So here is my sister, Kristen, again. This is what she does when her friends aren't online -- she opens up a window and pretends they're there. Then she makes all manner of derogatory slurs towards homosexuals and the mentally disabled. Also, she quotes parts of the first Lord of the Rings movie. I don't know... what's YOUR diagnosis?
me mo...
hello, karel.
karel.
agh.
if you were a pirate, would you be the captain, the firstmate or the guy who mops the poopdeck?
i would be the captain...
y'arg!
pirates!
karel?
oh, i get it. i guess you're too good for me now, right?
well-guess what!
today, i had the antiques roadshow on mute
and i had the closed captioning on
so i was sitting there for like an hour reading what the people were saying
and everyone (else in the house) was listening to me in the other room
and they thought that i had lost my mind
but, as you can tell from my composure, karel, i am perfectly sane
i can tie my shoelaces, see?
and my tie
takes a great deal of care you know, to get it tied around your neck all proper without looking like a lunatic with a big scarf around your neck
thats right.
why aren't you talking to me, karel?
are you frightened?
karel says: yes
not nearly frightened enough-i know what hunts you!
ahhh!
one cannot simply walk into mordor
there is evil there that does not sleep
the great eye (makes a circle with his index finger and thumb) is ever watchful
blahblahblah...not even with a thousand men could you endure this, it is folly
Have you heard nothing lord elrond has said?! the ring must be destroyed!
and i suppose you think you're the one to do it then?
-and if we fail, what then? what will happen when sauron takes back what is his?
I will be dead before i see the ring in the hands of an elf!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
GUESS WHAT?
Joey beechy added me to his msn list
(eeeewwwwww. joey beechy!)
maybe he is unaware of the fact that I UTTERLY LOATHE HIM!
could you be a doll and tell him for me
me mo\
joey is such a fag
OH!
today at the library, i was eating while i was reading my email
and this old fat chick goes "You can't eat in here-and then she made a face like this
so i was like okay
and then i wrote on the screen "little does this librarian know, i have already decided where to dispose of her corpse! Muahahahaha!"
and then she was still there
and she read what was on the screen
and then she made a face like this
and then she left
-long has my father, the steward of gondor, kept the forces of mordor at bay. by the blood of our people are your lands kept safe
...give gondor the weapon of the enemy-let us use it against him!
-you cannot weild it! none of us can!
...the one ring answers to sauron alone-it has no other master
-and WHAT would a ranger know of this matter?
-this is no mere ranger-he is Aragorn, son of Arathorn-you owe him your alleigance!
-THIS is Isildor's heir?
-and heir to the throne of Gondor!
Gondor has no king-gondor needs no king
aragorn is right. we cannot use it
then we have but one choice-the ring must be destroyed
-WELL WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?!
the ring, gimli, son of gloin, cannot be destroyed by any craft that we here posess
it must be brought deep into the land of mordor and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came!
one of you must do this
one cannot simply walk into mordor
AGH! now im repeating myself
thats some home theatre for you ther, karel
oh, god-now diane's online
she's gonna want to have a REAL two-sided conversation
what do i do!
karel: im a jackass
not now, karel, please!
can't you be serious for a second?!
you know what a really retarded commercial is?
that fucked up commercial about Celino and Barnes
"Hi, im Ross Celino."
"And im Steve Barnes"
man,
what a bunch of assholes.
what the fuck were they thinking?
so, im on this website
and its elfwood.com
right?
and its all this folklore artwork
and some of it
is really really bad.
like
REALLY
bad
and some of these people are like 30
and they couldn't draw shit if their life depended on it
like, if you gave one of these assholes a pencil and said "on this paper draw some shit or else im going to kill you," they would be unable to do it
like- in not saying its all bad
far from it
most of it is very impressive
but some of it
....
its just really really bad...
and some of these people cannot spell
and i can understand that
to a degree
i mean, i make mistakes all the time when im typing very fast
but these people
...could not spell to save their lives
so anyways, back to our conversation about pirates...
i was thinking
you,
me
and maybe some other people
could buy a boat
buy a pirate flag,
buy some pirate costumes,
and go sail the seven seas in our pirate ship
and we can steal pirate booty
and use it to buy ourselves nice things
OH MY GOD
THIS ARTWORK SUCKS
like, you would think after drawing and working on it for like 20 years you would be a little better at it
i think the problem is, for whatever reason, these people do not know that they suck
.
so they are getting all this praise and applause for this art that sucks
and they think 'it must be good because all of these other retards like it'
so they just keep on doing what their doing
totally oblivious to the fact that their artwork sucks.
oh my god.
it is SO bad
i think im getting teary-eyed
i have to exit this website-its depressing me
hey karel?
do you have any musical talents?
hmm..
you know
i feel sort oflike im putting all of the effort into the conversation here
hey!
what kind of music do you listen to?
i don't think you and i have ever really had a decent conversation about music
well, what kind of music do you like?
