Chapter 20

 

He fiddled with the clasp at the back of my neck and I smiled at the reflection in the mirror.

 

“Its perfect, thanks.”

 

I admired the necklace, it was very pretty, silver with little purple butterflies hanging down from it.

 

“Happy birthday,” Simon replied, kissing me on the back of my neck.

 

We sat back down on his bed and began kissing gently until I felt his hand rest on my bare leg and begin to slide slightly up my dress.

 

I quickly pulled away and took his hand firmly.

 

“Not yet,” I breathed, “just wait a few more hours.”

 

“Sorry, I get carried away,” he replied, getting quickly off the bed and sorting his hair out in the mirror.

 

I looked down at the bed and my stomach jumped.  In a few hours time we were going to be back up here, except we would be having sex.  I would be having sex on this bed.  Scary!  Very scary.

 

I caught his glance in the mirror and he smiled at me gently, immediately relaxing my nerves.

 

OK, maybe not so scary.

 

“You nearly ready to go?” he asked.

 

“Yep.”

 

We left the house and began the short walk down to the pub.

 

“Your mum OK about you staying over tonight?” he asked as we walked.

 

“Not exactly,” I replied, “I told her I’d be staying at Jemma’s.”

 

“Sneaky!”

“Your Mum OK with it?”

 

“We didn’t exactly discuss it,” he admitted, “she just announced that she was going out and wouldn’t be back until late.”

 

“Her way of saying its OK maybe,” I pondered.

 

We reached the pub and were immediately greeted by Gillian.

 

“Ahhh loves young dream,” she smiled, welcoming us in and showing us to our table.

 

“That’s the problem with the local pub,” Simon commented when she had left us alone.

 

“What’s that?”

 

“It’s full of local people.”

 

“Ahhh, most of them aren’t that bad,” I smiled.  Admittedly the village was full of farmers and old gossips, but it could be a lot worse.

 

“Some of them are awful,” he grimaced.

 

I followed his eyes in the direction of the bar and saw immediately who he was referring to.

 

Ben was standing at the bar, looking straight at me and smiling and then to my horror he mouthed ‘happy birthday’ to me before disappearing off into the kitchen.

 

This had been the first time in months that I had seen him properly.  Ever since the cinema incident a month or so back I’d avoided him, and it had got to the point where I had nearly forgotten he even existed.  But then all it had taken was a little look and my stomach was in turmoil again, it was churning over and over, giving me the little giddy feeling that I hadn’t felt for a long time.

 

I turned to Simon, he had noticed too, his eyes were still fixed on the bar and I could tell he was angry.

 

“Ignore him,” I urged him.

 

“How does he know it’s your birthday?”

 

“I don’t know,” I replied.

 

“So you haven’t seen him then?”

 

“Course I haven’t!”

 

I wasn’t sure that he believed me, he had hidden his face back in his menu and I could tell by his slumped shoulders that he was still upset.

 

“Simon,” I called out to him, trying to get his attention back, “he means nothing to me, nothing at all and he isn’t worth bothering about.”

 

“OK,” a voice replied from behind the bit of paper.

 

I took a deep breath, “Simon, I love you.”

That got his attention; he peered out from behind his menu.

 

“You do?” he asked.

 

“Yep, I love you,” I repeated.

 

He stood up out of his seat and lent right across the table to give me a kiss.

 

OK, I had made him happy, but why on earth had I just said that?  I hadn’t meant to, it hadn’t been planned, and I wasn’t even sure it was sincere – it didn’t sound very sincere when it had come out of my mouth, I had an awful feeling I had only said it to dig myself out of a hole.

 

Feeling suddenly very awkward I excused myself and walked quickly towards the ladies, hoping to be able to compose myself and get back in control of the situation.

 

I moved into the next section of the bar, but an arm stopped me just before I reached the door leading to the toilets.

 

“Ben!”

 

“Sorry didn’t mean to make you jump,” he replied, looking straight into my eyes.

 

“It’s OK.”

 

“Just wanted to say happy birthday.”

 

“Thanks,” I replied, not being able to tear myself away from those gorgeous eyes.

 

“Let me get you a drink.”

 

“I cant, I’m with my boyfriend.”

 

“Just one quick one wont hurt,” Ben urged, “please.”

 

Was he begging me?  It sure sounded like he was.

 

I agreed and he ran quickly back over to the bar and returned a few moments later with a drink. 

 

We sat down on a table.

 

“I shouldn’t be here,” I said as I took a quick sip, “I’m only meant to be going to the toilets.”

 

“Its OK, he can’t see, he’s behind a wall,” Ben replied.

 

“But I don’t want to be hiding behind walls”

 

“Its not like we are doing anything though is it?”

I took another quick gulp, trying to steady my nerves.

 

“Are we?” he asked again.

 

“No,” I replied, feeling myself growing hot.

 

“We aren’t are we Kim?”

 

“I don’t think so,” I replied.

 

I was beginning to feel a little light headed and so stood up to open a window.

 

His arm grabbed me on the way back down.

 

“Something is going on isn’t it?” he asked.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“There’s something between us,” he said again.

 

“Not sure,” I took another swig of the drink, this time not coming back for breath until the entire contents had slipped down my throat.

 

“Come back to mine.” He suddenly said.

 

“I can’t, I’m here with Simon.”

 

“Please,” he begged.

 

“Why?”

 

“Want to give you a birthday present,” he smiled gently at me.

 

Once again the fluttery feeling returned in my stomach.  I reached over to find my phone and quickly began to punch in a message.

 

“Sorry – wasn’t feeling v well – ave gone home for a little while, I’ll be round to yours later tho, I promise. I’m really really sorry, Love U K x”

 

And with that I was ready to go.