as it bounced off his helmet. "NONE of these are what we're LOOKIN' fer! You nitwits!" He groaned, slumping down in his chair as he turned one of the statues over and over in his hands. "High Command's gonna have my beak fer dis. Not ta mention dat Mission Evaluation's gonna have a field day...."

"Tough time?"

"Ugh. Gabri-EL.... why d'ya gotta assign me dese idiots?" He groaned, looking up to see the head of Mission Evaluation herself standing in the doorway. "I liked it bettah when we woiked togedder."

"Well, those days are over - I have a higher position now, and I think I'm better suited to it, personally." Agent Gabriel shrugged, handing him a file folder. "Here's the information on the ... you know what. I'm sorry this heist didn't work out, but I think I have a hunch where we can find what we're looking for."

"Ya do? Suh-weet." Steelbeak grinned, diving into the folder's contents eagerly. After a few lines' worth of reading, his jaw dropped. "No frickin' way. Youse gotta be kiddin' me."

"I kid you not," Gabriel replied. "That's where it is. At least, I'm pretty sure."

"An' dey don' even know what dey got, I'm sure of it."

"Which is why getting it should be easy as 3.14...."

Steelbeak cackled happily, then glanced back down at the file. "But still ... I can't help thinkin' we missed somethin' back at dat museum...! I won't sleep till I know what it is."

"Sure you will," Gabriel consoled him, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before heading back towards the hallway. "Don't worry - I'm all over it."

Sirens wailed, people screamed, bricks fell, police shouted...

"I love this town," Negaduck chuckled as he sprinted through the gates of the St. Canard Prison. "Two-hundred times in and they still put me in substandard cells and forget to search me!" With a cackle, he tossed another lit stick of dynamite over his shoulder before flagging down a passing cab. "Hey sister! Burn rubber," he growled, throwing himself into the passenger seat.

The driver, a pale albino chihuahua with pink eyes and black hair, flexed her fingers before looking over at the prison. "You did that, then? ... Holy mother of Quillpin Tarantino, you're Negaduck!"

"Duh. Now can you PLEASE hit the street? I don't exactly think it's the greatest escape in the world if I get CAUGHT!"

"How does it feel to live in the ... Negaverse?" She drooled. "I mean, you get to kill people all the time over there, don't you?"

"Care to be the next? HIT IT!" Negaduck snarled.

Nodding, she shot the cab out of the parking lot at about eighty miles an hour, rocketing down the street. "Anything for my personal Public Enemy Number One."

Hmm, at least someone has their priorities straight. "Right."

"So what's it like, killing someone?"

"Fun. You oughta try it sometime," he said boredly.

"Oh, I've been trying. The guy I'm after just is too stupid to get it."

Negaduck's eyes wandered up to the girl's driver's permit hanging from her rear-view mirror by a black lanyard. "There's always gonna be one that slips through your hands." His eyes narrowed. Like Darkwing. "That's when you find someone else to focus on till next time." Like that Frisson girl when I get my hands on her.....

"I don't think I'd like that strategy. The only person I really wanna see dead is that odious...." She droned on and on, as Negaduck stared blindly out the window, trying to think up various, increasingly painful ways to kill Jeanie.

Chainsaw? Too quick. Death by chocolate - dip her in the stuff and watch her suffocate, then sell her to a candy store. Nice surprise inside, heh. .... Too tedious. Shotgun? Definately too quick. Dobermans? She'd give em indigestion. Ugh. I just can't decide....

"--- I WILL triumph!" She finished, throwing her hands up in the air for a moment before putting them back on the wheel. "So," she said brightly, "where can I drop you?"

"Here." Negaduck snapped. "I'll walk the rest of the way... "

The driver pulled over to the curb beside the Sugar N' Spice bakery. "Oooookay. It was great meeting you...!"

"Yeahyeahyeah," Negaduck waved absently. "Good luck with the killing thing." Heading into the bakery, he sighed. Just a little time back home to plan in my normal chaotic atmosphere. Then you're mine, Frisson.

"So," Quackerjack grinned, as he finished counting out his share of their loot, "what do we do next?"

"Ummmmmmmmm..." The Fearsome Four shrugged.

Jeanie clapped a hand to her forehead and groaned. "Not this again." Grabbing the newspaper, she rifled through its pages. "We should get you boys to do something big. Something that will get all of you noticed without Negaduck."

