Other Things Worthy of Your Time
Untitled Rant on Religion and Motivation
6/24/04
What is the first thing you think of when you get up in the morning?
Life is meaningless if you do it right. Doing it right will get you to the place you want to be, but everything you will have done complementary to the only thing you needed to will mean nothing, at least as far as I'm concerned. Let me elucidate (I have no idea why that word came to mind, it seemed wrong, so I looked it up, I was right...even though I'm sure I've never used it before): I believe in Heaven, a Lake of Eternal Fire, and all that's Ever After, and I believe that the only way to get there is through Christian beliefs, accepting Jesus as the Son of God and embracing the fact that his actions are the only thing that will get you there. There's stories of how good actions are only supplementary (a crown of jewels, with jewels being laid for the actions), post facto of Christ's passion as the only ticket to Heaven, and I believe them as well. I just haven't come across them for myself yet, because I haven't read the good book in a long time, because I haven't cared, for the reason that I'm going into now. The only thing that matters to me is keeping myself out of the eternal fire thing. I'm also pretty sure that the day I'd actually gaze upon my creator would be the day I'd forget about everything else, which means that crown of jewels would mean nothing, and actually, as I also understand, everybody's going to lay that crown down when they see their maker, so it's not just me. I have no doubt He'll be beautiful, and it's the one thing in my life that I can get pure joy just thinking about, and never feeling regret, never feeling loss, never feeling anything that I wouldn't want. There are lapses when I find joy like that from other sources, but they're passive, and always reluctantly linked to regret and eventual disappointment. The love of my life, if it were to be, would merely be something in my life, and secondary to the concept of love that engulfs me just to think about. It gets to the point where sometimes (especially in the mornings when I wake up to the house I live alone in--a tidbit I'm throwing in--and hence the purpose of saying all this within the boundaries of this little e-mail survey question) I don't care. My motivation lacks sometimes because I get tired, and my faith has become so complete that it's not even an implanted belief in something you can't see or touch but an expectation, and a longing. Sometimes I'd just rather wait my life out. There's only eighty or so years to go...tops.
NOTES
I wrote this in response to an e-mail survey question...