Ben checked how he looked in the mirror. Nice smart shirt, and his usual baggy trousers. Were they going to let him wear trainers? He hoped so. He was so glad Sammie was being mature enough to still treat this like a proper holiday, and go out like they always did. He sprayed his hair all over; making sure the straighteners had done their job. The curtains looked perfect, as usual, which was good, as he had spent the last hour fiddling. He hoped she thought nothing more than friendship was on the cards tonight, he was still incredibly confused about the way he felt. It shouldn’t be allowed; you should only like one person at the one time. He looked over at his bed, where the red roses and white lilies he had sent lay next to the purple box of chocolates. Maybe they had been the wrong ‘I’m sorry’ present, they were too typical of what he’d give her as her boyfriend. In fact, it was the exact combination he had used to ask her out, on their first date, even on their sixth month anniversary last week. God, it had only been six months. Six short months. It must have been longer, he always felt like it had been, they’d only known each other two years, but it always felt like they’d practically grown up together, they had been so close. He sighed and saw his mobile half hidden under the bouquet. He checked his watch. He still had half an hour until Sammie wanted to go. He walked over and rang the number he knew so well. After three rings, someone picked up.
      “Ben? This isn’t a good time?” Mark sighed into the phone. In the background he heard someone ask “Ben? No, hang up”
      “Mark, please, we need to talk”
      “Ben, I have to talk to Colin, please, it’s best if we go, I’ll talk to you later . . . yes I will Colin!”
      “Mark, we broke up”
      “I know, Siobhan told me earlier” Ben distinctly heard Colin tut when he heard that statement.
      “She did? How did she know?”
      “Sammie told her, obviously. Ben I have to go, you phoning was not a good idea”
      “Why not?”
      “Because, Colin somehow has it in his head that there’s something between you and me, and you calling is only going to make him high and mighty, thinking he’s right”
      “He is right. There has to be something going on if you get into my head so much that I can’t be with the best girlfriend I’ve ever had anymore?”
      “The only person I’m having things with is Siobhan, I keep telling him that, but will he listen? No, all because I repeated what Siobhan said Sammie had said and like most eavesdroppers, he has the wrong end of the stick”
      “Mark what are you on about? I really need to talk things through with you”
      “Well, I guess it was the wrong time for either of us to speak, I hope you and Sammie sort everything out, Bye!”
      Mark hung up, and Ben stared at the phone. He hoped Ben and Sammie would work things out? Okay, the rest of what he was saying made no sense, almost as though he wasn’t listening to Ben and changing what he said to keep Colin happy but that . . . that couldn’t be part of it, surely? Maybe the flowers and chocolates were the best idea, he could make up with Sammie, obviously Mark wasn’t interested. He smiled, grabbed his presents, and ran along to see Sammie.

 

