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It had always been a thing far, far away �V out of reach, out of touch �V or perhaps an idea, indistinct and undefined. But now, a path is suddenly visible, and thus I become dubious of my own actions, questioning every thought. The resolve that had been strongly rooted in me was now nowhere to be found. Like a little boy I had stood outside a gigantic castle, staring past the thick walls around the keep at the single high turret. It was an isolated tower, peaking above the surrounding. I had looked at it with longing for many months. The moat discouraged any thoughts of mine and the guarding dragon even more so. But now the dragon lay wounded and the drawbridge was down, and all I can do is stay fixed on the same spot and continue to take in the view. I shall never enter the fortress. That is a dream and it has no place in reality. I will never ascend the stairway of the tower. Through the window on the side, I can see the light within the little room flicker and die out, giving way to an impenetrable darkness. armodons | 3/6/02

All our lives are filled with largely unpredictable event. Some may be remembered by us, while others forgotten. But the important thing is that all things are remembered. No matter how insignificant we deem something, there will be someone who has stored that particular time, that particular place, that particular event in their memory. At first the memory is sharp and clear, with all the intricate details in place. As time wears all things down, the memory loses clarity and only the significant points are remembered. Finally, even that is lost. Only the feelings associated with the memory are retained. All other becomes irrelevant. And it is this feeling that will stay forever in the mind of the person. When someone claims they recall an event long past, it is this distinct sensation they recall, not the memory itself. That has been substituted by this emotion, which is ever-present. It is never forgotten and it never fades or diminishes in intensity. The ��memory�� will live for eternity. armodons | 2/25/02

The serene calmness is strongest before the calamity. In a way, the peace and quiet is all just pretense. armodons | 2/5/02

There are other times for such things - better times, when goals are better defined, when reason is better tuned, when the experience is better attained, and when we least expect it. What a funny business life is. What we want most we get least. Finally, when we stop caring, when all desire or longing or affection for it finally peels away, then the faint possibility of success appears. armodons | 2/4/02

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