Snail
This
is boring.
I
never knew until that moment what it was like to lose something I never had.
It
was an early evening of Saturday when I attended a school party. It
was an annual event of which is my third time (out o my 4 years stay
in College) to join in. In my mind, I know this night is gonna
be different from the past BA Night (the event I
attended). The fact that it was not raining (for it was a wet week
the whole week 'round) is a clue that this night will not just be an
ordinary day for me. Well, to give you a rundown of the preparations
I made, I went to a mall early that afternoon to buy a royal blue
short-sleeved polo. It wasn't a formal party but I saw this style of
clothing from a magazine matched with a tie loosely attached to the
neck and faded jeans for my legs
(click here to get a picture of it).
Due to my excitement, I forgot to remove the tag of the polo from
the back neckline but it looked like I left it fixed intentionally.
Also, on my way to school, I made a stop to go to the Church first.
After that, I went straight to school because it's already 6:30 pm
and the party is supposed to start at 6:00 pm.
I want to tell you that the first person
my eyes recognized, someone I know personally, is the girl I have
mention in 8:25. Though, there
was another friend of mine who shouted my name, near the entrance,
it is still her that first register in my consciousness and the
first person my eyes want to see, unconsciously. She looked so
beautiful in her simple attire of jeans and cute tee. I wasn't
expecting her get-up. Early that day, she text me about her wearing
a skirt. I told her it would be perfect for her. And to tell you the
truth, I bought a new polo just to match her hypothetical get-up
(the one I am picturing of her). But she was wearing no skirt.
Still, I don't care; what she's displaying seems okay for my taste
too.
What
I don't understand is that, it seems like she's looking for someone
though I already saw her two girl best friends inside the premises.
I greeted her and did the same to me too. The ride to school wasn't
good and so I proceed to the nearest Comfort room to fix myself. I
washed my face, sprayed some scent and wet my hair to apply gel
again. In minutes, I went back to where she was. But I can't see her
and so I tried to look for some of my friends in the crowd.
Time
ticks and it is 7:30 pm. The number of students increases but they
weren't that huge. And the party is late for more than an hour
already. Then, the stage lit up and in no time, they were officially
gracing the event. The first part of the event is recognitions of
the winners of the Sports Activity, Talent Competition, Quiz Bowl
and other activities that happened in the same week in connection
with the BA Week Celebration. Of course, not that I'm
bragging, I am also one
of the recipient of the certificates winning the second place in the
Quiz Bowl Team Competition (it's not mine alone). I also receive
recognitions for the Dean's Lister and the Scholarship grant I have.
All
the time I come to stage, I can't see her from the background. It
was only in the second time that I saw her at the back standing with
someone. She's with him, her boyfriend. At that moment, I understand
why she was so anxious waiting for someone in the entrance. He was
wearing a simple t-shirt but I forgot what color it was (Hell? Like
I care?). I act as if they weren't there.
As
I took my seat in the crowd, my friends at the back were calling me to
sit with them. I wanted to, but I don't want to see both of them
together. So I told them 'no', though I like to be spending my time
having fun with all of them.
Fast
forward, the formal part of the party has ended. The rave has now
started. Seats were pushed back and they sort of mess up. And with one
glance at my right, there goes a view of them, sharing the moment
together. Though I pretended not to be affected, I can't. Still it
shows. Many of my friends teased me of why can't I look at the 2 of
them. My excuse was "Why should I?"
---------to
be continued---------
And
at that very moment, I felt, once again, how hard it was to lose someone you never
really had.
How
I wish my emotions were of that of a snail's muscular foot; an odd feature
which makes it impossible for the slimy creature to inch or creep
backward, leaving them no option at all but to move forward and leave that
space for good.
Too
bad, mine were not... ='c
-J.K.P.
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