If you could meet any person, who would it be? Boy, that�s a tough question. Probably James Hetfield of Metallica. Metallica really got me started on the whole hard-rock theme. Who is your dream date and what would you do? Ooo, I�m scared of this one, kinda hard to say. Pansy. Shut up, Jpod. I�ve been informed from a short, greasy-haired mustachioed colleague that you can woo the ladies like no other. Explain. I guess the bottom line is this: When I like a girl, I go the extra mile to make her feel special. Good to hear. Lately I haven�t been doin� so well, though. What�s your favorite class at East? Most definitely 9th grade science with Jpod and Aaron Lassila. I could go on and on about 9th grade science, but it probably wouldn�t be funny to anyone else unless you were there. It was just the class to look forward to. Yea it was. That class was like no other. What�s 1 thing every man should know? It could be as complicated as HONORS PHEESEECS, or as simple as slammin� a dew. Always try make the best of any situation. I think you can make anything fun if you want to. Party on, dude. You work at Movies Plus. I�ve seen some strange customers there. Which one sticks out in your mind the most? Boy, there�s been a lot. (His brow furrowed in concentration, I can see the turmoil he�s goin� through). This one huge guy came in all the time, in the summer, haven�t seem him lately though, anyway, this guy would smell so bad, the store would reek. This guy was BAD. The worst smell you�ve ever smelled. The store would reek for a � hour afterwards. You were recently quoted to say, �ALL OF THOSE INSOLENT TOADS WILL PAY. WHO THE HELL DO THEY THINK THEY ARE? I WILL �bleep- THEIR MEXICAN MOTHERS WHILE THEY HOPSKOTCH ON HER WITHERED, PIMPLY ASS. I WILL SHOW THEM HUMILIATION, EVEN IF IT REQUIRES PINCONES AND LUBRICANT.� Wanna explain that? I don�t remember saying that, really. Sorry, must have been some other guy. And that concludes my interview with COBRA KYE. I can only hope one more in the future will be granted� |
| The Kyle: |
| Exclusive Interview with Jordan "Jpod" Wiklund |
| (Continued) |