funnystuff2

For information purposes only :

The Most Dangerous Snake
In the World

     NAME:
"Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake)
     LOCATION:
Throughout the world
   DESCRIPTION:
One-eyed, with mushroom-shaped head (other types come
with extralayers of skin). Varying from pink to black. Fang-less
with a highly venomous spit.
     (Spit can reach distances up to 2-3 feet) *Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood & sub-species.
    SYMPTOMS:
This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen,
resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling
followed by excruciating pain after nine months.
The attack is not usually fatal.
    Beware: It has been known to attack men in the
rear lower abdomen!
    HABITAT:
Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places.
   ANTIDOTE:
Various types of vaccine available for women.
However, once the venom is njected into the body only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery.There is no known antidote for men.

     WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED:

     TOURNIQUET: Do not apply a tourniquet as the
venom is too deep in the body to be affected.

    CUTTING THE WOUND: This would be completely
unnecessary and ineffective as the bleeding will stop after
a few weeks anyhow.

     SUCKING THE WOUND: This method is the most
popular with the victim, but so far has not been reported
to have led to any success.

     SEARCHING FOR ANTI-VENOM:
     1. Place four fingers of the right hand around the neck of
         the reptile, with the thumb in the front.

     2. Grip firmly and move the hand in an upwards
         and downwards motion.

     3. This will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive,
         very rigid and start spitting.

     *The time taken for this milking process depends entirely on
the milker and the last time the snake attacked. Once milked,
the snake should be harmless for about 20 minutes.*

     CONCLUSION:
     This snake, although it is very aggressive and
active, is not necessarily a vermin, and treated with the right
respect, makes a wonderful pet.