      Colin looked carefully at Mark as he hung up. Mark stared back stonily.
      “What?”
      “Ben and Sammie split up and you’re saying things like ‘stupid girl, can’t she see Ben belongs to me’? Yet you aren’t gay, nothing’s going on. Right Mark, sorry if I don’t believe this straight away, especially when I think of how you treat your girlfriend and how much she lets you get away with, unless you can’t remember this morning as clearly as I can”
      Trust Colin to have a photographic memory as well as bat ears. Nothing gets past him. Mark was going to use all his brainpower thinking of a suitable lie.
      “She seems okay with the way I treat her, and it’s not like she doesn’t get back at me ever, she kicked me out of her office today” Mark winced at the memory.
      “Well, she deserves a medal for finally standing up to you. Maybe you should’ve been working and letting her work, and she wouldn’t have thrown you out. Or maybe you told her about your little affair with Ben, it looks like his girlfriend knows. Well, his ex-girlfriend. That’s a point, is it only your girlfriend who doesn’t know?”
      “There’s nothing to know”
      “Yes there is, there’s something going on with you and Ben and when she gets in I’m going to tell-”
      “Okay, you want to know why she doesn’t know anything, and why you have the wrong end of the stick?” Mark yelled, a sudden flash of inspiration coming to him.
      “Yeah, might be nice to hear the truth from you once in a while” Colin managed to remain calm against Mark’s outburst, hoping it gave him the upper hand.
      “Ben has a thing for me okay? It’s been going on for a while now, and he won’t hear different. He’s really pushing it if he’ll dump his girlfriend the day they go on holiday. And I wanted to protect Siobhan from his insane lust for me, how would you feel if your girlfriend admitted her best friend wanted her like that? That’s why she doesn’t know. And yeah, sometimes I can be a bastard to her, it depends how far Ben wants to push me, yesterday he kissed me, I couldn’t escape, so I needed to be out last night, thinking of how to deal with Ben’s bisexuality. I have thought about telling Sammie, letting her know what he’s really like, but how could I do that to someone so sweet? Turns out I didn’t have to, because he’s gone and done it himself”
      Colin looked like he’d been hit in the gut, and Mark had to stop himself smiling satisfactorily. Colin spent five minutes mouthing, and then finally spoke.
      “Let me get this straight, Ben fancies you. Ben kisses you. Ben dumps his girlfriend hoping that there’s more and you can’t sleep because he came onto you? Mark, why haven’t you told anyone? It’s sexual harassment, he shouldn’t be doing it to you” Colin rushed over and hugged his little brother hard.
      “I don’t want him arrested, he’s still my best friend. So I’ve had to keep it to myself. It’s such a relief telling you, but you have to keep it to yourself, I still care about him, as a mate. Else I wouldn’t have needed that drive last night”
      “Okay, but if he gets worse, tell me. I may not always get on with you but I’m still your big brother, I still have to look after you. But a word of advice-let Siobhan know, it can’t be that nice for her, wondering why you seem so self absorbed, and you can’t go on lying to her”
      Mark smiled to himself. Hook, line, and sinker, Colin was buying it all.

 

      Sammie heard the door go, and rushed to open it, hairbrush in her mouth. She was greeted by the sight of Ben and his usual flowers and chocolates. Why was he doing this to her? Any other time she would’ve loved them, and shared the chocolates with Ben. Especially the truffles, he seemed to really like those ones. But now . . .. things were still weird between them, how could he give her those things? He was looking at her hopefully; she knew she had to talk.
      “Ben, you’re early”
      “Yeah, I know, but . . . well, I called Mark-”
      “No offence, but I really don’t want to know what you two say to each other”
      “No, you want to hear this! Anyway, he was being strange on the phone, acting like we were discussing something totally different to the real topic, I think Gary or Colin was there anyway, so he couldn’t, but he said one sentence and . . . well, it proved to me that no matter how confused I am, you and me belong together, and he belongs with Siobhan”
      “She deserves better”
      “Maybe, but you convince her that Mark’s bad for her”
      “What did Mark say?”
      “Huh?”
      “What did Mark say to convince you that you belong with me?”
      “He said ‘I hope you and Sammie sort things out’ and I’m determined to, all the way through this holiday”
      “What if I don’t want you back?”
      Ben’s eyes widened. How could she say that? He thought . . . he thought that they were strong enough to pick it up again. It had only been a day.
      “How? Sammie, we were made for each other, everyone says so”
      “Everyone but you and Mark. Did you even consider the fact that you may have broken my heart last night? Do you know what it’s like to hear you say you’d rather be with a guy-and not just any guy, Mark, of all people, Mark Daniel Read-than with me? It’ll take more than presents to convince me that this was all a big mistake Ben”
      “Please, no, Sammie, I still love, you, you know that, please, don’t leave me alone”
      That was the wrong choice of words. It confirmed Sammie’s worst fears.
      “You really don’t care about me do you, you want Mark, and only Mark, but as Mark won’t have you because of the giant prick that he is, and as you’re afraid of being alone, you’ll take me back. No, I’m not going for that, I want to be with someone who loves me the way I love them”
      Both of them were in floods of tears now. Ben couldn’t stand to see Sammie like it. He went over to hug her, but she pushed him out of the door as soon as he was near enough to her.
      “No, Ben, you want it to be over so it’s over. I hope you and Mark have a nice life!”
      “Please, Sammie, I didn’t mean it like that I-” the door slammed in his face, and his voice became full of sadness “I love you”

 