"Hoohoo..." Quackerjack giggled, grabbing the paper from her. "Ooh, sale at the toy store. Twenty dollars for those cyber pet thingies! Wonder if I could reprogram them to be attack toys...!"

Jeanie blinked. "Umm, yeah. Gooood idea. Let's find something we all think is equally diabolical." She took the paper back and turned it back to the page she'd been at. "The Cultural Museum is having a top secret valuable exhibit. Why don't we rob it?"

All four of them stared at her in awe. "Niiiiiiiiiice," Megavolt said appreciatively.

"100% evil genius! The latest addition to the villain series!" Liquidator nodded emphatically.

"That sounds fun," Quackerjack grinned.

"You know, they've got a botanical history exhibit there?" Bushroot smiled, his eyes lighting up.

"And the lightbulbs!" Megavolt gushed.

"Ooh, and those priceless artifacts are great for interior decorating," Jeanie grinned. Not to mention that I think they might have something *I'm* looking for.... "Then we're agreed? We take the Museum. Tonight."

"Darkwing. Over here." Maui motioned his cousin over to the crime scene, roped off with the essential yellow tape. "Not a mark anywhere. See?"

Darkwing pulled a pair of his Ultra-Scan goggles out of his jacket and took a closer look at the scene. "Well, I'm not catching anything in any spectrum... this is really, really...."

"Yes?"

"Annoying."

"Who'd be able to make such a clean getaway? You must know at least one."

"That's just it," Darkwing groaned. "I know too many. Splatter Phoenix is definately a possibility, and Camille Chameleon... maybe I'd say Negaduck if he weren't in jail. But..."

HATCHU!

Darkwing jumped, but Maui merely pulled a handkerchief from his shirt and tossed it toward a pillar. "Bless you, Gosalyn."

She sniffled, coming out from her hiding place to accept his offering. "Um ... thanks."

"Gos'lyn!" Darkwing snapped crossly. "What are you .... wait. How did you know it was her?"

Maui shrugged. "She's been there for at least the past five minutes," he replied. "It's that old Quackahula ninja sense."

"Geez," Darkwing whistled. "Remind me not to take you up on a game of 7-Up."

"Keen GEAR," Gosalyn grinned. "Can you teach me how to do that?"

Darkwing glared at her. "Young lady, please go back to the car."

"But Daaaaaaad! I wanna - ACHOO! - help." Running the hankie over her beak again, she wrinkled it in disdain. "Something's setting me off. It smells funny."

"I noticed it when I came in, too," Maui agreed. "Sort of a musky smell. I thought it was something they used for atmosphere in one of the sections."

Darkwing pulled a tissue from his jacket and blew his beak, then sniffed carefully at the air. "No," he corrected them, "if my beak had been clearer I would have known that smell right away. That's English Feather.... cologne of choice of one of my more clever enemies."

"Steelbeak?" Gosalyn volunteered, then sneezed again.

"Yeeeeeeee-UP." Darkwing nodded, tossing his tissue in a nearby trash bin. "It makes sense - now that I think of it, only FOWL could perpetrate such a clean getaway. However, the top-secret exhibit that all the papers have been hinting at is still around... I say we keep an eye on this place. They'll definately try again if they're into high art..."

"Sounds like a ... plan." Maui made a face as Gosalyn returned his hankie. "Uh, you keep it, Gozzie."

Jeanie stretched out in Negaduck's chair as she looked at the newspaper in front of her. "You know, boys, this would be a lot easier if we had blueprints. Anyone here a hacker?"

"Nope," Bushroot shook his head. "Not that I know of."

"Shoot," she sighed, pushing a strand of pink hair out of her eye. "Otherwise we could get them online..."

"What about a museum brochure?" Megavolt asked. "We could get one of those online, and don't they have maps?"

"Crude, but it might work." Jeanie nodded, opening up the laptop on the desk. "Hmmmm...."

The Fearsome Four crowded around her as she opened up a web browser and began to search for the museum's site. "There it is," Quackerjack pointed. "Hoohoo!"

"We need a printer," Bushroot pointed out.

Jeanie shook her head, taking a piece of loose paper from the table and pulling a pen out of the canister at her side. "No..." she said slowly, sketching out the brochure on the monitor. "Just an artist."

