Miss. Granger's Woes Chapter 1
Disclaimer: All characters are the property of J.K. Rowling. The fic is property of me so please don't take without permission! Thanks!
The smart one, the mudblood, the good girl, that’s what I’m known as. I really hate it sometimes. I hate not taking risks, always doing the right thing, knowing better. I can't stand it. Other girls are so...different. They're the girls who get all the guys, the popular ones with good personalities, well, some of them. I'm just...boring. Sure, I like to study and get good grades, but does that mean I’m not a fun person? Obviously. It just gets me so mad! Just because I don't do anything wrong, I’m considered plain. Scratch that, I do many things wrong.
I have TONS of imperfections.
One of them is telling people how I feel. I may say I’m not interested, but I really do want a boyfriend. Someone to tell me I’m wonderful without it being a teacher or my parents. Someone to take me into their arms and embrace me.
What about Krum you ask?
Humph...he was totally incompetent. I guess I only went out with him because I was desperate...that and I wanted to make Ron jealous. Oh Merlin did I just say that? Yes, I admit it, I like Ronald Weasley. The rude, disgusting, idiotic man that he is. Despite all that, I think I love him. I've tried to tell him, but I’ve failed dismally. I freeze up! But I really doubt he feels the same way. I mean, there are five million prettier girls than me out there. Why would he want me? We're just best mates.
Seems like everyone has somebody now.
Harry and Ginny, Seamus and Lavender and Neville and Luna. Even Loony Luna Lovegood has a boyfriend! Even if it is Neville...
I think Ron is going out with Parvati anyway.
I was so happy when I found out I was Head Girl, not like I wasn't expecting it, nor was anyone else. To tell you the truth, I was quite surprised that Ron was Head Boy. I mean, I worked for this for six years! What has he done?
I think he hates me...I really do. I think the only reason he hangs out with me is because he wouldn't be able to get his homework done if he didn't. That’s why most people hang out with me, or want to be partners with me. Now that I mention it, Ron always wants to be my partner all of a sudden. That's probably why. I expect nothing more of him really.
Bloody prat.
Yes, yes, I know, gasp, Hermione Granger cursed!
Oh Merlin!
Am I dreaming?
Which goes back to my first point. I just wish I were normal. Well, I’m never going to be 'normal'. I am a witch. I mean like all the other girls. Harry and Ron would probably scold me for saying that.
"You should be proud not to be like those other brutes." They'd say.
Heh.
They're really the best friends I’ve ever had. I guess that’s another reason I don't want to tell Ron how I feel. I don't want to lose his friendship. Harry's great too. He can go a little 'Teen Angst' sometimes, but I guess he's allowed to with all he's been through. He and Ron are always protecting me. They're like the brothers I’ve never had. Well Harry's more like a brother to me than Ron is.
Ron's...I don't know. I can't explain it, but lately, every time I see him, I get a feeling in my stomach. Like I’m gonna throw up. Then my palms get all sweaty. It’s a horrible yet wonderful feeling. I always have an urge to jump up, run my fingers through his gorgeous ginger hair, and snog him senseless. I know, I sound like a giggly schoolgirl, but in reality I guess I am one.
Hermione Granger, from stuck-up smarty, to giggly schoolgirl. That'll be a good title for the front page of The Quibbler.
Even though I do have the two best friends anyone could ask for, I do get teased a lot. When Harry and Ron aren’t (or weren't) there to protect me, I always think of something an old American First Lady said. "You cannot let someone make you feel inferior without your consent." Her name was Eleanor Roosevelt. I believe that with all my heart. That’s what makes me strong through tough times. I heard that quote when I was little, and I always looked up to it. I felt she was a very intelligent woman and I always wanted to be like her.
Not a housewife, although I must give them credit, but a strong independent woman! Who can take care of herself! Who doesn't need her husband to take care of her! I plan to take advantage of my intelligence!
All these years I thought I would never need a man...
But now...
Ever since Ron...I’ve sort of changed my mind.
I still want to be successful and independent, but I also want to feel wanted and loved! It would be nice.
I'm not really into this whole diary thing. Writing about myself is most definitely not my strong suit. Although, it helps. For the page and a half I’ve written already, I feel much better! I don't know if its good to get my feelings out to a piece of parchment instead of a person, but it does help a great deal. I should try it more often.
