| JOKES!!!! |
| Ok, so some jokes...here we go!!!! Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Do you have a banana in your ear? I can't hear you, I have a banana in my ear. Two sausages are in a pan. One says 'Geez, its hot in here!', and the other one says 'AHHHHH a talking sausage!' Whats green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table. Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lies about the wheels. When ducks fly in a V, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more ducks on that side. Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs is both the same How do you catch an orange elephant? I dont know, I've never seen an orange elephant. Why did the girl fall off her bike? Someone threw a piano at her. Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other 'how do we drive this thing?' A guy was walking down the street when he noticed a little boy walking around with a piece of steak on his head. So he asked ;little boy, why do u have a piece of steak on ur head?' 'I'm not a boy' the boy answered. 'I'm a fork.' Why did the chicken cross the road? The Bible: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. Jerry Seinfield: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesnt anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?" The Pope: That is only for God to know. Grandpa: In my day, we didnt ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However after planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he was captured only 2 blocks away when his econoline ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied: (brace yourself) (this is going to hurt) (really bad.) "I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh." A teacher asks a student 'if you have 3 birds on a telephone wire and a farmer shoots one, how many do you have left?' The boy says 'none, because the other two will fly away.' The teacher says 'Il ike the way you think, but its not the answer I was looking for.' 'Well let me ask you a question' the boy says 'there are three women, one is licking an icecream, one is sucking a lollipop and the other is biting an icypole. which one is married?' 'ummm, the one sucking?' the teacher whispers 'no, the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but i like the way you think.' |