"And a good defense as to why you're sitting in my chair, Frisson!" The four supervillains instantly backed away from the table as Negaduck stalked up to Jeanie. "Miss me?"

"About as much as I missed my last dentist appointment," Jeanie said blandly, not even looking up from her sketch. "And I didn't see your name anywhere on this chair, so back off. It's comfy, and I'm in the middle of something!"

Negaduck stared at her incredulously, then snatched the paper from her hands. "You must have a deathwish, Frisson.... what's this?"

"Plan of the St. Canard museum.... you might have heard of that special little treasure they're going to show off tonight?" Jeanie smiled placidly, putting her feet up on the desk. "After all, you'd be the one to know."

"Well, yeah," Negaduck snorted. "But I heard someone else got it."

"Nope," Jeanie shook her head. "They didn't. Or haven't you been following the news?"

Negaduck glared at her, grabbing her by the collar of her t-shirt and shaking her. "I'VE BEEN IN JAIL, YOU BUBBLE-HEADED ...."

"I'm not a blonde. It's actually pink," Jeanie giggled, removing his fingers from her shirt one by one. "Look, don't touch, please."

Seething, Negaduck curbed his urge to run for the chainsaw in the corner and merely pushed her out of his chair onto the floor. "So, what exactly would your great, brilliant plan be, Frisson?" He asked, looking at the laptop.

"Well, first step is to make you start calling me Jeanie," she said offhandedly, getting up off the floor and going to stand with "her boys". "Then the boys and I are going to ... wait, why should I be telling you?"

"The Boys?" Negaduck snorted. "They're my team, and you're not just going to waltz in here with some funny statue, get me arrested, and make yourself newly-appointed leader of the Fearsome Five! I spent YEARS perfecting this little organization..."

"Perfecting?" Jeanie asked, as Quackerjack and Megavolt made faces at each other and Bushroot picked dead leaves out of his hair.

"Shut up."

Jeanie giggled. "As I was saying... you look like you need a little help. Care for the services of an expert thief?"

Negaduck looked her up and down skeptically. "As long as they think you still work for SHUSH .... we might be safe," he mused. "But ... how do I know I can trust you?"

"You don't. And I don't trust you, either." She spit in her hand and held it out.

He returned the gesture... "Then we're even." At the last moment, she denied his handshake and wiped her palm on her low-waisted jeans. "..... You're good, Frisson."

"Call me Jeanie," she smirked, "and I just might actually thank you for that."

"Tonight," Gabe promised, finishing the last stitch as she sewed the wire into Steelbeak's jacket. "Tonight we'll make good with High Command for once."

"Yeah," he sighed. "Bout frickin' time. I mean... geez. How many times 'ave we been SO close..." He paused as she slid his jacket onto his arms. "T'anks babe. Now, what'm I lookin' fer?"

Gabe consulted the manila folder tucked under her arm, then blinked in surprise. "Well ... " Standing on tiptoe, she whispered into his ear.

"Ya gotta be kiddin me.... riskin' my neck fer dat?"

She nodded, straightening out her blouse. "I'd go with you - you know I want to. But ..." She gestured to the many other folders on her desk. "Heist forms in triplicate await me."

"Joy, joy," Steelbeak clucked blandly. "Yer at least sendin' an Eggman in wit' me?"

"Three," Gabe nodded. "I know they aren't much in the way of brains, but you've got enough for all of you."

"Oh, yer givin' me a swelled head," Steelbeak scoffed.

"Not like anyone would notice," she winked, cuffing him on the shoulder as he applied a special blend of orange paint to his beak. "Now ... you go out and get 'em."

"I will," he smiled, giving her a quick kiss on the beak before heading out of her office. I hope.

Darkwing frowned as he crouched on the balcony overlooking the main gallery of the museum’s West Wing. “I never got the point of these gallery openings,” he muttered, looking down at the partygoers milling about.

“What’s not to get about free wine and cheese?” Cold Shadow shrugged, slipping a blue blindfold over his eyes.

“Point taken. I think Launchpad was down there a second ago,” Darkwing muttered, scanning the floor with his binoculars. “….Why the blindfold? Shouldn’t you be able to see? I mean, I was blind once and it was a pain in the tailfeathers….”

