These Days

It’s funny how people come and go in and out of your life. People use you for their own benefit, they play with your mind and feelings, they lie and they betray. Why? Because they don’t know any better, it’s the only thing they’ve been taught. It’s their way of getting what they want. It just keeps on demonstrating that nothing lasts forever and that true friends don’t exist. I hate admitting this because I do believe in real connections between people and I do believe in true friendships. I guess we just have to go through bad experiences in order to realize the real things we have and those that actually are worth lasting. I’ve lost so many important people in my life already. Some of them choose to leave me; others are separated by distance, most drift away and some move on to better things. I know people have to choose different paths at sometime in their life, yet it’s not fair how these people are taken away from me entirely. All I’m trying to say is that it’s unfair to be given such great people and then take them away. I guess deep down I know I learned an important lesson and values from each one of them and they help make who I am. Their influence will always be with me and they will always occupy a place within me.

I guess I’m just scared of loosing the ones I love because I’ve lost so many special people already. This is indeed one of my biggest fears. You have no idea how I miss Niolani, Diannette, Angel, Gabriel or Christopher. Sure I talk to them from time to time but it’s not the same. The friendship is no longer there, they don’t know what really goes on in my life or how I’ve changed. And these are people that have been big chapters of my life and have spent with me some very difficult as well as good times. I guess I just wanted to take a little time out of my day to say how much I miss them and hope for us to meet again.  

I feel lonely these days, just missing some good old friends.