Ahhh... my friends are great!
And so is the stupid stuff they say!

(I swear I wasn't drunk for this one, guys!)

"I can climb mountains with my butt."
-Mikal

"Okay, I'm going down."
-Mikal

"Here, feel this package. These ones are thicker."
-Mikal

"It doesn't have fat rolls anymore."
-Jenny
"That's because I slept with it."
-Megan
(later...)"Nothing I sleep with has fat rolls."
-Patrick

"Jenny don't skip class, it makes you stupid."
-Megan

"I can't stand peeing up!"
-Jenny (drunk)

"Drunk, are you Jon?"
-Jenny (drunk again)

"Is that my phone? No, it must be my alarm clock."
-Megan

"You might decide to change your mind."
-Jenny

"Don't say 'I'm gonna eat you'."
-Jenny
"Jenny, I would never eat you."
-Megan

"Have you ever tasted dick before? Because this tastes a lot like it."
-Joel

"Let's just start fuckin' pumping them!"
-Jared

"I packed my anus full of razor blades and syringes."
-Jared

"Hey, I said effective. That's a $2 word!"
-Tess

"You gave my hair a boner!"
-Tess

"I was dumb when I was a little kid."
-Tess

"I want a stick!"
-Tess

"I can't get it up!"
-Tess

"Hey Jenny, do you have some clear nail polish I could use?"
-Brian

"I guess I touched his penis."
-Joel (talking about Bill)

"Joel, are you washing your dishes with a sock?"
-Jared
"It's clean."
-Joel

"I don't care about statistics; I watch the men."
-Joel

"They shave. You don't want a fuzzy flag."
-Joel

"Tess' brain is like a vacuum; everything goes in but nothing comes out."
-Brian

"I use my brain. I obviously have to if I talk."
-Tess

"Pencil."
-Jenny

(Yes, that's me)

"Hey Heinze, wanna suck with me?"
-Brian

***Tell me if I missed something stupid that someone has said.
Or even if I have said something stupid (gee, can't imagine THAT!),
tell me and I'll add it to the list!***