”A ninja relies on other senses,” Cold Shadow replied blandly, cocking his head. “For example, Launchpad’s coming - and he’s got some gouda and punch with him.”

“Hey guys!” Launchpad called out. “Got you some horse do-overs!”

”See?” Shadow said smugly. “I don’t need your gadgets.”

“Myah,” Darkwing scoffed, taking a glass of punch. “Whatever. I mean, it’s my city, after all, and I know who we’re dealing with….”

“SHH!” Maui snapped. “I thought I heard some-“ He was cut off as three yellow forms dropped down from the skylight in an ambush.

“FOWL Eggmen,” Darkwing snarled, taking out his gas-gun. Before he had time to react, Cold Shadow hit two of the Eggmen with his bo stick, then let the momentum from his first attack propel him into a flying kick that sent the third staggering backwards into the wall.

“No worry now,” he smirked, taking the small dixie cup of punch from Launchpad and draining it. “Mm, fruit punch, my favorite…”

“Showoff,” Darkwing muttered, taking the jumpsuit off one of the eggmen and handing it to Launchpad. “LP, you know the drill. I’m going around to the other side of the gallery balcony to see if I can find Steelbeak….”

Launchpad slipped into the outfit, tucking the helmet under his arm. “Righty-o, DW,” he grinned. “Which way should I go?”

“Go down to the main gallery and look around in the halls. See if you can find any other eggmen.”

“No problemo.”

“As for me, I’m going to go find out what I can see,” Darkwing snarled, stalking off down the corridor.

Shadow frowned, scratching his head. “Was it something I said?”

“Naw, don’t worry about it,” Launchpad shrugged, fitting the helmet on his head. “DW’s just all caught up in the chase, or however he puts it. … Well, off to go pretend to be the mindless muscle again.”

Cold Shadow waved as he retreated, sliding his bandanna up just in time to cover a raised eyebrow. Chuckling to himself, he turned back towards the balcony, then froze, his eyes narrowing.

“Still haven’t changed your perfume, Jeanie? You should have learned by now,” he said flatly.

“Good old Shadow - you still remember every little thing about me,” Jeanie smirked, walking up to him. “….How pathetic.”

Before he could say anything, a pair of leafy hands clamped over his beak, and another pair of hands encased in blue rubber gloves quickly tied his hands and feet up in electrical wire.

“Good job, boys,” Jeanie smiled, folding her arms as Megavolt took a battery from his belt and began to attatch it to the wires. “What’s that for?”

“Oh, just every time he moves, the wires will connect to the battery plugs, and he’ll get shocked,” Megavolt said simply. “Bushroot and I thought it up on the roof out there. Cool huh?”

Jeanie smiled, reaching down to pat Cold Shadow on the head. “See that? Better behave yourself! Now, I believe we’ve got business to attend to, don’t we, boys?”

“What about Negaduck?” Bushroot asked.

“Well, how’s he supposed to know I lied and told him the artifact was in the East wing?” Jeanie winked.

“Jeanie?” Megavolt whispered, tapping her on the shoulder. “I see unconscious people…”

“What?” She turned around to see where he pointed to the three Eggmen. “What the heck are those?”

”FOWL Eggmen,” Bushroot frowned. “That means Steelbeak’s here, I bet. …. Ooo, he gives me the creeps!”

“Steelbeak?” Jeanie blinked. “Hmm. If he’s here for the party, too … maybe I should see what I can learn about him.” Slipping the uniform off one of the smaller eggmen, she stepped into it, then picked up the helmet and fit it over her head. “A little tight, but it’ll do, right boys?”

”You look fine,” Bushroot blurted.

“Good. You two go see what you can find to keep yourselves busy. Me, I’m after my treasure.”

“What about Quacky and Water-boy?” Megavolt asked, scratching his head.

“Oh,” Jeanie shrugged, heading for the stairs to the lower level, “I’m sure they’re doing juuuust fine…”

“HALT!”

“Oh, crap,” Quackerjack panted, running after the Liquidator as Darkwing followed close at their heels, “This … was not … a good idea!”

“Definitely not a high seller,” Liquidator agreed.

“DIDN’T YOU HEAR ME?” Darkwing hollered, drawing his gas-gun. “I SAAAAAID…. … OW!”