     Siobhan got home and checked the post, still exhausted from the busy day, and the morning full of worry. Bills, so many bills. Hotel bills, car bills, bills from arenas and television shows. Her direct debit must be playing up again, she never got these bills as a rule, just a statement, it was only when there was a problem she got them. She took a stack of magazines through to the living room and started looking to see how much coverage her group had gotten. They were all over the gossip pages, and she smiled contently. If they were causing that much gossip, they were getting more attention. As long as they didn’t get too much, this meant they were going to do brilliantly. She even saw a picture of them posing with a1 backstage at top of the pops, which she and Sammie had been roped into as well. It had been taken the day after Mark had asked her out. She smiled as she saw Marks arm around her, and then a wave of guilt washed over her. Mark. She’d thrown him out of the office this morning, in a temper. Stupid tiredness! It always made her go funny. She’d been crying to Vicky all day, who had been so supportive, although as soon as she cussed Mark . . . had she joined in or told Vicky to stop it? Usually she stops people but she had the strangest feeling she’d joined in. She really couldn’t remember today. All she remembered was Vicky and upsetting Mark. It was normal for him to visit her if he was in the country, and they usually spent about an hour in private in the office . . .. had Mark wanted that? Oh, and she had snapped at him for . . . what was it? Saying Sammie could do better with Ben? That was it wasn’t it? Oh, now she felt bad. She called his mobile. Busy signal. She called the house phone, and Gary picked up.
      “Hello?”
      “Gary! It’s Siobhan, is Mark there?”
      “Yeah sure, he’s in his room, just a second” She heard him call upstairs “Mark, Siobhan’s calling! Well, hang up!” He spoke down the receiver again. “He’s just coming. So how are you?”
      “Tired, very tired. You?”
      “I’m fine, I got a week holiday so I’m just vegging. I was waiting for Dan to call though”
      “Do you want me to hang up and call his mobile? I tried that but it was busy, I can always try again”
      “Nah, he knows you’re on this line now. So have you got any more freebies for me?”
      “I swear you only try and get along with me for the freebies”
      “No, I do like you, you’re the first of Mark’s girlfriends that I do like. Ah, here he comes, right in the middle of our conversation. How rude is he?”
      “Very. See you Gary! I’ll bring the freebies over next chance I get”
      “Okay, bye!”
      She smiled. There was something about the Read’s you have to love.
      “Hi, why are you calling?”
      “Geez Mark, I felt bad about upsetting you today, I wanted to make sure you were okay”
      “I don’t know, you don’t usually kick me out”
      “And you don’t usually keep me up all night worrying my head off about you. Can we call it evens?”
      “Yeah. I hate fighting with you anyway”
      “Same here. So what were you up to today?”
      “Recording, oh, and I spoke to Ben quickly, but Colin wanted me off for a chat”
      “Is he still mad about this morning?”
      “I think so, but I told him you weren’t so there was no need to be”
      “Yeah. Actually, I’m a little guilty still about earlier. Want to come over and I make it up to you?”
      “Sounds good, brilliant in fact. Give me an hour and I’ll be there, okay?”
      “Okay, see you”
      “Bye sweetie”

      Siobhan hung up and made herself look slightly better with make up and cleaner clothes, mainly to make herself feel better but also to make Mark a little happier with her.

 

