“Why are you acting so weird lately, Lou?” Rupert asked, running after me as I left school. I stopped to let him catch up.

“I’m not.”

“Yeah you are!” He slipped his arm around me. “You never wanna be Ru-and-Lou anymore.”

“Yes I do! We’re being Ru-and-Lou now, aren’t we?”

He didn’t answer.

“So are we going to your house?”

“Why don’t you go to Nat’s, since you love her so much.” He stalked off. I ran after him.
”She’s your girlfriend! She’s just my friend! It’s just-we need to talk about some things.”
”She’s not my girlfriend-what things.”

“Girl things.”

Rupert rolled his eyes and walked off. I don’t know what’s got into him lately. I went to my house and put on the TV. I couldn’t concentrate, so I switched the TV off. I want food, but I’ve got no appetite. I hugged a sofa cushion, and found myself almost crying. It sounds silly, but it feels like Ru and I aren’t even friends any more; and all because I like his brother and he wants more. Maybe I should just forget about Ben, and only think of the note guy, whoever he is. This is getting stupid; I don’t want to lose my best friend. I’m going to sort things out with him. I ran around the block to the front door, and found Mark hanging around outside.
”Mark? What are you doing out here?”

“I was going to knock, but I thought I’d let Rupert and Ben finish their argument.”

He nodded towards the house. I could hear them faintly. While I strained to hear, Mark would his arms around me. I hugged back, and started wondering-could he be the one sending me messages? He’s old, enough to leave high school if he wanted. I think anyway. And Rupert couldn’t say much if my note guy was Mark.

“Mark?”

“Yeah Lou hun?”

Oh, that proves it!

“Why can’t you let Nat tell me who’s sending me those notes?”

Mark started stroking my hair.

“The situation’s complicated Lou. He’s dying to tell you, he thinks you feel the same way. Toby, Nat and me are working our butts off, trying to find a way to make it work.”

“It’s not you?”

He laughed.

“No, sorry Lou.”

“Who is it?”

He looked around slightly cagily.

“I can’t tell you . . . but whatever’s going on today is a pretty good clue.”

At that moment, Ben flew out of his front door, and stormed up to me and Mark. For some reason, Mark sprung away from me. Ben kept his eyes on Mark.

“C’mon Mark, I can’t bear to be around him right now, little snot.”

They headed off up the street.

“Bye!” I called out. Mark called back, and Ben turned, walking backwards. Is he watching me? All I want is for him to run up to me and hug me. But he turned around instead, and disappeared with Mark.

“Why’re you here?” Someone asked. I turned and saw Rupert, tears trickling down his face. I approached him and pulled him into a hug.

“I wanted to say sorry for earlier.”

“I’m sorry too.” He sniffed.

“Why’re you crying?”

“Because Ben’s a jerk!”

“Ben? No, he can’t be. He’s always nice when it’s both of us.”

“Yeah, well.” He sniffed again. “You coming in?”

I nodded, and we went up to his room, sitting side by side on his bed.

“We don’t talk properly, do we?” He sighed.

“No. Guess that’s why we’ve been weird lately.”

“Yeah, should we start talking?”

“You first.” I smiled, and put my head on his shoulder.

“I hate fighting with Ben. We keep doing it though.”

“What do you fight about?”

He sighed, and started fidgeting with a power rangers toy.

“I like you, okay? I really, really like you. But Ben thinks he knows better. He says you won’t like me back, not enough to be my girlfriend.”

“Ru, you’re my best friend, I can’t be your girlfriend.”

“Why not?”

He told me. I’d better tell him. I took a deep breath in.

“Because we’re best friends, and . . . and I like Ben.”

He looked at me, but I didn’t look back.

“Ben? BEN? Why?”

“I don’t know.”

“Since when?”

“Since I first met him.”

“So . . . either I accept I’ll never have you or you do the same with Ben. Or both.”

I met his eyes and saw how sad he looked. I hugged him again.

“It’s not like Ben’ll ever want me back. But you’re still my best friend. I don’t ever want to ruin it.”

He hugged back, understanding. And who said childhood was easy?

 

‘Lou,
      I heard about your talk with Rupert, and he knows to stop pining for you. So, you ‘like’ Ben, huh? I have a few thoughts on that but writing them down would kinda give me away. And I heard about your conversation with Mark-why did you think he was me? We’re good friends, sure, but Mark never would. Sorry. But now you know he knows, you can talk to him as well as Nat.

      I have a feeling you’ll know who I am soon. Just wait for me.

      X’