| Never, Ever Give Up |
| In the world according to Homer Simpson: If at first you don�t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. But what do you do when the evidence is witnessed by nine million people and involves a castrato interpretation of Britney Spears�s Hit Me Baby One More Time? Those who voted for the use of a time machine and memory toxin have my sympathies. I too had a lonely childhood, one bereft of friends, and my sole companion was a dog-eared copy of the Collected Short Stories of Isaac Asimov. Unfortunately the ability to travel back through the space/time continuum was unavailable to a certain young man from Bearsden. He had no choice but to try again and succeed. And succeed he did. Darius Danesh may not have entirely erased memories of him on Popstars with ponytail and goatee (and who knows what other animal parts), clicking his fingers, stamping his feet and crooning out how there was "a lotta lurve in the room", but at least he can enjoy the last laugh. After softening the ground with a number1 single, his debut album currently sits at number5 in the charts, a tour beckons and, on Saturday night, he is the subject on a primetime documentary on BBC1 titled simply Darius. So for a noble display of resolution in the face of adversity, for defeating doubters with self-belief and well, frankly, just wielding a Bic razor against those whiskers, I appoint Darius as my Scot of the Year. Traditionally this is a position hogged by a sportsman or a member of the disabled community, well, not this year. In a nation crippled with self-doubt, where a "can-do" culture is repeatedly mugged by "cannae", the story of Darius Danesh serves as an inspiration to us all. Whereas another charismatic young singer who failed to achieve success in an open audition (for TV rock band The Monkees), one Charles Manson, turned to more diabolical behaviour to achieve lasting fame, Darius had a crack at Pop Idol. Where the winners of that series appear as puppets to their management, singing songs someone else wrote, our champ scribbled his own and, according to Noel Gallagher, he of the monobrow but his own front teeth, they deserve "respect, man". And so does Darius himself. He�s tall, good-looking and supremely confident. This probably comes from his Persian ancestry, but since he actually looks good in a kilt we�re claiming him as our own. I even liked his single, one of those catchy songs that even trepanation can�t remove from your head. However, he does have his faults. Talk of "snuggling up" to your parents over Christmas is acceptable only among the hill country of Virginia and even then preferably from a Hillbilly called Darlene. Thumb rings are another pet hate, crying out, as they do, to be bent back. Yet in comparison to David Sneddon, the recent winner of BBC�s Fame Academy and thus our other ambassador to the world of light entertainment, Darius comes across as Cary Grant to Sneddon�s Rab C Nesbitt. The news from his mother that young David, despite his winnings, would be content with his traditional Christmas present, a case of his favourite lager, merely serves to perpetuate the image of the Scots as drunken chancers. No. Darius is the chap to lead us to a brighter new tomorrow. Darius is the man to inspire this country�s younger generation to get up, dust themselves down and pursue their dreams no matter how many young children stop in the street and point. Winston Churchill was once famously invited to give the graduation address at Oxford University. Instead of the sweeping oration and veritable tidal wave of words the students expected from such an eloquent and powerful speaker, Churchill restricted his advice on their future to just four words: "Never, ever give up." The Greatest Britain would undoubtedly have approved of the attitude of tenacity shown by Darius Danesh: a young but still Great Scot. Thankyou to The Scotsman for the story |
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