I bet you Parvati and Lavender have diaries.
Everyday they probably record their thoughts about themselves and their boyfriends in them. Girly stuff. They're beautiful! I'm just plain. Brown bushy hair. Brown boring eyes. My mom always said my eyes looked like hershey kisses though. It’s a muggle candy. All chocolate in the shape of a triangular cylinder. Really good actually.
Anyway yea, that's another reason. I don't have boy's chasing after me. I've thought about maybe straightening my hair but it doesn't really matter what I look like. I'm always thought of as a bookworm. Anyway, I want a guy who will like me for what’s inside not out. For what’s in my heart.
Ron is, kind of egocentric, but he is pretty handsome.
Brilliant ginger hair.
Smashing green eyes that seem to have 5 million different colors mixed in.
Gorgeous freckled face. I've always had an urge to count them. It may sound a bit odd, but I would really like to. He has millions probably. And I love each and every one of them.
I don't think I’ll ever be able to get over him. I will still love him the day he steps onto that altar and says, "I do" to the woman he loves. I'm hoping that will be me, but its doubtful. Again, back to the reason why I went out with Krum. Ron got so jealous every time I mentioned him. Then he began to bring him up randomly.
"What does Vicky think?" He would ask, using his nickname for him that I DISPISE! Other times he would make fun of him.
"Herm-own-ninny! I vant vait to see vou!" That’s another thing I love about Ron. He never fails to make me laugh. Even in the worst of situations he always finds some way of making me break out in laughter. Sometimes I wouldn't show it, and laugh after he leaves, but others I begin to laugh hysterically.
We do fight a lot though. It's usually about stupid petty things like homework. But when he apologizes (which is a rare occasion in itself), and he gives me that lop-sided grin that I claim mine, I melt. Oh that bloody grin. I could be so utterly furious with him, but when he gives me that grin, I seem to fall in love with him all over again.
Wow, it’s late. I guess I should go to bed. I love the silence of the common room at night. It’s so peaceful. Just me, the big comfy chair, and the fireplace. Its wonderful...if only...wait, who's that?
Someone is coming down from...Ron's Head Boy quarters? Probably one of the many girls that was with him.
Pfft.
Wait no, it’s a guy.
He's coming towards me.
Its Ron. Oh Merlin he scared me.
"What'cha doin 'Mione?"
I love it when he calls me 'Mione.
"Oh nothing...just stuff.." I reply
"What kind of stuff?"
"Personal stuff."
"Oh.... Can I see?"
"No! It’s for my eyes only!" He frowns.
"Oh, sorry. Why are you up so late anyway." He yawns. Oh he's so cute when he yawns.
"Thinking and writing. It’s so peaceful here at night." I say.
"Yea it is. I've been thinking a lot also."
"Yea? What about?" I ask.
"Nothing really. Life, school, love."
"Love?"
"Yea. Isn't love weird? I mean, you think its nasty when you’re a kid, and then when you get older, you want it the most out of everything."
Good point.
"That's true. Also, I find that you fall in love with the most unsuspecting person."
"Exactly. I know what you mean. One day, it just hits you, and you’re like, bloody hell! I love her!"
"Stop your cursing. And yes I know how you feel. So, do you love someone?"
"Yes I do. I just realized it not too long ago. If you told me that I would fall in love with this person, I would've laughed. How about you?"
"Same here. I would've never expected this person."
"So...who is it?"
I got tense. How dare he ask me?
"Well, that’s a very personal question. You go first."
He laughs.
"Okay, okay. The person I love is..."
He leans into my ear and whispers.
"You."
My mouth drops and my hand goes to cover it. Tears start running down my face.
"It’s okay if you don't feel the same way but-"
I cut him off with my lips and push him down. We break apart breathing heavily.
"Well I guess you do." He says.
"Oh yes I do, I always have!" I wrap my arms around his waist and he does the same. I lay my head on his chest and hear his pounding heart become slower and calmer.
Well diary, well, really loose pieces of parchment, I guess my wish has come true. I'm with the man I love, and he loves me for who I am. I've never been happier in my whole life! Not even when I got the highest O.W.L.S scores in the entire school. I love Ronald Bilius Weasley. I am what I am and I love it!