“That’s not what you said,” Quackerjack giggled, as Negaduck slammed into his twin. “Nice move, boss.”

“Whatever,” Negaduck snarled, planting his foot on Darkwing’s back. “So, Darkwing, I guess you figured out the same thing I did…. That the exhibit is NOT on the East side of the museum? That’s the last time I take directions from a blonde.”

“She’s not blonde,” Quackerjack pointed out, then cringed as Darkwing took hold of Negaduck’s cape and pulled him to the floor.

“Hmm, if you’re anything like me in this respect,” Darkwing mused, tying Negaduck up in his own cape, “you wear rip-proof capes, too, don’t you?”

Negaduck snarled. “Amscray, boys! Get that …. Thingy!”

Liquidator and Quackerjack nodded, then sprinted off down the aisle.

“Ohhh, no you don’t!” Darkwing smirked, pulling out his gas-gun and shooting a cartridge straight into the Liquidator’s midsection. As it exploded, the watery villain’s steps began to slow, until he finally came to a halt. Quackerjack tried to stop himself, but skidded to a halt, slamming into his compatriot from behind and bouncing back to land at Darkwing’s feet.

“What… was that?” Quackerjack whimpered, as Darkwing shot a net cartridge at him.

“Glue bomb,” Darkwing said smartly, trussing them up alongside Negaduck. “That’ll show that asinine cousin of mine that I can do just fine - with or without some silly colored belt in whatever.” Smirking, he headed off down the hallway. “….Now where the heck is….”

Steelbeak smirked as he walked unobtrusively through the milling crowd of partygoers. I gotta hand it to Gabriel, he thought proudly. I never woulda thought to use the ol’ orange makeup trick from Duckboig. Woiks like a charm! Grinning, he took a glass of wine and sipped at it pensively, fingering the glass cutter in his jacket pocket. Life is good….

“Boss!” A voice called out behind him.

Steelbeak whirled to see a female eggman hiding behind a column. “What’re you doin’ down here?” He hissed. “You’ll blow my cover!”

“Change of plans - I was sent to act as a decoy,” Jeanie whispered. “While I distract the crowd, you take the artifact!”

You keep getting smarter every day, Gabri-el, Steelbeak smiled, edging his way nonchalantly towards the artifact as he gave Jeanie a discreet thumbs-up.

Jeanie smirked, making her way over to the buffet table. Gripping the weapon from her belt comfortably in her palm, she climbed up onto the table and kicked a few loaves of French bread aside. “OKAY EVERYONE! LISTEN UP! NOBODY MOVE OR I’LL BLAST YOUR BEAKS OFF!”

Not a bad agent at all, Steelbeak thought appreciatively. Nice set o’ pipes… Palming the glass cutter, he put his back to the case and expertly extracted the artifact, sliding it into the back pocket of his jacket before slipping off into the crowd.

“Shadow?” Darkwing blurted, racing over to his cousin. “What….” He knelt down and quickly untied him, flinging the wire and batteries aside. “What happened?”

“Someone with a really whiny, nasal voice, and another one with what sounded like a permanent sinus condition,” Cold Shadow growled, getting to his feet and stretching. “…. And Frisson.”

“JEANIE?” Darkwing spluttered. “With Megavolt and Bushroot? … Where did they go?”

“Well, Jeanie’s right there,” Shadow exclaimed, pointing to her as she menaced the crowd.

“But that’s an Eggman …er, woman!” Darkwing objected.

“No, that’s Jeanie,” his cousin insisted, hooking his stick onto a chandelier.

“I’m confused,” Darkwing moaned.

“No time for that! I’m going after her!” Swinging down through the crowd, Cold Shadow launched himself straight towards her, his webbed feet hitting her squarely in the shoulders.

“Still know how to take a girl off her feet,” Jeanie quipped, squirming out from under him. “But I gotta warn you - I’ve taken my abilities up a notch since the last time we did this….”

Cold Shadow scoffed. “I doubt it,” he muttered. “You aren’t even being taught by a proper master, and…”

Jeanie caught him with a sharp left hook. “Shut up and fight.”

“Ooooh now you’ve done it,” he snarled.

