Aching Relief

It's better to seek, and find defeat,
Than never to try, and wonder "what if?".
I'm glad I asked; I'd rather know.
But it's hard now, to have just this.
I screw things up with some guy friends;
They're only friends, I think they flirt.
I might need someone else for now,
To make my mind think of you less.
I don't know how to be just friends,
With someone who I thought more of.
And I feel that I need more time;
I can't pretend it's right quite yet.
I'll just let things be what they are,
And hope that we can be good friends.
~2003~