      “Mark?”
      “Ben?”
      “Yeah, can we actually talk now?”
      “Sure, I just had to take a call from Siobhan. We kind of fought earlier so I didn’t want her mad at me”
      “Have you told her?”
      “About what?”
      “Us”
      “There’s an us?”
      “If there isn’t then I’ve done the worst thing I can think of to Sammie”
      “Hmmm. Well, if you want to be with me . . .”
      “You mean, it’s up to me if we’re together?”
      “No, it’s up to me. Yeah, okay, but don’t go around shooting your mouth off, I just sweetened Siobhan up, I have to plan a way of letting her down gently”
      “Okay. I’m so glad one of you still wants me”
      “Well, I always thought Sammie was a bit dense, she has to be extremely dense to turn you down after everything you’ve been through together”
      “She’s not dense Mark, she’s heartbroken. I feel so bad about it; I can’t help being so confused. I want you both”
      “You can’t have us both”
      “I know”
      “I’d better go, I have things to do”
      “’Kay. Can’t wait to see you again”
      “Bye Ben”
      As soon as Mark hung up, Paul called him.
      “Hey Mark, hope I’m not disturbing things between you and your boyfriend”
      “Ben’s not my boyfriend”
      “But, but you were kissing in the cupboard, yesterday, and-”
      “Actually Paul, I was thinking about what you said to us, and well, I think being with you would be so much more exciting and interesting then Ben”
      “Whoa, Mark . . . but, what about you know-”
      “Oh, over, completely over, I’m not sure if she got that though. She still acts like we’re together, it’s hard not to play along, I hate to see her upset, even if I don’t care anymore”
      “Oh, Mark, you poor thing! Want me to come over and help cheer you up?”
      “Not in my parents house! Tell you what, we’re working tomorrow, right?”
      “Yeah, like we do almost everyday”
      “Yeah, look, we’ll get Chris to play his guitar at lunch and go off then, right?”
      “Um, okay. I still can’t believe this is you talking though Mark!”
      “Yeah, well, you will believe it tomorrow”
      “Okay, see you sexy!”
      “Bye Paul”
      Mark hung up, a huge smile of satisfaction across his face. His band could be so gullible. He wondered if he could hang Christian on a string too, everyone else hung so well, like he was a puppeteer and they were all his puppets. He got up and made his way out.
      “Mum, going to see Siobhan! See you tomorrow probably!”
      “Okay, have you got any clothes to take?”
      “I’ve got some round there”
      He made his way to the car, and before starting checked the mirror, thinking to himself ‘Yeah, you’re the man’.

 

      Ben was tossing and turning in bed, a dream taking over his whole being and seeming to him to be so much more real than the images created in his head. He was walking with Mark on one side of him, and Sammie on the other, both acting like they cared about him, hugging him, kissing him, telling him how wonderful and special he was. Suddenly, they reached a fork in the road. Sammie, being on the right, pulled him towards the right side of the road, telling him how the right way was the right way, which made little sense to Ben. Mark, on the left side, pulled him to the left fork telling him ‘they say left means sinister, but they always lie, with me it won’t be sinister, with me it’ll be safe’. Ben could feel himself stretching, winding into different shaped as the pulled more and more, and the fork grew and grew. Suddenly, Mark turned into a snake, and wound his body around Ben’s arm, forcing him further to the left. Sammie in turn, transformed into a phoenix, and threw balls of fire at Mark. She turned to Ben, looking deep in to his eyes, about to tell him what everything meant when-he woke up, cold sweat running down his face. Despite being in Florida, he started shivering. That dream, it had scared him. Why was Mark a snake? Snakes were usually evil, Mark could be a right bastard at times but he wasn’t evil. And Sammie, Sammie had been that firebird, the phoenix. That’s what they’re called, phoenixes. Why a phoenix? It made no sense? Okay, they’re pulling him apart in the dream, just like they are in real life, but why those animals? Why did he have to wake up when he did? He could’ve found out, Sammie had his answer. That’s it, Sammie had his answer, if she had in the dream, then she must in real life too. He ran through the corridors, forgetting that he always slept naked, and banged on her door.

 

      Siobhan opened the door to Mark, smiling.
      “Wow, you look amazing, more amazing than usual anyway” She grinned. He smiled back and kissed her.
      “Thanks. Am I coming in then?”
      She stood aside and let him in. He bent down and kissed her neck as soon as he shut the door, pressing her up against the wall.
      “Mark, as nice as this is, I was wondering if you wanted a massage”
      “That’d be nice” He grinned, and took off his shirt, then led her to the bedroom and lay down.
      “Just your back then Hun?” she grinned.
      “Yeah, unless you want to make it all over” Mark smiled. This was sweet; he had Ben begging to go out with him, Paul interested in him, and his girlfriend feeling bad about nothing, and willing to make it up to him. He smiled as she straddled him, and started soothing his back, occasionally kissing his bare skin. After a while, he turned over.
      “Is tonight all about me?” she nodded. He pulled her closer and kissed her deeply, knowing whatever he did to her, she would let happen. That’s why he loved her so much, that she was so willing to keep him happy. It was almost enough to make him feel guilty about playing everyone about.
      Almost.