today was a typical day at school. i find myself showering in the morning and thinking to myself that i'll be doing it again the next day before i know it. so when i get home from school, i check my email. brandyn and i haven't been talking in person since for nearly 5 days, only communicating vague phrases through emails. so he sends me one saying "it's over." i reply with a "what's over?" he replies to that with simply the word "us." so i reply back saying "what the fuck?" sadly, i've become so used to his shit, it doesn't really bother me. i doubt he means it anyway. i really just don't care much anymore.

so after my online confusion, i call christy to see what she's doing. she wants to go to the pool hall tonight with some friends. nikki was supposed to pick candice, steven, jamie, and leia up at 6:00. considering their mother is hitler, they didn't show up at christy's until 7:15. so christy, robyn, steven, candice, jamie, leia, nikki, jess and i meet candice's friend nikki there and robyn's friend ryan (i knew neither one of them). yeah, so we get there and this ryan kid looks really familiar. it turns out he used to go to my school back in the day, and he had a slight infatuation with me if i remember correctly. it made it terribly awkward because i guess he told robyn that he'd really like to get together with me. he's not my type at all. to make things worse, steven was there, and i have a slight infatuation with him. as i was sitting on the floor holding on to his leg, he began caressing my neck. i just looked up into his eyes, and he looked right back into mine. my eyes automatically focused elsewhere, as i felt he could see inside me, and i became embarrassed and afraid.

although, i have learned that i'm really terrible at pool, i always have the greatest times when i'm with them. i know these are the times i'll look back upon and smile. i love them all so much, and i wish i could see more of them. we left around 10:45, and i went home alone, smoked a cigarette on the way, and went to bed.

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1