i don't think you like rap
you don't like metal
you proabably think 'punkers are a bunch of immature little turds
you aren't very openminded
infact
you are closeminded
that sadens me, karel
do you know what my absolute favorite song is?
it's "I am a cloud" by boy hits car
and then after that it would have to be 'stupify' by disturbed
now-i know what you're thinking
disturbed is a very...frightening band
but david really does have a beautiful voice
and i didn't know that untill i listened to his cd
see, because sometimes when you try different things, although they may intimmidate you at first, can be quite enjoyable
and you may actually find that you like it
did you know that someone drank all of my vanilla coke
it was that HEATHEN, alyssa
she makes me so mad
i could just beat her with a wooden cane
give her an old fashioned flogging
that will set her straight
you know what's really sad
you're probably going to go on your computer and find this whole conversation
and you will be deeply disturbed
and then you can bring it to school and show everyone what a madman i am!
that would be pretty funny
i'd have to kick your ass
hahah
a
oh
i came home like two nights ago, and i caught my dad watching antiques roadshow
and then, today i walked into the room and it was on, and he was in there cleaning gun parts
and i was like "...dad..whatcha doing"
and he's like
"Nothing"
and i was like "you're not watching antiques roadshow?"
and he was just like "No, it was probably your mother"
but my mother wasn't home
he's in denial
i bet he's secretly gay
it would not surprise me
you know what?
i bet you probably wont read this
because you NEVER ta;lk to me on msn
and when you do-its ALWAYS about alison
or about you having a crush on alison
or about how your sad because of alison
sometimes i want to hit you in the head with a toilet seat
you never ever ask about ME and how my day was or about who I might be sad about! you just care about ALISON
grr.
i should do that now
I'll go ALISON to you, and then I'll go BRAD to amanda
NO! i know what you're thinking-your thinking-everyone is worried about alison because her boyfriends an asswipe
but this started WAY before she started going out with that dipshit
oh yes
i know all about you
your a nasty little boy
i hold your mom reads this. i hope she reads this and gives you a good talking to about not hanging around with strange girls who spend an hour talking to people hat aren't actually there.
at least im not as weird as katie
'oh my god, what would you guys be like in bed"
GOOD GOD katie!
that girl needs to get her mind out of the gutter
i swear to god, its all of those GSS boys
they are trouble
and they're all fucking morons
my sister went out ith a GSS boy
he was stupid-just as matt, glen, mikeand all of those other retards are stupid
but, now that i think of it-we have a whole shitload of idiots going to our school, right? so i guess BT is a shit-head school too
oh, did i tell you we have a BT flag?
yeah
is that fucking gay or what?
i bet it was restivo's idea
i bet he has like five of them
and he sewed a whole bunch of them together and made a dress out of it
and he wears it at home and listens to Celine Dion
and talks to people on the phone when it's not plugged in.
i bet he wears high heels too
anyways... i bet he'd cry if the flag was stolen
lets do it
lets go there at night and cut it down
or shoot it with paintball guns
untill its all crap-coloured
and then restivo will suspend us
because we don't have enough BT pride
HAHAHAHA
oh my od
agh
god
i was at the library today and the keyboard was fucked.
like REALLY fucked
could not do a fucking thing with it.
im sitting there, trying to type and its just like ERTGERAO[JYER[FCM,SDFMNWSAE'HIOFPLKJZDSF
and i was like WHAT THE FUCK
so i got mad
and then the fat librarian yelled at me for eating
...yes.
hmm...
this is a pretty long convo, eh?
especially since im the only one typing
im so stupid.
i should change my name to something really retarded
lets brainstorm retarded names-so when people go online, they will know im stupid before they talk to me
sort of like an FYI
okay-lets brainstorm
jackass-ass, stupid, moron-fucking moron, retard-retarded person with no life, shit, shithead
i can't concentrate
my sister is typing on the other computer
and all i can hear is clicking
okay!
im going to change my name to 'idiot' or fucking moron
hold on!
okay!
i changed my name
it SHOULD say idiot
so, i don't know
mine says idiot
...
you know whats a good song-whatever by godsmack
actually, its not that great
well, i don't know
its okay
its like-half the music out there
but the people who make the music are fucking retarded, you know?
and how can you respect the music if you have no respect for the people who made it
did you know that the pope has his own toilet?
yeah
.
a really special toilet that no one else can use
thats crazy!!!
meow. kitty
wow. im fucked.
hold on
i'll be back in a second
okay
my sister is beating me up
but before i go
what do you think about when you hear the word 'skanky'
i think about like a really old, crappy sponge
or like, a dead racoon
something really small and furry, that you're not really sure what it is
thats what i think about
yeah..
i have to go
i hope you are enlightened
hah
you had better eventually read this!
actually, maybe it's better that you don't.
i don't know.
i'll talk to you on monday
and ill bring this convo
and then you can point and laugh at me
and call me a loser.
okay?
yeah.
see yeah