The two of them circled each other for a moment, then Cold Shadow flew at Jeanie with the same kick he’d used on the Eggmen on the balustrade. In a lightning move, she caught his foot and tossed him into a nearby column. Not even taking time to gloat, she sprinted off down the hallway.

“Better luck next time, Maui baby!” She called, as Darkwing ran up to him.

“….You let her win?!?” Darkwing yelped, as Cold Shadow struggled to his feet.

“I didn’t have much choice. She caught me off guard … she’s level with me, now,” he mumbled, rubbing his cheek. “I wasn’t expecting that. I don’t see how she could have possibly… unless…”

“Uh huh,” Darkwing shrugged. “Have you seen….”

“DW! Hey! Over here!”

“Launchpad,” Darkwing finished, as his sidekick came lumbering up to him, an unconscious Megavolt and Bushroot slung over his broad shoulders.

”Do I smell grilled veggies?” Cold Shadow sniffed, lifting his blindfold. “Whoa!… Nice work, Launchpad.”

“How’d you manage that?” Darkwing asked.

The pilot smiled sheepishly. “Well, they were both running at me … and I ducked.”

Darkwing laughed. “Works as good as anything,” he smiled, clapping his friend on the shoulder. “And at least we got them all. I didn’t see Steelbeak - but he’s not one to act on the first night of something like this… he’ll strike later.”

“Or not,” Cold Shadow fretted, pointing to the case at the end of the gallery. “It’s gone.”

“GONE?” Darkwing spluttered, racing up to the case, only to find a neat circular hole where the artifact had been. “But HOW? We didn’t see him - and we took care of everyone else!”

“I don’t know…” Cold Shadow fretted. “I doubt Jeanie could have taken it … she wasn’t even near it…”

“Well, at any rate,” Darkwing realized, grabbing his cousin by the arm, “we’ve got to get out of here. The police here have a hard time telling a costumed hero from a crook….”

“What?” Cold Shadow blurted, as the three of them headed for the exit. “You know what, I hate to be the one to have to tell you this, cuz, but…”

“What?”

“Your city sucks.”

“WHAT?!? Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please!”

Cold Shadow folded his arms. “Well, back on the Island - “

“Ohhh, the Islannnnd,” Darkwing said mockingly.

“-our police could tell the difference between the good guys and the bad guys.”

“Ha.”

”There were also no mutants, and no strange costumed villains running around with sparkplugs and botany mishaps on their heads!!”

Darkwing stared at him incredulously. “And you call that a city??”

“Guys,” Launchpad put in as they piled into Darkwing’s car, Maui in the driver’s seat, “can we stop and get a burger?”

“I could use coffee,” Darkwing nodded.

“Me, too,” Maui said, tossing his blindfold into the backseat so that it landed on his cousin’s hat. “Anyway, like I was saying. Quackahula’s much better than this place.”

“Is not!”

“Is too!”

“Is so most definitely NOT!”

”I am totally thinkin’ it IS!”

Launchpad drummed his fingers on the dashboard. “….Can I get my burger now?”

Steelbeak smiled as he looked at the tiny object wrapped in his handkerchief, nestled in his palm. “Well, it was a lotta woik ta get dis ting,” he mused. “It bettah be woith it. Tho’ I can’t see why it could be.” He looked up to see Jeanie smiling at him, her helmet now tucked under her arm. “… I gotta hand it to ya, babe, you were a lotta help. You new? I don’ recognize ya. Ya musta signed on while I was outta town….”

“Yeah,” she lied. “My name’s Jeanie.”

“Jeanie, eh?” He nodded. “Yer not too bad fer a newbie. … Any idea what dis ting does?”

She frowned, holding out a hand as Steelbeak unwrapped the object - a tiny, crudely carved stone orchid. “Let me see it….” The instant he tipped it carefully into her palm, she clenched her fingers around it and headed for the door. “Thanks muchly, handsome,” she smiled, waving. “It’s been fun…”

“Not. So. Fast, Blondie.” Gabriel Marie Noonan hissed, barring the door as she brandished a letter opener like a dagger in Jeanie’s face. “You’re not leaving here until you tell us everything - where you’re from, who you work for … what this thing does … and most importantly, who you are.”

Jeanie gulped as the point of the letter opener glistened at her throat. Pick your words carefully, Jeanie girl….

“I am not a blonde!” She frowned petulantly.

End Casefile TQC#0102