..i don't like the drugs but the drugs like me..

an hour later and 35 packets of sugar.
just got home from an morning at denny's with some co-workers. there's no way in hell i'm sleeping tonight.

i spent the last 20 minutes or so looking through brandyn's web page. no matter how many times i glimpse into his world, i just can't get used to the fact that it's over. i reminisce about the time we spent together in these last few years, and it makes me sad. sad not only because i'm losing someone that means the world to me, but sad in the fact that our friendship seems to be suffering as well. my mind creates a picture of him, in all his perfection, and i am lonely. i not only long for the way things used to be between us, but i long for my friend. (i'm sure if you're reading this brandyn, you're thinking to yourself "well, you brought it upon yourself"). but regardless of who's at fault and who's the victim, it still remains that he is my world. he is the air i breathe. the dirt i walk on. the heart inside my chest. the tears i cry. the smile that spreads across my face. consciousness. unconsciousness. existence.
so i've decided to dedicate a portion, in reflection to your section dedicated to me, to you.

reflection.

so i put up a few new pics in the 'visual' section tonight as well. but i have to forewarn you, some are rather frightening.

i've decided that the first thing i'm going to do after my last day at work is to paint my nails black. it's been waaay too long. muahhahahahahh...